Hahahahah, we just like you being here( is that okay 
)
Hahaha good to know 
Good to hear. My day was good to. Spend some time with friends. Its was nice to see them again and we barbecue together, I smell bad right now 
i can smell the smoke on my clothes 
Watching some tv now. Hope i sleep good tonight and hope that the demons won’t talk tonight in my head 
Good evening you 2 
Point taken 
Sounds good!
Tell the to fuck off!
Or come here and talk some. 
To you too 
I was/am in the same boat. I found that writing helps. I also decided to speak openly about my issues to people who matter, or at least that’s what I thought. Be open, be honest, it’s no shame in that. I will be honest all the way: I never got rid of moments of severe depression with dark clouds above me, but talking, writing, being yourself helps. I am here to talk if you want.
Thanks man. yeah talking and writing it down helps me to. But still some days are good and some days bad. Today i woke up with a nasty feeling about it. I kind of flipped against my dad. Didn’t know why. I apologize to him later on, but still my mind is playing with me today… 
How are you @frank.anton ? 
Look, in my experience, there is always a reason behind this. I mean beside the fact that depression is a state that will always be there in the mind of someone. I’ve been like this all my life. But as I grew (I am 41 now), I tried to analyze everything in detail, and I managed to improve things in my life as much as possible. Bad relationships were one thing, so I got out of them and focused on relationships with people who understood me as I was, who didn’t want to change me. Drugs and alcohol just amplified the depression. So does stress. Sports, especially endurance training (long distance running and cycling) are fantastic! Try them! 
Plus they say that things improve after 40 in case of depression, so maybe I feel better not because I divorced and found a great partner afterwards, but because I am over 40.
Oh wauw thanks for sharing.
For me i know what made me trigger the feeling of flipping to my father know. I was tired and didn’t feel very good… got some physical problems. I’m seeing a physiologist to help me. But the problems are coming back. So i was tired of feeling the same pain. 
I don’t use drugs and drink a little. And i only have friendships with people i know for many years and i can trust. They have been very supportive through everything with me.
Well it will take some time before I’m 40 years… 
Hey @drounzer don’t beat yourself up about it.
It just happens. Not necessary to turn on the blaming and mind carousel afterwards.
To already see, way it happens is so great!
I know how hard it is, to listen to your self and say beforehand, this now is to much, my need is now different.
Take a hug!
Don’t count on this 
And thank you @frank.anton for sharing
I know what you mean sweetie don’t worry. I hope to stick around for a while 
I saw my little niece today, she was so happy to see me. Climbing on me. Laughing a lot to me. I needed it. To cheer me up and make me feel better
Oh! So great!
I’m with my cousins right now. They are the same age as my kids. And it’s just awesome! Lots of fun and watching them fight with their dad, hilarious!
I don’t know either if it gets better after 40. I might feel better because I fill my time with sports, reading, writing, music, and took out alcohol and spending time with people who just try to change me. What I meant when I said that there is always something behind our depression is not that it’s a person, but something stupid in a normal situation. Or that something is lacking like a little niece.
I have the same feeling and today i listened (from months) some song from One More Light, Post Traumatic and Mall OST (Hahn’s directed film)… There’s no cure and that feeling you can replace with other, i know it’s difficult but if you continue like this you won’t be able to go on.
Try to listen less linkin park song (only for try to not remember and fall again), just 2-3 songs and last but not least “be happy” cause Chester didn’t want to see his fans crying or have a bad humor 
@Droms Hey man. I listen to Linkin Park every day, currently listening to the MTM album. I just have a hard time watching live concerts, specially from 2010 - 2017. Most of the tours they did, i was there. And the OML Live album was recorded in Amsterdam , i was there. That album has a lot of memories. And it was exactly 1 month before Chester’s passing.
Hey @drounzer . Now i restarting to listen some song like Pushing me away made in Reanimation and today with Mike last song ‘Fine’ let me take at that moment and also Post Traumatic was the same. I dont know how you listen for example OML and dont start to crying; i always believed that album talk about Chester’s life just reading titles track…however it’s a joy to find people who continue to listen that song, but also think there’s no future for LP. Someone must write it.
I see you avatar image with a happy chester and think: no more song, no more laugh and a lots of no more…
I understand. I just want to remember him with a smile. Remember his good moments and joy he gives to us.
Same here. I think that to… when you put the title’s together it’s his way of saying goodbye already. I started playing ‘Sharp Edges’ on the guitar. It’s a nice song to learn.
Me too! The tempo is pretty high though, for a beginner like me at least lol.
You reminded me of one thing and that is that I have not yet understood why Chester made that gesture. Journalists are limited to hypotheses: because of their past or because of the loss of their friend / singer, but are they true?
@anna834 are you alright dear? 
Im here for you, okay? if there is anything you want to share…
What gesture do you mean? Im just trying to follow. English is not my mother language, so sometimes I don’t really understand much, but I’m trying to.
I mean, he hanging himself (according to coroner’s report) but what’s his reason to do that?
