I’m still at step 4…but I love all Linkin Park bandmates so I’m waiting for their decision for the future…then maybe I can go further…hope they don’t stop!
@verest1864 i don’t know, i feel like we let him down, not loved him enough, that what he said in his lasts interviews wasn’t understood by the others, sometimes i ask myself how could they let him alone on THAT night knowing he was battleling with his demons hardly lately and talking about it almost in every last interview he gaves, and after telling me i remember what other thinks he seems so happy they couldn’t see it coming. But that’s the problem with depression we keep everything, acting normal until the day it gets out, i know that because i’m like that too since i can remember and i know by experience that no one can imagine how hard and painful it’s to go on with all this destroying thoughts every hour of every day, like he said we did this to ourselves and really need to go out off ours heads, he was so smart. I just hope that his familly and the band didn’t blame themselves, it’s so hard enough like that… We love you !!!
Feel the same…hope they find a way to smile again…
As i got the news, i was on stage 4 for 5 mins then completely stage 7…
I think I’m in the middle of stage 4 and 5. I am definitely still depressed and I still feel lonely, but my life is getting back to normal. I haven’t even just sat and watched television in a week (I usually do that daily), but I was too upset to do even that. I was able to start watching tv again today and thinking of things other than Chester and the guys. I sometimes bounce back to stage 2 and feel terrible that I had a moment where I wasn’t thinking of him, but I know this is normal. It will get better…I just never want to forget him. If I’m thinking about him, he’s alive within me…that’s why I haven’t wanted to do or think of anything else.
Ok, maybe anger’s what’s helping me, but seriously you don’t understand what’s going on for me right now. You see, the people around me are the most unhelpful bunch imaginable. I’m still reeling over the words my father last said to me about being prepared to die. (Thanks for helping to push me towards the cliff’s edge, dad) Seems out of context here, so I’ll put it into context that he said other unhelpful and insulting stuff beforehand. And he still has the audacity to complain that I keep ignoring him. Cuz if I really absorbed it in for all these years, I would’ve died years ago.
@theearlywalker did commented that my family environment is very toxic and should be avoided whenever possible.
(Hopefully discourse app won’t crash again, been rewriting for the third time)
Sh*t happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, it’s completely irrational to get held up on it. Being upset is normal but there are limits. My exact words when I got the news were “Shame. RIP” .
I keep jumping between 2,4 and 6. Depends which mood swing I’m in.
I’m sorry to hear about that, man. We’re all here for you if you need to vent, but I REALLY WISH you would just VENT instead of reposting some of the horrible s*** people are saying/doing in regards to Chester’s death.
I dont know why but feels like I want to like it more than once… Nice…
First it was 1, 2 and 4 for three days, without guilt, but lots of crying.
Now I think I am similar as you. I think I’m jumping somewhere between 5-7. I realized, that he and his music will always be there for me, no matter what. And he’s always watching from the rock heaven.
But I’m still occasionally jumping to 4, mainly yesterday when I read about the funeral, it was so sad. But listening to LP helps, as always, it’s a cure for everything
Also this forum helps and attending the memorial in Košice was so calming. I felt the love from our community and it helped me.
7 generally but 4 when I hear some of LP songs
Stuck between 1 and 4…
I knew it would hurt me but i never thought it would be this bad…
I am at Stage 2. Got a long way to go, and a long memory.
But we have our "battle symphony"that help us to be strong and be brave…
To be honest, I get through these steps every day and I’m still kinda in denial… I’m just trying not to think about it and I watch old videos all the time and think ‘wow he was such a great guy’ and all but I also laugh because all the stuff is so funny and it makes me feel better, so I’m kinda at 7th step right now. I think I’m okay with it now because we have so many good memories of him, and like for some times he really was (or at least looked) happy and like enjoyed his life and what he’s done through his whole life like I think he was satisfied with his choices at some point and this is what really matters for me now so yeah this is long ass reply but yeah just wanted to say all of this may he rest in peace. (But I still can’t listen to One More Light without crying)
I’m still somewhere between 2 and 4, for the most part. I came across this article about mourning and grief on the internet, and it’s so accurate: How Social Media Expands the Space Between Mourning and Grief - The Atlantic
"…there’s an important distinction between mourning, a behavior, and grief, an internal emotional experience. Social media may have opened space for public mourning, but etiquette for ensuring that outpouring supports the bereaved (or at the very least doesn’t make their situation more painful) has yet to develop.
Social media has increased the speed and ease of communication to an unprecedented degree, and yet sites like Facebook and Twitter are poorly suited to grief’s strangeness. By design, social media demands tidy conclusions, and dilutes tragedy so that it’s comprehensible even to those only distantly aware of what has happened. The majority of Facebook posts mourning Lauren’s death were full of “silver linings” comments that were so far removed from the horror of the reality that I found them isolating and offensive. Implicit in claims that Lauren was no longer suffering, or that “everything happens for a reason” are redemptive clauses—ones that have a silencing effect on those who find no value in their pain.
Grief responses… tend to take place behind closed doors, in the early hours after another sleepless night, or hidden away in the minds of bodies that appear, for the most part, to be doing well, considering. The inner world of a grieving person is essentially other."
For whatever reason, I’ve found that it’s easy to mourn on the Internet, but difficult to grieve. We have this norm of putting on a brave face and wanting to seem farther along than we are. Real pain makes people uncomfortable.
So I’ve found it truly depressing that grieving for Chester in a semi-public environment has felt so lonely, like being at some sort of crazy masquerade funeral. And it’s ironic, because Chester himself was so open about his pain, and the way he expressed himself was so raw and genuine that you felt like you really knew him. That’s what I want to honor about him. Because he wore his heart on his sleeve, we felt less alone, and we should endeavor to be so brave.
Went through almost all stages rather fast…
Think I am kinda in between Stage 1 and 2…
These 7 stages of grief is designed for all of us. To show that no matter how difficult it might be for you right now, just wait, try doing your best at getting yourself through it, and with time you will get to step 6, and beyond. Even if it might seem to you like a roller coaster, where you find yourself jumping back and forth within those 7 steps. PLEASE just wait it out, the hardness of it all will pass. PLEASE don’t give in to it, because you’re stronger than you think.