Wonderful statement there at the end. I’m happy you’re keeping your head up in this complicated situation. Wishing you and your family members much strength!
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@theearlywalker
@rickvanmeijel
Thank you! So much!
I may say this over and over again. But it’s not diminishing my gratitude!
For you!
Your words!
This place!
All of you!
Linking Perk!
Linkin Park!
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LINKIN PARK! 
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I am so sorry to hear that sweetie But trust me you are a great mum doing all that you can for sorting the problems for you kids. Things will be fine real soon, but please just don’t hate yourself 
You are stronger than your mum 
Do not keep such negative thoughts in your brain. And your daughter… she’ll understand soon and support you as well. Sending lot of strength and love! 
You are very strong!
Sorry i am too late to reply this… i hope things are much more better now
See… all i wanted to say just in better words … lol ( 
i need to improve my voacb a lot! 
)
@hilaryfol hope things are going quite well now
I wish i could come there and give you a big hug That’s i guess the best you can do now. Just be yourself for a while and recover from all the scars life gave you. That little break is very important Hope you get a good therapist and you are perfectly fine real soon! 
(
Why am i always lost and late ! ? )
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You are never to late, my dear @Honey8
Thank you so much!
It’s so amazing! You and what that matter @framos1792 too, if we wanted to meet, the shortest way would be through the globe. And it may sound cheesy but we feel understanding, compassion, friendship and love for each other! That per se is prove, that all this nonsense in the world is totally unnecessary and unfounded!
Big hug for you busy bee! Stay tuned! 
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You are great,brave and strong woman and mom , your daughter are lucky to have you. Respect 
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You sure can lecture me, I wanted to write on my book. But the problem is, for me, it’s not working that way. When some things pop up, they just want to be written. It’s taking form in my mind and I have a big itch for the keyboard.
Just normally I’ll write it and seldom post it, cause when it’s out of the system it’s done.
But not with you, I promised myself, no holding back. As annoying it my be for me AND for you.
So something about my inner child:
If you didn’t get enough love as a child, you have always this craving little one in you. Every small maybe rejection is felt as strong pain. And a common reaction is to get angry, lash out at the other one.
My reaction is, to hate and hurt myself, especially that small, needy part. Basically repeating the same thing, what happens to me as a child.
Through therapy I learned a lot.
Seeing that there is this child, in the first place, of course.
Then accepting it, that it won’t go away through hating it, or hurting it.
I have to take it on, love it, hold it.
So next, I tried to suffocate it, holding it quite, free to the motto, now I see you, I hold you and please, shut the fuck up.
Didn’t work well, started crying again.
So annoying, to learn that just seeing things, working on them didn’t make you whole in the long run.
I have to accept that!
That unsatisfied inner child will never goes away! It’s something I have to deal the rest of my life with. To be annoyed about it, isn’t helping.
I have to see and accepted this.
If I feel rejected, all I can do, is feel it, really feel the pain.
And were do I feel the pain?
Is it a new pain?
Or an old one?
How old?
And if it is the pain of the small child, I can show her that I’m grown up now, that I take care of myself. And that I see her, hold her, love her. Me.
And I can take help, caring and love from others. Always aware that the need of my inner child is bottomless. No one can satisfy that, that’s no burden for anyone else to carry but myself.
I have really good friends in my life. Honestly, I’m blocking people away sometimes, because it’s to much. I like meeting new people. But for more, you must have done the first step. To see, that no one can safe you, but yourself. Don’t have the strength and patience for people who blame everyone else for their problems, are bottomless in their needs.
You try to take the best of me, GO AWAY!
So you sweet, lovely guys!
Still with me?
Thank you so much for it!
For being here!
I never want to lecture anyone, it’s just my stuff. If you want to contradict, feel free!
If I annoy some, being all over the place, taking to much space, blame @framos1792
Just kidding, thank you so much dear batman!
And all the others from the lunatic squad team!
I’m jumping in, jumping out!
Taking spaces, feeling bad about it.
It is at it is at it is.
Thank you soooooo much guys!!!
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yeah, anybody want to mess with her, they can mess with me first 
oh waiiiit, you want to blame me, okay 
I’m behind it all 
It’s rough feeling that way 
I can comprehend why, I just hope a little affirmation from everyone can help you feel as loved as you are it’s different people you know now, and it’s people who actually like you for you 
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Still no likes back? 
