Anxiety blog (feel free to talk here!)


I got this one :blush: I saw it at Hannah’s vlog, she explained what was in her crisis-kit and there were a couple things in it from the de-stress kit, do I thought I’d give it a try


way to go :smiley::smiley::smiley::smiley:
sometimes, it’s hard to talk to the persons most close to us, but most of the times they can surprise us with understanding and support. really glad that you were able to open to your friends and family, your fight will be easier with their support!
Hope you and everybody here with the same problems can beat the battle against ansiety&depresion :heart: sending you all a lot of strength!


@manypintas thank you so much :heart: :smile:

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i promise it will make perfect sense when out.
something funny happens always though.
the length is determined by the completion of the message.
the long videos are long to watch, the short ones too compact to follow
but they are all determined by what’s there to be said, the tune being used and the length it has
but most importantly the level of the considered viewer’s foundations.
Viewers out there are all ranges, people who know what is shown and people who need to pause and do some research.
When it comes to all videos from this account there is a sequence that begins in 2016 which, after being digested by the video editor himself, he moved on to the 2017 and 2018 msgs and it is absolutely logical that those skipping the steps cannot follow.

I don’t go for many viewers dear ladies, (@lpfan61) or gents.
only for those who would care enough to care to discover the world around them.
i consider it their responsibility as mine is to make them.
it is a small pack indeed
those who miss a beat never share so they don’t ruin their image with something they don’t go out to research themselves, plus, there is no support from youtube since they are not advertiser friendly so the views stay at a minimal, like a good catch one night out at the sea.

Concerning the video described, the above was only an intro. It is now ready and exporting and i promise a good experience as this is what each video is to me.
an experience that leaves something positive in you concerning things that have been battled with and won.
The message uniting all videos is empathy and i considered the depression killah (16 min) a short intro so people would look for more but … hehh i might have been wrong on that…
dear @birdy1989 the tracks that really fired me back up where “A line in the sand”, “Guilty all the same” and “Blackout” but nobody watches my guilty all the same clip that is blaming parents for their child’s depression because they hate all 10 minutes of it! (“This one’s gonna hurt[2018]”)

These songs filled in right after my old world collapsed with “Roads untraveled” to be replaced with a new one. coinciding with the death of my brother (ChesterBe)
all of this s the three long ones called “grande finale” referring to the grande exit of a … racer, rider, self!

My new world began when i lost my cousin from depression as he committed back in 2017 (May)
and it is where i saw the war.
The war i am now dedicated in trying to show the world (for them, not me) that has happened before because you see…
Achilles didn’t get involved in the Trojan war until his cousin died.
funny that…
but how many of potential viewers know that and/or have used the Trojan war (Iliad and Odyssey) to discover values and ethics that men like Alexander the great lived by?
Some Greeks do… not all… and they are not my only target group but if i explain more they become longer than this post :stuck_out_tongue:
Now someone is without a self but a purpose… a purpose that will be well defined in the completed video :slight_smile:

Our war is with darkness!
and it is a war we can’t afford to lose!

I hope you enjoyed the read and that you will enjoy the video more!
Hang in there :upside_down_face:


Posted something about Smiling Depression.


job’s done.

need restt
now i have to subtitle it all :sleeping:
i’ll start by a walk in the woods…

have a brilliant day everyone

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I’m in Austria, we are with a group of 9. And there I am, feeling anxious and having the feeling I can’t talk to anyone about it. Tho my husband is here with me, and 4 others know that I have GAD since the letter I wrote… It makes me feel lonely :see_no_evil: but I feel like I don’t deserve to feel lonely. Like it’s all just stupid :slightly_frowning_face:

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You are not alone, we are here and listen!
Big hug! :heart:
So laugh at your demon! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

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A little update from my side.
Went to the psychologist yesterday. His conclusion was the same as mine: early stage of depression and I need to gain control over my thoughts again. So we made a plan, I got some things I need to do and I need to come back every Friday.

Today I’m in crisis :cry: I feel like complete shit. I don’t want to do anything, but I know that’s the worst thing to do right now, so I’m going to take a walk outside in a moment. I just feel worthless, that nobody loves me and I don’t want to live… I know it’s all bullshit and I promis I won’t hurt myself, it’s just how I feel right now. I try to think of the show last Thursday, but even that doesn’t help right now. So I’m going to take a walk outside now.
Just wanted to update you guys cause you’ve been so supportive :heart: I love you guys, thanks for everything you do


Sorry to hear… :worried:

:cold_sweat: Nooot true!! You have a whole family here that loves you! And also friends and family in your real life… :muscle: :muscle: :heart: :hugs: :hugs: :sun_with_face:

Yeah, a walk could be nice to do…this is a nice weather, spring, flowers blooming, the sun… enjoy it! :hibiscus: :blossom: :tulip: :sun_with_face: :hugs:

Follow your psychologist advices and hope the plan works soon and well! :muscle: :sun_with_face: :muscle: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs::heart:


I’m sorry @birdy1989.

