Anxiety blog (feel free to talk here!)

The Back Room
#41

Thank you all so much for the positive words :hugs:

@anomalia you may always ask me anything. Some things are hard to talk about, but I can talk about almost everything.
My psychologist thinks I “created” an anxiety disorder before or during my first depression. Tho it’s hard to tell exactly when it was. But I got EMDR therapy for multiple trauma’s back then, so all the things together probably caused it. But I was like 16 or 17 then, I’m 29 now, so I’m not sure when it started. My new psychologist told me I have Generalized Anxiety when I was about 25. So I’ve been living my life for about 8 years before I got the proper help. So that makes it hard to discover when it came up.

I just posted a new one:

I’m not going to write one every day, but I felt like writing today and I have vacation this week :sweat_smile:

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#42

@birdy1989
well, it’s funny… that anxiety of yours is striking me as something very familiar.
Acute yes, but i wouldn’t call it clinical!

i was supposed to be delivering this vid on depression i shared a preview here but tragedy hit!
i got rushed for surgery which is over now (Sunday surprise after 5 day high fever) but i’m still trying to cope with the aftermath and this must be the 6th or 7th day i can’t work.
But i do hope dear birdy to pay you back for the help you’ve offered which is more than i can describe so i will leave that for the video
it’s ready but not uploadable if i don’t fix the texts in the intro (big bummer for me… very annoyed!!)

There will be something about pearls on the very end too as a conclusion.
see, did you know that the gate to Heaven is made of pearls?
not diamonds, not any other rock but them.

a pearl is only created when a tiny dust particle gets stuck in the mouth of the sea shell (its name escapes me now) so as it keeps rubbing it so as to get rid of it, the saliva (or whatever that has) creates this rock around it that has a value to us but is only the result of its pain.

Although pain is our friend and it helps us make our gem
it is prohibiting me from writing more tonight :slight_smile:

be strong batgirl :superhero: (aka birdy :pp)

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#43

@achilleas7 You had surgery? :cold_sweat: what happened? Hope you’re doing better now. Take all the rest your body needs and take it easy

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#44

@achilleas7 what happened??! :worried: Sending you strenght!! :muscle: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :muscle:

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#45

This is an anxiety thread, so i can’t comment further on a physical condition. :kissing_heart:
it was a result from… too much editing!! (chair)
(standing now to type this)
and there’s a next visit tomorrow
what-a-week
funny note: anesthesia doesn’t work!! :sweat_smile:
but i’m an LPU :muscle::muscle::raised_hands:

:gift_heart: @lpfan61 @birdy1989
:fist_right: :fist_left:

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#46

Take care of yourself :kissing_heart: hope you feel better soon :pray:t2:

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#47

Hi @birdy1989
read your knew blog entry, while filling the watering troughs. (Better to read something, than working meanwhile, always gets the barn flooded.)
You left me with a big smile!
Love how you give a positive feeling with this heavy and hard stuff.
Your skills to tame your demons, just great!
Wish you only the best!

@achilleas7 I wish you fast and good recovery.

#48

Thank you @anna834 :blush:
Unfortunatly I had my first panic attack today in many months :pensive: the positive thing is that it was a really long time ago since the last one. But I thought they were gone… And I was feeling do good this morning :persevere:
Tomorrow will probably be a better day, I don’t give up

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#49

A hug for you. :hugs:

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#50
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#51

Hey @birdy1989 :hugs::hugs::hugs: saw your daily msg at the what are you doing thread, like @lpfan61 already said, calm down we are here-

the deamon anxiety will make you give up- once again- the 100th time… or even more… and somehow- due to whatever- it could trigger you again, the beast … it’s the desease itself- it’s part of it to play you this way- one day full of power and strength to tear you down even harder the next day- with a demonic grinning on its ugly face… :japanese_goblin:…

It’s good you reach out to see a psychologist again, and it’s not failing like it may feel and make you feel probably even worse- it’s the complete opposite, it‘s the next battle in this war- and you’re not giving up- never - and that’s a strenght that you have dear- to walk on- to hang in in the safe awareness: ite you will suceed and learn to be the boss of your feelings

Hope you already feel the beast getting smaller after the whole family sent you hugs- and love- love will kill the beast ite… and we love you dear - you’re not alone :hugs::heart:

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#52

I don’t know if I should put this here since it is the anxiety theard

But right now I am in school having a severe anxiety attack

#53

Listening to you. :hugs::heart:

#54

Right now it’s getting really bad in my mind

One person in my mind is telling me to kill my self
And another is trying to talk to one person out

Normally i could just lay down and relax but in class right now
I was able to break through some of the schools firewall to talk to you on my school I pad

I am trying to focus on my criminal law class but I am having trouble doing that

#55

Listen to @AJ_7 wish you strength
:hugs::heart:

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#56

Loads of strength to everyone that needs it. Anxiety is not easy to deal with. You guys are incredibly brave and strong. Every day you fight, and every day you win. It’s something to be extremely proud of!

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#57

@StephLP18 this is the perfect place to share this. I am really glad AJ helped you that quickly :pray:t2:
Do you know what the trigger was? Or wasn’t it a triggered attack? Hope you’re doing okay :kissing_heart:
If you ever feel like talking about it, I can give you my email adress. Just let me know then.

@lpfan61 @theearlywalker @anna834 @StephLP18 @manypintas @AJ_7 and who ever I forget. Thank you so much for the support and the nice messages :hugs: it really helps to see that people care, cause my demons keep telling me that no one cares about me :pray:t2: this helps me see that the other things they say aren’t true either. Doing better now than this morning :blush:

I got the referral for the psychologist. So I can call tomorrow. I hope there isn’t a “wait time” :crossed_fingers:t2: :pray:t2:

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#58

Read your new entry, thank you for sharing. @birdy1989 be proud of yourself for seeking help! Great job!
:muscle::hugs::heart:

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#59

This is so good news @birdy1989! I am so happy. I hope there is no wait time too. Good Luck! And remember, we all, always care

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#60

Thanks :heart:

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