Sorry… No, Soldier! Keep on fighting!

I guess being the only one who “dared” to disagree got his attention :grin:

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Good to hear your doing better

Take the time you need and take each step one at time

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Hey, I know this happened a while ago, but I’d like to know if you’re feeling better, we’re here for you for everything :heart: :heart: :heart:

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Update…
The war of my body against itself is full on and It’s losing…
The phrase “erase myself” is becoming very attractive again… Need all my mental energy to ban out the easy way.
Don’t be mad if one day this account should become obsolete…

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Sending you much strength! I’m sure you have the power to overcome this, as you have proven before. Take a deep breath and try to take it easy for now. And remember, we are here to support you :slight_smile:

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No no no!!! That’s not the right way to overcome this big difficulty… yes, it’s a heavy one, but you have the power to go on and always our support and love! :heart: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

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Yes I liked your post not because I like it’s content but to tag you with love dear @Fravaco we love you, just be aware that we all are very worried to hear how desperate you feel right now.

Please stay in trust, don’t stop believing and don’t give up, it’s worth to fight - the ones that love you are worth that you fight and - most important- you are worth to survive- and you can only survive if you mentally want it.

Please believe in surviving and don’t give up- because your psych has a massive impact - especially in cases of autoimmune diseases. So… you know how it works bro- I don’t have to explain this to you and if you want to talk, We’re only just a message away… always remember this :muscle:t2::hugs:

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Oh, @Fravaco


Struggling here with the right words.
@theearlywalker nailed it! :kissing_heart:
What’s there to say more?
Lots of selfish things, we would so miss you!
And you are needed!
Stay and keep up fighting!
Please!
:heart:

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It’s tough times @Fravaco
The toughest ones in fact…

But if you had proof that Somebody up there is in absolute control
wouldn’t that say that He knew the right time to bring you about?
any chance He trusts your skills more than you do?
(no need to debate this here, it was an “if” i want you to consider inside your trains of thoughts)
I woke up in the fight against depression, which i consider to be the queen reigning our earth these times,
when someone real close to me took his life.
I can never be mad at him, but he didn’t know at the time, he’d take my life with him as well.

In your case, i can be mad
only because i had the chance to inform you about the collateral damage to people that love you
Keeping you around is healing me for not having this chance before as i too was lost in my own dark when it happened!

So, relax my friend, it’s as bad as it can get, it ain’t you.
I tend to absorb what i see outside and i completely understand the isolation and personal pain we’re all going through because it takes hold in me just by seeing it.

This world will look even worse to my eyes if i lose another warrior like you!
hang in there with me, i am not saying it’s easy, but it is easier for me when i see people slapping and kicking their depression back where it belongs. (under their feet)
And if i had any part in that, i find reasons to be!
So, just asking u to consider me if not you!

Taking our “free will” to that level is a little selfish, is it not?
i hope this personal msg helped to show the perspective of those left behind.
10 minutes ago i was telling my dog he’s all i have.
Now i feel much better because i was given the opportunity to maybe help someone else.
It’s the greatest healer!
can’t get yourself out the mud, pull someone else first!
(enduro lesson, video: “What May[2018] bring” and uumm… “unearthed[2019]”
(my videos post-2016 are all about darkness)
i can’t be advertising much, i’ll end up banned :stuck_out_tongue::blush:

:muscle::muscle::muscle:

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Sending you good vibes, you can win, seek help you’re not weak

We believe in you :heart:

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Heeey yoooo ?!! We think about you- hope you’re a bit better?!

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Hmmm… :flushed::sweat:

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@Fravaco !!! :hugs: :hugs: :heart: :heart:

Please, tell, if you up to it.

Since I created this topic, it’s only fair that I keep updating here instead of in other topics.
So, today I spent the day in the couch again. Sick and in pain. Tomorrow is surgery day and it won’t be a day too early. I must say, in contrary to the previous one, I am a little scared and worried now. Not that it could go wrong; I’m not afraid of dying, it’s a natural process as any other.
I’m afraid that this time the whole thing will again not work and that within 6 months I’ll be going through the whole bullshit again. I don’t want to spend the rest of my life going to hospitals and through surgeries. If that would be the case, i’d probably say “enough”. That’s no life. (Luckily, here in Belgium, there’s a little thing called euthanasia.)
But, we’re not at that point yet.
I wanted to ask you all a favor. The surgery is planned for tomorrow, wednesday, 09h20 CET.
This may sound a little bit childish, but, could you play a (particular) song for me around that time?
LP’s “A Line in the Sand”…
This is not my most favorite song, but it’s the one I’ve been pulling my strength out these last few weeks. So, if you happen to think of it, and you’re able and willing, play it, just once… Even though I will never know, the thought of that song being played, on that moment would mean a lot to me.

Sorry, this turned out longer than I intended. Just wanted to get this of my chest :heart:

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Suuure!! I’ll save it on my phone so I could play it while working!! I’ll find a way but I’ll do for sure! Maybe I can’t play it much loud, but my thoughts will be all for you! :blush: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: Good luck on the surgery! Sending strenght, good vibes and looooooots of hugs!!! :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: :heart: :heart:

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If I start my work 15 mins earlier than I normally do I can play it right at that time. We’re with you :hugs:

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Clock is programmed, 17,5 hours.
Dear @Fravaco I am happy to hear that this tomorrow isn’t live threatening. I didn’t know how to ask.
You will get through this!
We, I am here for you!
And you will get better.
You have plans, remember.
I so hope that you find inner peace and clarity for your future decisions!
And on a lighter note, you promised to read my book, and I sure won’t let you of the hook!

Please, keep us updated!
Love, peace, strength to you!

Don’t forget the glow worm
:heart:

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Of course I will!!! I don’t know why I started looking around in the app and started reading all the posts of this topic. Now I like to think I was guided somehow to here. I’m glad I know the time now. I will think even more intense about you at this time as I do anyway a lot. I’m with you and I’m always at your side. Send you best wishes, a lot of strength and I hold you safe in my heart. I’m optimistic about it, with all the support there is no other way possible. We all are together with you, no matter what. Please keep us updated if you can, but don’t feel forced to anything. Take the time you need. I’m looking forward to hear from you! Take care my lovely family member! :kissing_heart::hugs::bouquet::revolving_hearts:

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Thank you @anna834 @lpfan61 @linkinisa @evowarrior5
The surgery at itself isn’t life threatening. But my body is. I’ll try to explain.
Due to the Guillain Barrée Syndrome that I have, my nervous system is totally out of balance. I get ticks, for instance, my leg can all of the sudden starting to shake without any reason. I am used to these.
But since 3 years my nervs around my arteries have start to show the same spasms. So this causes my arteriess to pull thight. Especially those around my intestines are affected. This can potentially cause an infarct, similar to a heart attack. So, basically, I’m living with a time bomb inside of me. This, I have to learn to live with.
Now I come to the point. Because of the subtraction of the arteries, surgery is very difficult. The first time, they had to urgently stop the surgery because all my arteries pulled flat, no blood was getting through anymore.
The second one was a success but because of the spasms in the arteries, scarf tissue has formed which blocks them again.
Meanwhile, the arteries by my heart and in my legs are beginning to show the same symptons…
So, I’m not sure if this will ever get solved.
The Guillain Barrée is bad enough but livable. But this… I don’t know. I fear a bit for the future…

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:heart:
I just hug you!

And thank you!

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