Know that you are not alone and you are loved. :hugs::hugs::hugs:

I’m so grateful to have met you and spent time with you on wednesday and thursday, it was great because you’re such a good person. I would love to spend time with you again ( maybe the next Mike’s show in Amsterdam? :grin:).

A walk could be good (I don’t know if the weather is as good as yesterday, but if it is that would be even more enjoyable).

Sending you strength for today, try to get good rest too and take care of you. We are here whenever you need to. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


Your thoughts are busted!
Thats so not true!
Big hug for you! :hugs:
And all the strength! :muscle:

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Thank you all :hugs: I know my mind is playing tricks with me, I know there are people who love me, it just didn’t felt that way. I’m doing better now, just tensed (dunno if that’s the right english word for it?), but no longer in crisis :pray:t2:
Unfortunatly there is no sun today, same weather as Thursday tbh. But I went out with a friend, we talked a lot and grabbed lunch. That was a good thing, cause I didn’t ate because of the crisis :see_no_evil: so it’s good that she did that, I need to take care of myself.

@Lilyope thank you for your text :pray:t2::heart: I agree, we should definatly meet up again, I loved spending time with you :blush: you are so sweet and such a good person as wel!

So, I’m doing better now and I’m going out for Pokemon Go community day :blush:
Thank you for the nice words family :pray:t2: you are the best family I could wish for :heart:


@birdy1989 I completely agree with @Lilyope. You are an awesome person and I am so grateful I got to meet you. I am glad you caught it early but at the same time sorry you have to go through it. Sending you so much strength. We are all fighting with you


I felt like writing something in here but then I got in this thread and I’m like: wtf am I doing…?
I feel terrible today :cry: the depression is consuming me from the inside, telling me I don’t want to live anymore, but I definitly don’t want to die… Just want to cry really, but I somehow can’t cry. This is the worst depression I’ve had :see_no_evil: it sucks and I just wanna feel better… I can handle the GAD with it’s anxiety’s and all, but this… I just want this to stop :pensive:

But since I’m a fighter and not a quitter, I’ll keep on going. I’ll keep on doing the exercises my psychologist tells me to do, keep on going to my appointments and I’m going to win this battle!
It’s just so fucking hard… :pensive:

That’s kinda whats on my mind right now… Didn’t want to be so negative and all. Just needed to write my thoughts down I guess.

Don’t worry about me, I’ll probably be better tomorrow.


Sending you strength and love :heartpulse: and I will be here for you

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Its hard for me to respond in a “right” way.
And I so want to!

Please keep on fighting! !!!
You are loved! !!!

Bear hugs for you! !!!

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A word ‘gad’ means a reptile (like :crocodile:) in Polish. So you need help to fight it.

I’m sending you a specialist:

Do you know this guy? He’ll deal with your GAD only. Your python may sleep in peace.


dear @birdy1989 i just realized there was more in this post.
but it sure feels like there’s been some connection in my attempt to extend a hug some place else while this thread was going!
It sure was a weird month (or two) for me, having surgery on me and on one of my dogs, burying the other and living the final days of the third (two past weeks are about that) so i hope you can accept my apology as it is 100% sincere!

i have a question… what do you feel would be easier for you to do
write and describe where this feeling of loneliness comes from or would you rather hear others talk about it?

if anything, i don’t want to bore you
but as i stated -you know where-
depression is the queen that reigns supreme until her king is found
but that king is gonna have to be the one to marry her.
Everything in that video is based on things hard to put in a video.

i have a long story with depression…
but she doesn’t want you hearing it!

but i know you will pull through because LP soldiers always survive wars!
did you ever happen to see my Chester trib?
trying to avoid linking everything around so i hope you can find it yourself

you will pull through your dark by appreciating the warmth of light.
But if going under is unavoidable, just take a snorkel with you (LP songs)
because i promise you, it’s the hardest of swords that need a lot of hammering.
to speak about the dark one may have to experience it so… be strong
nothing is an accident!
but alone you are not!
endless :hugs:

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seriously all…
while we have another soldier struggling in the fight, maybe it’s a good time to ask… :
with all that surrounds us… how can one not go under?
who’s sick then?
those going under, or those causing it?
and who are we treating?
the sick, or the healthy?

maybe Amy knows better?