Anxiety blog (feel free to talk here!)

[achilleas7]

Dear @birdy1989
If you don’t mind i would like to quote you on an argument i am getting UNBANNED from today
the “argument” is on depression but if you ask me… there ain’t no arguments… just a bloody room!

and i need your age if so, in order to say : “Here’s what a xx year old girl realized on depression, idiots”
Because you see, there’s this riding community, that pretends to care for depressed riders while all they do is talk about how they deal with the world better than those who can’t and they have gotten me angry and banned twice already

here’s the link for it

note on the very first post, there’s been an “edit” warning people to NOT read from page 10 on!
that’s where i got in
hahaha

the post already had 40 likes and now it looks like 40 people liked it but rest assured, 5.000 eyes saw how this happened as you will.
I was very polite… until they started blaming the depressed for their depression and me for speaking against it.

Again, make no mistake! this is war against our hearts
and friends of ours are on the other side.
video above should explain
link will prove!

peace out warriors!

P.S.
i can estimate your age from the info you’ve given but it’s always better to ask
i will not mention who or where, i just care for the great tips you give!
Don’t get me wrong hun, i haven’t seen a better post (and a more caring one) in years that’s all!
you are gifted with a great heart and mind!
this comes froma 38yo man from Greece who has dedicated himself on this issue, and i hope hearing it from me gives you some affirmation of your rare power to care and believe in it even more!
you’re a Hero! and the power is called "empathy"

[lpfan61]

Sorry to hear all you went through…
But that’s the right reaction! You have the power to stand up, to rise up! You have the light inside you! Just let it shine and keep fighting!

[birdy1989]

Omg @achilleas7 you just made me cry… In a good way tho, thank you for your words I need to read it again, and I will check out the video and the link now first. But I just wanted to say thank you

[birdy1989]

@achilleas7

@birdy1989 had to go through all that so she can take a look at how many it is that are also suffering and her heart cannot live free until she feels others surviving it as well

You know, this made me cry at first, cause it’s true but I didn’t really realize it up till now. I do want to see others feel better and being able to be “as happy as they could possibly be”. Because we might not ever be truely happy, we can be as happy as we could be on this day.

@achilleas7

Then, i turned to the one book that talks about it. no other book does.

Which book do you refer to?

I’m 29 years old btw

@achilleas7

you’re a Hero! and the power is called "empathy"

I’m going to write this down for when I’m having a bad day. Thank you @achilleas7

[achilleas7]

I guess this can go to infinity because i’m the one who is thanking you because just like those two girls of 16 and 18, you make my own fight worth and what i went through valuable to someone.
The black suitcase in the video was named “dark black” and was about to explode but did so with discovering her true self instead.

There is no better feeling in the world!
thank you dearly!
I have a high intuition my dear and if i were to tell you all i read in your post, this would be considered a hijacking!

for example… you read like an INFP as well.
As you did on the first post, shedding light of truth on the subject of mistreating depression is the only way to undarken the room, in the same exact manner, knowing ourselves is the key to overcome our own force which unknowingly we turn against us in the form of these voices you describe.
Knowing something is lighting it up, ignorance about it makes it dark and then scary.

so, there’s no advertisement i earn from here when i say that everyone must discover their MBTI type.
it has to do with choosing the career that will make you happy.
the link that is shared at the end of the video above is not the most accurate test
i liked www.personalityhacker.com and AFTER you settle with “how to be honest” on this test
then take www.mypersonality.info which is the one that will give you statistics on the values.
the key is to bring examples from your life, not theorize the answer.
for me, www.16personalities.com is there to help you understand where you lie to yourself.
more accurate results on the other two but it’s easy to fail (because being honest to ourselves is the hardest task) so practice makes perfect!

All this is based upon the work of the greatest mind of psychiatry Carl G Jung.
What i earn from advertising it is feeling i have helped someone out of the mud and then, you get the gratitude of @birdy1989 in a form of a tear that are more valuable to me than diamonds!

so i can’t complain about the new life i have.
the narrative in the video are things that happened and realized after they did, not things i came up with.

playlists 2016 to 2018(and two vids in 2019) have been advertised a lot in here but that too is for the exact same purpose and gain.
i collect diamonds and build an army!
is what i do to stay alive!

you can find them in the yt account
i stop here cause this can go on forever.
look how the video above matches this description in the image.

i want all of you to find the best fitting career and partner and i hope the above are a good start
They are definitely, a great end from my perspective!

feels to me like @birdy1989 is here to help others more than helping herself with getting money off them.
who can judge that? our career-driven society?

You’ll know which book dear
the one that speaks the truth!

