Hello! 
I’m Princes from the Philippines I’m 18 years old and i don’t have sibling just me, when i was 9 my cousins influence me to listen songs of Linkin Park and so that I always sing those of their songs in our karaoke because i love their songs especially Numb and In the end just so inlove to that songs till now before instead watching cartoons in Disney channel and cartoon network i used to go to myx just to watch there Music Video and i just feel so relax with my cousins, but the days came to month and months came to years my cousins having there own family and i feel that I’m no longer their baby girl and just so sad feeling so alone and after that my father died and I feel that I’m drowning at the age of 10 I can’t expect that will happened to me there’s a big changed I’m suffering with the feeling of i don’t know, I don’t know what’s happening in myself and what Im feel inside I don’t know that… that is the start of depression when 2017 came and listening all back again one day i’ve seen a news came from youtube and twitter that Chesterbe is dead and i really don’t know what to react i just really want to be alone even if i’m watching the “One more light concert” for celebrating the life of Chester for honoring him, I’m crying so hard and feeling so helpless more feeling of drowning just so alone. look that i’m a mess a big big mess so awful and hurtful all my dreams just wiped out. So sad that i didn’t see him in person even the whole band Brad, Joe, Phoenix,Rob and Mike Before when i was a kid i have a wish and i didn’t told this to anyone because here in the Philippines and in my family We have tradition that if i have a wish just make a wish and just keep it no matter what don’t tell no one just you and yourself wait to be grandted it to you, but now I know it’s impossible to be happen that’s why i will tell this secret from then to now that i wish Linkin Park come in the Philippines to have a concert and meet them personally and hug them tight so they can feel my love to all of them especially Rob because Robert is my love ever since. Rob is different he is a Chest out man hahaha that is one of the reason why i love so much rob and he is so quiet and always looking so brave so damn hot everytime he goes in the stage and playing his drums so damn i wanna give him alots of kiss and hug, wish i could see them all and buy some of there merchandise that they’re selling if i could just turn back the time, 
i know that i will never meet them just only in my dreams. just so much sad.
Well I got drunk on Christmas Eve and I spilled my guts out , let out everything I was going through. And my family just used it as an excuse that I was just a crazy drunk and to never do it again. So I cut ties with some of them, aka disowned them. I don’t need their negativity in my life anymore. Other than that I’ve been ok, got to play the VIP anthem this weekend for my birthday,it was awesome.
Hellooo!! 
You did well cutting ties with people who judge you and don’t understand you… 
Nice you’re doing well! 
Good to hear from you again.
This! Very wise decision
I hope you had a nice birthday
To say that I’m struggling with Chester’s death or that I keep mourning him would be an overstatment. I guess ‘struggling’ and ‘mourning’ are reserved for his family and his closest friends. How could I compare myself with them? I probably would never meet him, even if he was alive now. I’m not the person with one more chair in my kitchen after he died.
I don’t mean I don’t care. I’m just trying to say that the family lost their father and husband and I didn’t lose one of my favorite artists. To me he still exists in his music, in the whole taped evidence of his life (interviews, concerts, charity events and so on). Anytime I want I can google him and he’s there.
Off course, I feel sorry for him as for any person who dies untimely. And I’m upset cause I can’t find good reason for why he had to die. Probably there were no other than depression (brain chemistry), empty house (occassion) and alcohol (anesthetic). I can’t believe that Chris Cornell’s death was the reason or the main reason. To follow his friend instead of staying alive for his twin girls (other kids, wife, friends, band mates, let alone fans)? 
I’ve been trying to investigate into the essence of depression. I’ve been trying to look for clues if anything had seemed to be wrong with Chester before the July, 20th. I’ve watched a bunch of last interviews, funnies and concerts. The interviews - he’s always happy, witty, enthusiastic, if the talks of depression always uses a past tense, seems he knows how to deal with it. The concerts - ‘One More Light’’‘Crawling’ among is fans - is that the last good-bye or just the performance that needs concentration and seriousness?
By the way, his story reminds me somehow of the novel ‘A Little Life’. The protagonist - of many talents, successful in life and loved by everyone around as an adult sexually abused as a child.