Did you even get enough sleep? 
Yeah! You are my hero!
Okay, if anyone is messing with you! Just call!
But please, dance with @IronSoldier16 
I give the song to it in the music topic @anngelenee can show you the steps 
So sweet!
And scary!
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not yet I use one then they’re gone for 1hour
people are crazy 
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You are not annoying and we care about you
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Sometimes I sure can be
But really thank you for your words!
Means a lot!
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Thank you sooo much dear! I am again 12 days late lol… i send you loads of strength and love! 
[quote=“anna834, post:1861, topic:34476”]
Still with me?
[/quote]
Always until we end biologically.
You see. all are so sweet here: 
Dear everyone has said everything So what is left with me?
I know about the inner child feeling, maybe not that well since not experienced
I just treat it as a kid, and give all love like we do to a kid
Let the small one be happy by doing whatever makes it the same
In the end we all are here for you , together for you and kid
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Oh @Honey8 Thank you!
Coming on, seeing this:
always makes me jump in happiness!
Lots of hugs for you.
And sorry, I have not enough likes to go on a liking spread for you. So some more here!
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ohhh yeshh!! That’s hat i do when i always come here hehe!! thank you thank you!!
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@anna834 wasn’t able to spend much time here lately, so I just read your previous posts in here.
I must say how proud I am you are such a strong person, I really admire that! Beautiful to see how you take giant steps in self-care. Ofc you will never stop to be a mom, that’s one of the parts that make you an amazing mother
I know the feeling of “nobody can save me, only I can save me now”. I’m with you in that. But we will succeed 
I love you hun, you can do this!! I believe in you
Ps: you are never annoying
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Dear @birdy1989
Thank you so much for you and your words!
I myself feel that way really often. Not annoyed mood vice, but to much. Especially in this place. And I struggle with it. In some ways I’m not even recognising my self. And I try to let me be, just to see what’s happen. And then, I feel ashamed again.
The support I get from you all is just overwhelming! So, so thankful!
Love to you!
And know, what ever it is, I am here for you!
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I know this feeling, like you’re a burden…
And tho I feel the same, I want you to know that it’s okay 
you are not a burden! Right now I know I’m not either, but that’s because I’m having a good day 
just know you are loved good night
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Last night I stumbled about this one measured for this week.
It felt like a blow in the stomach.
How could I’ve taken so much space?
Put my self in the center?
And with that amount of likes, how can I feel still unliked.
Am I never to satisfy?
Next reaction was to run, back to quiet and lurking.
This morning it’s better. It was my decision to let my self lose, unrestrain myself.
So I answered my tags, not fair to not do this neither.
And I have a warm feeling towards myself. Couse I can see the little Anna. This child that always was to loud, to wild, to unrestricted, to bad behaved, felt to strongly, always hungry. Every adult hated that.
It really started when I entered kindergarden with five and then school with six, that I turned. All this hatred and torture I received by the other kids. For being to tall, self made haircut, dressed in used boys stuff, talk about fantasies, totally unsporting, clumsy …
I become quiet, afraid, always on the edge, ready to run, scanning my environment for danger.
And I so wanted to be like them, a ordinary home, a father there, a mum that stand up in the morning, make you breakfast and a lunch back.
It was then, I was six or seven, when I started to don’t want to live anymore. I wanted to die, wanted to be dead.
To ease this, it wasn’t all hard. In the afternoon I had wild boys to play with, wrack my ladies bicycle on the bmx parkour. And that we hadn’t as much was just a decision from my hippie mom, grandma was always ready to safe.
And today?
I’m not that wild child anymore.
And I’m also not that afraid one.
I now what I want!
I don’t want to be the centre of attention!
- No one looking up at me.
- No one looking down at me.
I also know, I can’t do anything about the second one. It doesn’t matter how I behave, there will be people who can’t stand me. So I try to do a step back, look at it and ask myself: who has the problem? And way should I care.
For the first thing, I will try to restrain my self more, let room, give space, participate, give back.
Quite a ride for me here.
Thank you all for your patience and love.
Ps had to laugh loud that of all the people none caring robot @the_termin8r is next
Pps didn’t forget you @Fravaco , not for one moment!
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