[birdy1989]

Okay, I’ve been trying to make myself happy all day, but it’s just not working out and I just told myself that it’s not gonna happen today… I feel alone, I feel off balanced, I feel like no one gives a shit… I’m not in the mood to do anything, I just want to go to bed and stay there untill tomorrow morning. And I definitly don’t want to work tomorrow My demons are telling me I’m worthless and I believe them, tho I don’t want to believe them. I think I need to force myself to go take a walk in the sun, cause I still didn’t do that today. But I just really don’t want to… So I was kinda hoping by writing down what I feel atm, I would feel a little better (like last time), but that’s not working either at this point… I wish I didn’t had this stupid anxiety disorder

[lpfan61]

@birdy1989

I believe them

Don’t!!! You have to believe in yourself!!

Walking in the sun seems a nice idea, nature is calming and relaxing… Go out and take a nice walk! maybe in a park if there is one around you, so you can see the beauty of the trees, flowers…

[anna834]

@birdy1989 in a hurry but:
Wish you the strength of a knight!

Fuck of Demons!
Put on headphones, yell with the music and get out.
Then hold your face high in the sun, put the headphones down, breathe in and out, and just listen to natur.

Just a suggestion.

[anomalia]

Bad thoughts come and go.

I guess you need some more of Brad:

[birdy1989]

@lpfan61 @anna834 @anomalia

Thank you for the nice words and support.
I loved watching that episode again, it made me smile thank you

[birdy1989]

Okay, I decided this afternoon that I should just do it: start a blog My anxiety’s are killing me atm, telling me no one will read this and that no one cares… But I didn’t give a shit and I published it online.

For the people who are interested: https://mrsanxiety.wixsite.com/anxietyblog/post/my-mental-health

I’m going to publish the rest later, I’m going to eat dinner first. So the blog is still a little empty atm, hope it won’t be before I go to sleep tonight.

[lpfan61]

Congrats on the blog! Just do it for yourself too!
Also please keep talking here too… I’m sure it’ll be useful to many people…

[birdy1989]

I just posted 3 stories on the blog. 2 I’ve already told in here. And 1 New story, which was the worst to write but I feel kinda relieved that I’ve told that side of my life too. I just hope no one will make the same mistake I seem to keep on making…
My anxiety’s are killing me atm, so I’m getting offline for a moment, put on some music and do a Sudoku puzzle. Hope it will calm my demons down for a bit.
If you read it, please let me know what you think? I don’t want my blog to trigger something or what ever… Please let me know if you think it will

@lpfan61 thanks for the support

[lpfan61]

I read the 3rd story…
Do you use painkillers for back/neck pain ? It would be better… Also did you see a doctor to check the reason of that pain?
If you feel worst after drug, then don’t do it! You know better than us that is no good and no healthy for you…

[birdy1989]

My physical pain is chronic, just like my mental illness. So unfortunatly I just need to learn to live with it.
And trust me, I know I shouldn’t use drugs sometimes it just seems like the only way to release myself from all the pain… Even if it just is for a couple of hours. But I try not to listen to the demons, they can just be so loud and convincing when the pain is killing me every time (afterwards) I convince myself that it’s fucked up to do and that I shouldn’t do that anymore, but I still believe the demons when they are so loud. I’ll do my best to stay as far away from drugs as possible it only happens like 3 times a year, so I’m going for 1 time this year and 0 next year

[lpfan61]

Sending strenght! You have to convince yourself that you can do it! You can beat the demons and win the whole war!!

[anna834]

Hi @birdy1989
I read your block. I really like your way of story telling.
If writing helps you, please, continue.
But, if the number of viewers and there reaction are the helping part, be sure, it is a new trap.
Please share a link here, everytime you post a new story. So I and we know, there is new stuff.

[birdy1989]

Thanks @anna834
The writing part really helps me somehow. So even if it doesn’t help others, it will still help myself
Thank you for the feedback. If I won’t forget, I’ll post a link in here when I post something on there.

[anomalia]

I’ve read it as well. Good that you are brave enough to discuss it in public. Bleeding the stuff out helps.
Anxieties have a snowball effect. One increases the other and so on. That’s why you are worried about the opinion of your colleagues or employer in case they found out you have anxiety disorder. I think you are aware that you shouldn’t be worried until you do what you are expected to (or even more). You don’t have any badge on your forehead I guess.
I’m wondering what the background of your problem is. Is that something about what happened in your past? (you don’t have to elaborate on that).
Whatever, I’m gonna drop in to find out what’s up.

[justinkilmer]

Feel like I’m a little late to the party here, but I just read your blog. @birdy1989 thank you for sharing your story ! I feel like that right there just shows your strength!
All of us here in your LPU family believe in you! Definitely sending you positive thoughts, you can beat these demons!