Which stage of grief?

We Love You Chester
#1

The 7 stages of grieving are:

  1. Shock and denial
  2. Pain and guilt
  3. Anger and bargaining
  4. Depression, reflection and lonliness
  5. The upward turn
  6. Reconstruction and working through
  7. Acceptance and hope

Where are you right now? I think I’m at step 5: the upward turn. It’s so interesting how people grieve so differently. I’ve witnessed this process only take a day or two for some people; they’re already feeling acceptance and hope, but some people are still feeling shock and denial a week later. It’s all valid. :heart:

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Chester July 20th 2017
#2

I just went to stage 7 almost immediately after I got the news. I might have lingered at stage 3 for about 10 secs but that’s about it.

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#3

1,2 and 4 at the same time since i read the news, anger against us 10sec by day, it’s like a spiral :sob:

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#4

I’m stuck on 3 and 4 mostly. Kinda difficult to get out of :confused:

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#5

I feel like I’ve been stuck at 4 for the last few days. I think I went from 2 to 4 pretty quickly though. I haven’t felt much anger, just profound sadness.

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#6

It is kinda difficult to get out of. I guess I just started to realise how much he’s given us and I came to appreciate the fact that he just couldn’t give us any more. Now my heart just goes out to his family and to Linkin Park. The didn’t lose an idol; they lost a husband, a father and a brother/close friend. Their loss is far greater than ours. I’m so grateful to him and I’m glad that his soul is at rest. I’m in awe of the legacy he left. Look at what we, as his fan base, have achieved this last week. It’s incredible. There are so many positives, once the sadness starts to lift, and it will lift. x

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#7

It was the same for me. I did feel a little bit of anger at one point though, at the demons in his mind and at the world for being so self-absorbed.

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#8

Could you explain what you mean when you say “anger against us?” I’m not sure what you meant.

#9

Some people, like yourself, are genuinely capable of just understanding the fact of what happened. My best friend would be the same way. He’s very logical and not very emotional, so even if he was a huge fan, his response would be “Ok.”

#10

Im still stuck in shock, denial, bargaining, pain, depression, lonliness- so 1-4. I dont get angry unless people jump down my throat when I say he was too happy to have done this and they accuse me of being a conspiracy theorist. Im not. I just got all his tweets pushed to my phone and saw how happy he was. So I still feel like Im living in a nightmare, like it cant be real. It hurts so bad and makes no sense.

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#11

Step 7. Sometimes 4.

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#12

Hopefully time will help ease this pain, I completely understand as I seem to be on a loop between 1 to 4 as well. It is just too sad x

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#13

7
I was everywhere 1-4, back and forth, but it started to sink in and i shouldn’t undo what the band and Chester has given me, US. I still have the rest of the band, I don’t want to dwell until it is too late for me to appreciate the others. Going to a tribute/memorial made me realise how beautiful people can be, what a great LP community.The whole thing gave me some form of closure that I was seeking for. And I remain hopeful for the band.

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#14

On a loop of one and two… Sometimes I feel okay and at peace but it goes away really fast

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#15

I’m still at step 4…but I love all Linkin Park bandmates so I’m waiting for their decision for the future…then maybe I can go further…hope they don’t stop!

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#16

@verest1864 i don’t know, i feel like we let him down, not loved him enough, that what he said in his lasts interviews wasn’t understood by the others, sometimes i ask myself how could they let him alone on THAT night knowing he was battleling with his demons hardly lately and talking about it almost in every last interview he gaves, and after telling me i remember what other thinks he seems so happy they couldn’t see it coming. But that’s the problem with depression we keep everything, acting normal until the day it gets out, i know that because i’m like that too since i can remember and i know by experience that no one can imagine how hard and painful it’s to go on with all this destroying thoughts every hour of every day, like he said we did this to ourselves and really need to go out off ours heads, he was so smart. I just hope that his familly and the band didn’t blame themselves, it’s so hard enough like that… We love you !!! :two_hearts:

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#17

Feel the same…hope they find a way to smile again…:pensive: :heart:

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#18

As i got the news, i was on stage 4 for 5 mins then completely stage 7…

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#19

I think I’m in the middle of stage 4 and 5. I am definitely still depressed and I still feel lonely, but my life is getting back to normal. I haven’t even just sat and watched television in a week (I usually do that daily), but I was too upset to do even that. I was able to start watching tv again today and thinking of things other than Chester and the guys. I sometimes bounce back to stage 2 and feel terrible that I had a moment where I wasn’t thinking of him, but I know this is normal. It will get better…I just never want to forget him. If I’m thinking about him, he’s alive within me…that’s why I haven’t wanted to do or think of anything else. :confused:

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#20

Ok, maybe anger’s what’s helping me, but seriously you don’t understand what’s going on for me right now. You see, the people around me are the most unhelpful bunch imaginable. I’m still reeling over the words my father last said to me about being prepared to die. (Thanks for helping to push me towards the cliff’s edge, dad) Seems out of context here, so I’ll put it into context that he said other unhelpful and insulting stuff beforehand. And he still has the audacity to complain that I keep ignoring him. Cuz if I really absorbed it in for all these years, I would’ve died years ago.
@theearlywalker did commented that my family environment is very toxic and should be avoided whenever possible.

(Hopefully discourse app won’t crash again, been rewriting for the third time)

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