He can’t stop cutting his forearmes all his life which lets him relieve his pain and forget the shame he constantly lives in. Guess where it leads him….
I myself have never been diagnosed with any depression. Probably only because I have never look for any profesional help. I would say that I fully understand what Chester meant having talked about the bad neighbourhood in his head as I expericenced mine. To those who suffer from any depressive disorder I’d like to say the following: your life may no meaning to you but you may be the whole world for the other people. Recall your parents, your kids, your partner…There must be someone dear who you wouldn’t intend to hurt. So think of them, be responsible for them - they don’t wanna see you dead, they don’t deserve it. Live for them.
Amen.
EDIT: I’d like to add also that alcohol and drugs are not a good solution when you feel down. They let you ease your pain for a moment. If you realize that your depression is about the balance of substances in your brain you will know that drugs and alcohol may change your brain chemistry for even worse than it is know. Which means as a result you will feel more pain. The same with a suicide. Instead of relieving your pain you may end up on wheelchair or keep living like a vegetable if your attempt is not effective.
I’m always thinking about Chester. I feel like I’m with him in my hard times. Even if it isn’t, feeling that way connects me to life. That’s how it is for you, dear friend, to try to feel near her. Sometimes when I do something good, I dedicate this to the angel. I say I did for Angel Chester. Sometimes I’m talking to Chester next to me, and that’s what I’m saying for you. You should do that. I hope you keep on living, otherwise you’il break our hearts. Hope to meet you at a time of the day…
I can relate to what you’re saying. It’s probably hard for you to realize this, but from the things that I have lived through, I discovered that it WAS NOT ME that was the problem. I was the scapegoat
Problems in my family started before my parents were born!
My grandmother’s disliked each other from the time that they were growing up. When my parents started dating in high school, the trouble started then. When I was born, I became the lucky reciprocate of the hostility that had been building between various members of both families. Since I was a child, they all seemed to think that it was fine to say/do whatever to me. When I would speak up & say that whatever hurt my feelings, I was never taken seriously & always told that I was too sensitive. I can tell you many stories, but that is not the point.
What I have only recently discovered is that due to the way I was treated growing up, I believe I became Co-Dependent ( It has some new fancy name now ). Growing up I always felt like I wasn’t really loved/wanted by my family.
I have also discovered that many of the people that were involved in my early years & the type of men that I ended up in serious relationships with turned out to be Narcissists! People like me that are so desperate to be loved, are exactly what people like that are drawn to. They are the Predators & we’re the Prey.
Perfect example is how your boyfriend treated you. He knows that you don’t like to be called a B!tch, correct? And I would bet that’s EXACTLY why he called you that. It used to bother me when people called me that. But then I turned the tables on them! When they called me that, I would say “That’s right I AM!!! Don’t mess with me or you will find out how miserable I can make you…”. They would usually mumble something & just leave me alone.
On YouTube, check out: Michele Lee Nieves Coaching videos. She does lots on dealing with Narcissists & getting help dealing with things. This might not be your problem, but the things she talks about may still benefit you in dealing with people that are mean/bully you, make you feel bad about yourself.
Best of luck & always remember that LPU is here for you & stay strong!!!
Way to Go!!! I know that it’s really hard to cut * so-called * family members out of our lives, but when they are TOXIC people, it’s the ONLY WAY for you to survive. I have been there, done that & had many more people criticizing me for what I did. Like someone else stated “they don’t know what we’re going through unless they walked in our shoes”.
I have been through many bad things also. Many of the emotions that you have experienced in your life, I have also been through them. Many people have tried to * break * my spirit, as if I’m a wild horse they’re trying to break. Even as a little kid, I stood up to them & would not back down. Al of the crap that they put me through has taken a toll, BUT…I’M STILL STANDING & they haven’t broken me yet.
I have a feeling that you are stuck in the way you feel now because it has been going on for so long. Compare your brain to a vinyl record when the needle gets stuck in the groove & it keeps playing the same thing over & over. It’s hard to break out of that, I know.
