@anna834 I feel kinda silly atm, because I had no idea that you didn’t knew you have a depression… I noticed that a while ago, but I had no idea you didn’t knew 
and the only sad reason I noticed it, is because I have been depressed for almost half my life… I probably have Major Depression Disorder, but we don’t know for sure untill I start decreasing the dose of antidepressants in a year or 2.
Anyway, it seems like your therapist is a good one! Finding out in 1 appointment what is globally going on is good, so you should be happy with this 
I’ll try to explain a little about depression. It’s not like you always feel misserable or suicidal or what ever. When you are suffering from depression you have moodswings, big or small. At one point you can feel extremely happy! And 5 minutes later someone says something wrong (which can be something really small like a bad joke or just the word “shit” or something) and you just feel terrible, sad, down and you just want to cry. But you can also have multiple days where you feel fantastic and everything is going well. That’s why most people don’t know they suffer from depression.
If you want to talk about this more, you can send me an email 
I check my emails regularly, see them sooner then posts in here.
Birdy89@live.nl
But I want to say that I’m very proud of you! You are seeking help and that is one of the important parts of self-care 
and even tho you’re not able to see your therapist for the next couple of weeks, you are taking steps in the right direction 
if you ever need someone to talk to, know that I’m here for you 
If anyone ever wishes to talk to someone, about anything (!) just send me an email. I respond pretty quick and I love to help you out
Brain dead today. And tomorrow I have to look with work. But I will respond.
Thank a lot my dear! 
I am awesome. Having the time of my life. Love Greece and it’s so awesome here. Obviously not perfect but what is? Got in trouble with someone’s girlfriend recently and she is making my life harder but well I don’t care and don’t speak greek so no idea what she is shouting at me lol
Job is great. The only thing I hate is the roaches. They took over my kitchen sink. And I just found out there are scorpions in here!
So, some more thoughts on my stuff.
It’s always just that, thoughts, nothing carved in stone.
I like turning things from one side to the other, look from different ankles, get reflected by others, listen to opinions.
Totally with you on that one. It’s everywhere around me, people categories there lives and use this as excuse for there misery.
But thats not me. I like to look at the categories just to see parallels and already practiced help mechanism. How can I leave the box the best way?
It’s a start to look at my trouble differently and that is good.
My last therapist notched me in the direction of highly sensitivity. I did some online testing and for sure jackpot in every one. So I turned it over a little and that was helpful for a lot of understanding. But then, read of all this people that are now only that, have themselves boxed… no, not me. I took a leave.
please, not silly at all!
What would you have done, bay the way?
Told me, that you see the depression in me? 
Would have gotten quite interesting.
But I really read everything you write here and think about it. You did refer to this happy face depression. Found that interesting, but nothing what connected with me. I mostly feel exactly what I show. And the mostly just benefits my mother, father and grandmother. They couldn’t stand the pain me.
Yes. That’s me.
But still strange to see it as an category. I’m that way my whole live, for sure since I am six. And I had way darker, serious times. In my last dark time I even was in therapy. It helped, a lot. But I ask myself now, was I that good in hiding? Or was the therapist so good, that she knew better then me, that nothing would happen? Maybe she was just naive.
But it doesn’t matter, I have so many years behind me, handling that on my own. And lots of mechanism to fight things of, like bad moods by others. Or turning my mood back to safer ground.
It will be interesting to work with someone who is specialised for just this.
Thank you my dear!
Proud of you too!
Tell me what ever you want and I so like to hear more of your own fight.
Big hug from one worrier to another!
well, this is how it usually goes when i do that…
our buddy seems to have had it with unappreciation so we had to rush back from his pension vacation to the ER with kidney problems in order to finally discover the cause of the bad mood after 5 doctors!
Looks like there’s a big big shadow over his heart and Monday will tell how bad the news are.
all it needed was a chest Xray and 4 vets within 8 months said “he is good”!
His boss had a funny dream when he touched alcohol after a long time:
A beautiful blonde man with blue eyes grabbed both his arms and pinned him to the ground and said : “not in this century” and before he gets kicked in the face for a wake up, i didn’t care much about the threat but mostly was focused on the dark shade of blue that no other eyes i’ve seen before had.
There’s no deep blue eye set out there.
Another interesting detail is that his hands had this “hook ability” when he grabs yours.
but he did forget about them legs!
Not only it’s my fault for trusting doctors my intuition said “no” and was relaxing while the mood deteriorated, but on the very first job of 2018 (grand finale) i call out someone as a lousy marksman.
Yeah, i already knew that was far from the truth, from which i try my best to not deviate from, and someone is way too prideful to let that error in strategy slip.
As i returned to visit doggie face, i noticed the exact same tone of blue on the specially designed plastic bed for doggies and soon after, i was shown the Xray.
Well… he did hit the mark, i’ll give my enemy that.
But just as Rikkie-face proved within a single thread, in the time frame of three months, where hypocrisy exists within the family,
So will this, once more, turn against him because this is a nice century… i like it and feel like staying
.whatever that brings, with this post being an indication of how soon the payback for this blow will arrive.
we’re in a little pendulum you see… 
my turn! 
