I didn’t claim it was mine. Said it was from Sant Francisco. 
That I tend to get so narrow inside. For all the trees, I see the wood no more.
1 Like
I’m in Sacramento 
Eh? 
Very naturalistic 
1 Like
Seems to be just a typical German saying
1 Like
I was wanting to play it off haha
And agreed
And I knew that @framos1792 name is Fransisco. I played on the Saint course he everytime hit the mark.
2 Likes
I think we all kind of naturally know that 
Being unaware of something is different from acting on something you already know
And nobody wants to be known a saint everyone makes mistakes
What’s more…one bad advice can cancel out 1000 good advices in someone’s mind 
it’s why people usually stay quiet I suppose 
2 Likes
Sorry. Really.
1 Like
No sorries needed 
To be continued on chat
1 Like
Hello checking in.
I am in Greece and I’m having the time of my life. I kinda realised recently that I basically live in the Mamma Mia movie. With few small changes.
The job is awesome despite few flaws but there is no perfect job and I finally started to live. I finally have something to talk about. My life stopped being boring and I am awesome. I think it was meant to be. I was going to go to Greece and just have all the adventures.
And I became an aunt in June. So proud and happy.
My mental health is awesome. For all the people who didn’t give up on me, massive thank you
11 Likes
How is everyone doing? All fine here 
Random hug to person who needs it most rn Take care everyone! 
5 Likes
It going to be the hardest 4 months with my husband to be. We had to send hem away to get help and i know 4 months is not a long time. But when u have been with someone that u been in love with for a very long time. I know he be okay he have God by his side i do too. It just going to hard not seeing hem for a long time. I can’t see hem or talk to hem for 30 days but i v
Can Wright to hem eveny day.
All the best for you and your husband, I hope you’ll feel time will pass by very quickly! 
1 Like
Take care dear, Sending you strength! 
Time will go away soon… things will be alright
Sending you strength for these month
All the best and strength to you all
Thursday morning and I am finally ready to talk here.
It rains outside and I am still cozy in my bed. I have a huge headache who already tells me that she want to be worse. At least when I would get active. To that heavy stomach cramps and me, right happy about it. Cause it all explains two days ago. 
But as usual I was all over this place, so I start from the beginning.
As I follow my own writing here, it actually started already six days ago with very strong feeling of loneliness, followed by shame and guilt.
Dang, really? Six days? 
And the nexed day I already registered that it wasn’t done with the one evening. So I started with measurements to be proactive. I met up with friends. Did go for swimms and nightly rides. Did a lot of talking here, cooked for myself. The hole time in a bit of a frenzy cause I knew it was all fighting off. Saturday I promised myself that monday morning I would call a therapist to get on a waiting list for appointments.
And I decided to stop to get a beer in a bar on my evening bike ride through the city. Never had I don’t that bevor and even with company not really. Honesty don’t get the hole small talk drinking thing in bars.
To my advantage I knew the bar owner. Actually I know a lot of people in my town cause my ex is from here and very, very, very outgoing. So I know even more people then they know me, for years I was more the quiet observer.
Back to the bar, one beer turned into four and I had really fun. Talking nonsense with total strangers, never done that before. 
So Sunday I woke up real flighing. Thought I had done it! Fought through it! Yeah! I can do it!
Just to lie 10 hours later on my couch, curled up like a ball, not knowing how to breath, shaking all over, heart bumping, pain, so deep, heart wrenching, brain mashing.
Yea, I got helped through it by you guys, again. Thank you!
Afterwards I was, I don’t know, mostly totally exhausted. Drained. How could that happen? I’ve done so much to prevent this! And such a heavy pain attack! I wasn’t even exhausted! Were is the reason to it all! It’s way to much! How did I handle this before? Will it never stop?
To that I must say, that I did a lot of therapy already and my real dark days are still totally over! But in all this time dealing with pain it never came up to really have a name for it. Seeing that it isn’t normal to feel this. That the pain attacks in waves. And with such vehemence that the body and the brain reacts to it.
When you have something like that for forever and be always alone with it, it’s not really easy to define it as anything.
In a way it’s like with the non smelling thing. Took me years to realise that I don’t. Sure other people talked about odor, but when you know nothing about it, how do you recognise this?
So you here in the forum gave me words for this. I can’t say thank you enough!
Yesterday I missed the calling hours by the therapist. But today!
I got him! And I have a first meeting next Monday, cause someone else cancelled. 
To that, my condition today explain everything. F*** hormones again! How can I still miss this sometimes? And would it had helped to realise this Saturday? I don’t think so, would have slowed down the mind carousel a bit, but not the pain.
My monthly schedule is totally out of control right now, it’s more like a three weeks schedule now. But not everytime as troublesome as this.
If anyone want to suggest a gynecologist, I already have. She want to perscripe hormones. But she don’t know me long enough. I’m not doing good with this hormones. Nearly died of the reaction to the birth control pills. Had a year of pneumonia and asthma and slowly fading away, till one of the many, many doctors I visited came up with just drop this pills.
And in both pregnancies I had to be hospitalised cause I couldn’t stop throwing up for months on end.
So, thats it. The pain has different triggers and I’m still in learning. Hope to get more help from the therapist.
To you all, I owe you already more than you can imagine! Thank you!
Wow. My headache reached a point were I feel nausea due to the pain. And I am still happy about it.
Take care you all!
5 Likes
Don’t think nobody reads it or like it. I’ve already read it and will give it a like in a moment. I mean that rescue and support sometimes comes late or later than you expect.
Good that you are so open. Good that you name the problem and look for help.
I’ll get back later. Maybe I will think of something more clever to say as a support. Sending hugs.
2 Likes
Thank you @anomalia 
Your support is just perfect as it is.
It is a long text, again.
And I am in a better mind mood as it is today.
Finally the headache is a little better too.
Nausea gone.
Driftet in and out of sleep the whole day.
Just happy to not be at work!
A big hug for you!
3 Likes
Hey Anna, @anna834 thanks for your trust and that you finally let it go- that gives the relief that you need to step over these Panik attacks. They are a symptom- a hint that there is still something inside of you that needs to find silence -
I’m glad you are brave enough to finally get the appointment- It’s the right way… step by step- and you know we’re always here if you need some support- to rant, to reach out or just a beary hug - strong lady… I wish you a good and empathetic therapist- and- if It calms you: I made a lot of therapy myself until now and I still do- and all I can say is that we run too easily back to old roads - the self betrayal is always on a jump - and therefore a view from the outside- as in supervision - is the best thing to have. Wishing you all the best - hang in there you’re not alone
3 Likes
Thank you for your words @theearlywalker
I already ask my self what I exactly did before I met all you. But right things at the right time!
A hug from me! 
2 Likes