I tried to get some of the people to realize what their actions when I was growing up caused as far as how I view/deal with things in life. No one would ever admit/show regret for what they did & how it affected me. That made me even angrier. I’m working on finding other ways to cope/deal with it.
Does anythiing that I said make sense to you? Maybe, hopefully, it will give you or someone else on here some insight into what might help you to break free from all of the crap that goes through your head. For me, it’s like I’m stuck watching movies of myself at whatever age I was & going through the bad stuff, seeing myself & how I reacted as family members screamed terrible things at me. I haven’t solved that problem yet, but I’m working on it. Let me know if you find a way to break the cycle.
PLEASE always remember that we are here for you!!! Don’t let them beat you!!!
I still found it. Hard i think about Chester all the time. I am going through a lot more of depression lately and thing are not getting better for me and i what to end it all. I can’t deal with this at all
Hey @hilaryfol stay strong! Just a hug from me!
Hay @redrebel quite an entrance!
Welcome to this astonishing unique great place!
Sometimes things don’t work out, but what is important is how to stand up to it. That’s what makes us who we are. Stay strong soldier
Hey yall I’m back, it been a real tough couple of months. I’m sorry I haven’t replied or responded. But just let yall know I’m ok.
Helloooo!!! I’m really happy to see you here and to hear you’re doing fine! 
Welcome back!! 
Hey man! Good to hear from you!
I understand you. Ive been going to some thought time to. And every day I’m thinking to kill myself. Some days it’s going good and some day’s very bad. It depends on how my mind is doing.
Ive learn to make things better is to write things down on paper of laptop (whatever you can write things down) and to set goals for yourself. Something to work for. It can be small things of big things. For me know is finding the right job. I haven’t been happy with my job for a while and I want to change things. It doesn’t happen to easley but I’ve started with something small and now (almost 6 months later) i see the end line of my goal.
If you receive the goal it makes you a little happier. Specially when you doing it by yourself. You are much stronger then you think.
And when life sucks. Try to learn from it. I always say : the things you do bad/good way… it makes you wiser. You always learn. Learn how to do it better, or learn how to continue like you done it (do you understand this?)
Don’t give up to easy. Give your wounds time to heal. For some people it takes days, maybe weeks for other people maybe years.
I still struggle with Chester’s death. Still can’t believe and accept it. Every day i think of him. And every day i say to myself… i don’t want to end like that. I want to fight my demons and I’m ready to fight.
I had a very tough weekend. Mentally and physically… i took some time off, from internet and social media, but also friends, just to work on myself. See if I was strong enough to face it on my own. And I did it. Still need to take it slow, but Im getting little better then I was in the weekend.
Take good care , we are here to talk. Never think that you do not matter, because you DO matter!!!
What I’m just trying to say is : life is hard. And there is no life guide book. Because all of our lifes are different. The things that help me , won’t help you or the other way around.
Find things to make you happy, like music or movie/series or maybe just a walk.
If you find happiness in those things , life will get easier. And yeah sometimes life doesn’t make sense. But it doesn’t mean that life is playing with you, it wants to tell you something. Just sometimes it takes time to understand what it is that life is trying to tell you.
And I think ( and I was hard for me to do it, but i did it) is to accept things go the way is goes. Sometimes you don’t want things to go that way, or you don’t want people to say those things, but maybe after a time you understand it and you learned from it. You need to accept it, if you do you can let it go and it makes it easier for you to go on. 
I hope this helps a little.
makes me super happy to hear you speak bro
those little goals, setting importance in what you do no matter hwo little-its all i’d say
and mm…truthfully trying to say something positive here- dont put chester on a pedestal or see him as a special circumstance =] when you meet artists and people in general-the biggest compliment is to treat them as just another human, another good being emulate being a good man but besides that, chester is another human who had faults and difficulties like you or myself whatever he did or didnt do will not define or play a role in what YOU decide to do
this!
super awesome couple posts @drounzer 
Hahah thanks man
They are just that. A another human. Like everyone else. Everyone has his/her problems. Stand your ground and fight them, and stay positive @silvallor1825.