Within only a few months, some turned from liking this “bait” i have for a dog, which i’ve used this summer to fish out only those who would bend down and pet him instead of pitting him from afar (looking down on “the poor thing”) and our fishing has gone great but it got cut short by black clouds…
He taught me how to not try for any fish and he even proved it in here for more to observe.
It’s funny that i know that now, just as i also discovered his heritage and the 8 year average lifespan a month before we hit the ER, because as the “amazon queen” that started it all in late 2015 met him and for 15 minutes did not leave her sit to pet him but looked down from the high seat of the stool at the bar.
It’s funny because, in order to appreciate who the real heart is, sometimes years of proof get to unravel so you learn to do.
Underneath everything, appreciation for gifts that have to be expressed through misfortune, keeps me sane as misfortune hits.
and that strips it all down and reveals the real core and motive behind a message i had for those who struggle with their misfortunes still.
i want to thank many of you in here,for a lot of the support you provided within the times we co-traveled but i can’t name you because i’ve seen the strength of flying arrows and stray bullets before and i will rest it within each of you to tell if i am thankful to you or not!
Those i am thankful to are able to observe and hopefully now, they got those skills of theirs improved!
i hope Rikkie and i have been enough of a little spark in their fuel!
we will now do as announced.
we will solely focus on our personal health.
We can no longer tolerate the arrows of ingratitude even if those shooting them are still blind to the fact that they do.
Overall, the times were great and i am grateful to more in here than those who try to push a member away by their profoundly exposed deeds!
Keep it up LPU 
Beware of where innocent advice of fake hearts or misdirecting minds can lead and you’ll do fine!
You will know them by their fruits! Not the mesh of branches!
no support is needed fam! (no need for likes)
you’ve provided it already and i am (again) a lot more grateful than bitter!
only as bitter as a job-schedule brings, not a drop more!
Probably this. I had the same issue before 
Since a long time: there isn’t much to say… Really 
the antidepressants are working and I’m feeling pretty good (except for today hahaha), so we’ll have to wait and see how it goes when the therapy starts on the 19th
Big hug for you too
to all real warriors!
This looks like a great thread, and every LP fan has a friend in me. I’d happily wear LP attire as a flag and let others know that they are not alone. That is one of the most significant factors about this band, they have a unique way of bringing people together. I don’t believe anyone who listens to more than one LP album doesn’t feel some kind of emotional connection towards the messages and can somehow relate.
I would say my main issues relate to very much self-inflicted isolation. I’ve learnt to generalise and keep my distance, so much so that nothing actually goes deeper than the surface. Also, I know a lot of what I say here will sound like I’m avoiding giving any details on my current thoughts/worries/situation but that is perhaps a writer’s defect. I’d rather you draw your own conclusions with only subtle hints. I should add, I hate the lack of openness I display when talking about my emotions. Other people’s emotions, I could write a book, but my own are buried somewhere deep and dark. That is one of the ‘bad habits’ I am trying to break and one of the reasons I was always drawn to LP growing up, with their brutally raw emotive lyrics and sound. I’d love to be more LP-style open with every emotional battle and not feel embarrassed about displaying a badass attitude with pain so freely.
My emotional battles are hard to describe. It’s like slowly losing that once caring and sunny disposition which has darkened over the years through hurt and constant disillusionment. It’s similar to a sense of not quite fitting in anywhere as every other person does so easily and readily. Everything you do feels forced. Every relationship seems to crumble. You never really feel able to create the reality you feel inside. It is frustrating and wounding.
However, I am always one to share my hobbies and passions, and that’s what brings me here. Of course, I hope to learn something from you all and continue to improve those aspects of myself that don’t work so well. We should never feel our thoughts, words or being do not matter. We all matter. Greatly.
Oof 
hit home at this point =]
I’d say I can totally relate to you in that everything that happens is quite the roadblock to being happy… personally I think losing a bit of pride or not acknowledging it and knowing you’re just going to bull rush through the bullsh*t helps quite a bit at least towards your mentality and outlook on things… positivity can do wonders to a degree 
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings here…
Maybe it’s hard for you but they were pretty well expressed here
@framos1792 hey, thanks. It always amazes me when others can relate to our feelings and shows that we are not alone in these moments of despair. I always think there is a time when we will all find a way, which has become a motto of mine if you will. I value positivity and actually my time on here has only increased that ten-fold. If we’ve learnt anything from our common love of LP, it’s that sharing our feelings and being connected as a community is important. There is a lot of isolation in the world and it turns into resentment and hatred. The further we drift away the less likely we are to ever be found. I think we’d all be a lot happier if we lost a bit of pride every now and then by sharing our anxieties and flaws by being honest. It’s amazing how much support you can get by just admitting that you’re not okay.
Thanks, I’m glad I managed to convey my feelings in a way that actually made sense
Ummm…I exist. 
@the_termin8r So you’re an emotionless robot? I knew I’d always meet one of those! The future is now.
Yes, I bring a different atmosphere around here. Seriously, I’m that guy here, just ask the others.
Someone’s high on himself today 
[spoiler] @zanybelle 
if you wanna know @the_termin8r’s true identity,
My ‘puter [/spoiler]
Yep he is an emotionless robot, but we like him just the same. Word of advice don’t make him angry
I’d like to see that happen, nobody here has seen me angry. lol
This. LOL
I’m too apathetic of most things to get angry.
I’m trying
Challenge accepted 