you would have got bonus points if you had asked “You are a guy?”. The answer to both these questions is Yes.
I identify as a ghost pirate. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of sailing the undead seas searching for the afterlife of dave jones’ locker . People say to me that a person being a ectoplasmic-sea captain is Impossible and I’m retarded but I don’t care, I’m sp 
ky. I’m having an ethereal cutlass created, a 17th century french sloop and a ghostly crew of shanty singers bought. From now on I want you guys to call me “deadbeard” and respect my right to kill rival poltergeist and photonically phase my being into the next realm . If you can’t accept me you’re a phantom-buccaneerphobe and need to check your undead-aquatic privilege. Thank you for being so understanding matey.
You remind me of a friend of mine, really 
I met him recently but he has the same humor, I’m sure of it.
I love how all your replies are Pirates of the Caribbean themed.
That was the point 
With PotC taking over this topic for a day, here’s a phone wallpaper if anyone is interested.
@nefermiw I am sure that friend of yours is a great guy 
I was gonna post that
What’s the last word in that gif? It’s covered by the url.
She says “I’ve had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates.” in the movie, but I think this gif crops the pirate part.
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Someone has lost their marbles on Ebay. Selling an empty RC car box (and nothing but an empty box) for £76 (with delivery included). And it’s just made of cardboard.