What Happened To Me Made Me Realise The Frailty Of Life

#1

(The content of this post is important enough to warrant it’s own topic, but I didn’t want a title that frightens or triggers ppl, you’ll see what I mean when you read the following text.)

Yesterday morning, just before 1000 CET, I was sitting on my office chair when suddenly, I felt that I had a strong pain in my chest, it was unlike heartburn, it was stronger than any pain in the chest area that I ever had. I then moved my hands to my chest in an attempt to soothe the pain in my chest, but once I did that, I felt like my hands were locked in placed, couldn’t move them anymore, so my body seemed to be pinned between my hands and the chair. With my body felt like it was pinned down, it got increasingly difficult to breathe, I tried very hard to call for help, but barely any sound could get out. The only response I got was a confused “huh?” from a female colleague, and upon hearing just a “huh?” I felt defeated, like nobody is gonna save me now.
After what felt like a long while, I heard lots of frantic footsteps and I swear I felt my shirt lifted up, but when I looked down (only my eyeballs rotated downward, I couldn’t move my head), my shirt still appeared untouched to my eyes. I was like, is this the end? Have my eyes stopped working? Are my eyes dying? Is my brain dying? Am I dying? Is this how I go, just like that? It was at this point when I realised just how unwilling I was to die.
This went on a bit longer, with me fearing the worst, and the next thing I knew (dunno, my eyes were mainly looking diagonally upwards towards the ceiling the entire time, or so I thought), the ordeal was over. I found myself lying down on the floor with my hands in a lower position than previously, and my shirt was indeed opened. They explained to me what happened earlier, the heart attack, and that they opened my shirt for the CPR and AED. Yes, it’s still hard to believe (I’m still shaken by it), but my family has a history of heart attacks. My grandfather passed away from a heart attack when he was in his 50s, and about a decade ago (I told Pat this), my father was hospitalised due to a heart attack as well, with one of his arteries clogged. Obviously after that I had to go to the hospital as a precaution for observation, and they took my recent injury into account (Pat can tell u about my recent injury). (Yup I’ve to take several medicines as prophylatics etc.) My father says that nowadays many ppl are getting ill younger, cancers and heart problems etc in their 30s. It’s very difficult to write all of this down, not only because I’m still shaken by what happened (I had to take quite a number of breathers to write this whole thing), but because there are a lot of interruptions here, least to say I hate the lack of privacy here in the hospital.
Referring back to the title of this topic, I now see everything in a different light now, even though I know the things around me haven’t actually changed. I don’t want to get philosophical here, but it’s hard to explain, cuz only those who’d been through something similar would truly understand, hope u get the gist. (Yup I wrote all of this in a notepad app before pasting here, it took me a long time to draft).

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Linkin Park Forum Clean-Up Crew
#2

:cold_sweat: Omg!! I have no words now… Just do whatever you have to do to get well and prevent you from future attacks!! Sending strenght yourside!! :muscle: :heart: :heart: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

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#3

Sorry to hear this
Sending you strength. @samuel_the_leader :muscle:t2::heart::muscle:t2::heart::muscle:t2::heart::muscle:t2::heart::muscle:t2::heart::muscle:t2::heart::muscle:t2::heart:

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#4

Omg Sam… that’s so horrible and I’m only happy that you are alive :hugs::hugs: please check your discord pm

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#5

Fuck, man, I don’t even know what to say. Glad you’re still here. Stay strong.

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#6

My English is too bad to understand everything, but I think I understood the most important: You can celebrate your second birthday :partying_face:

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#7

That’s Just terrible! Glad you are still around. Hang in there and hope you’ll feel better soon.
It is indeed not unusual for people who’ve had a some sort of life threatening situation, to look at life from a different point of view, in a different light. Life is indeed precious.

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#8

That’s horrible! I hope you feel better soon! Glad you’re still here :slight_smile:

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#9

So sorry to hear that Samuel! I hope you won’t experience such terrible thing again. Stay strong and healthy!

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#10

Take good care and stay strong. And let us know what is going on.

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#11

Woah. Glad you’re still here. I hope you feel better soon and never experience that again.

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#12

:sob::sob::sob: Glad to see you’re safe now…
Get well soon!

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#13

Holy hell dude! :cold_sweat: the way you describes everything made me dizzy just imagining going through it! I’m sorry this happened to you! We don’t talk much but knowing how much people here care about you makes me incredibly happy to know that you’re okay and made it through! I hope that the curtain that was lifted on your perception of life brings you more fullfillment in your life and that you’re able to cherish every moment you get!! :muscle:t3::+1:t3:

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#14

omg, just keep yourself together :hugs: and defeat it :facepunch: and also, you better get better soon :raised_hands::kissing_heart::hugs::hearts::hearts::heart:

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#15

Omg​:scream::scream: glad you’re still here with us!! Im sending you all…the hugs and strength to get better. I hope this was your first and last heart attack… :kissing_heart: get well soon

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#16

Glad to hear that you’re safe! Keep yourself together and please get better soon!! :heart_eyes::heart_eyes::heart_eyes::pray::pray::pray:

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#17

Wow a heart attack at your age that’s some serious stuff hope you feel better and be careful glad to hear your ok

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#18

Thanks for all the well wishes, in fact when I posted this I also did fear for how you guys would react to this (as you can see from the bracketed sentence before my post), because I do know that this is indeed a piece of heartbreaking news. :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

Yes, in fact my next birthday is just round the corner, on Feb 11 (same birthday as Mike) :slight_smile::slight_smile::slight_smile:

Yes, some ppl say that when we are dying, we have flashbacks etc, but I was too unprepared and unwilling to die, also I was still too shocked, that’s why my mind didn’t wander there but remained focussed on the present; I guess this unwillingness to die (fighting spirit to survive) is what made me able to survive.

Yes, I already mentioned my family history of heart attacks, but it seems to get worse with each generation. :sweat:

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#19

I’m so happy you’re here!!! Wanted to ask how are you,but didn’t want to stress you in any way, so patiently waited for you to come here… :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :heart: :hugs: :heart: :sun_with_face:

Yes! It’s NOT your moment to go! :heart: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

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#20

That is so awful. I am so sorry you had to go through this. I am glad you are still with us and that you had the righting spirit. I hope you never have to go through something like that again and that you have a speedy recovery

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