I’m so sorry for you as well. Hugs go out to you!! 
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@mishelka3 you seem like u are an amazing soul! I am soooooooo happy I found you guys when I did!
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I am so sorry for all that you have suffered through. Thank you for the kind words and advice 
I’m 30. When this happened a year later I told my mother. I don’t know if she was just in shock or whatnot but all she said was “well your first time is awful anyways at least it’s out of the way”. That still hurts me to this day. So I don’t talk about it much to anyone. I hate talking about it anyways because people just want details and that’s all they care about. I guess I just feel keeping it in is best since people don’t care. Please don’t try to take you own life again. I’ve been in that mind set and it is absolutely the worst. That feeling is like you are drowning and can’t go up for air 
Its terrifying! If you ever fall into that mind set reach out to me. I’ll do all I can to lift you up! I’m so happy you started this thread. It stared out really sad but I’m happy for all the support it has started You guys are just the best! I would give you a big hug if I could!
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I am so sorry for all you have been through and at such a young age Big hugs to you!! I hope you will be able to meet the rest of the band some day I know Chaz won’t be there but I think they would still love to hear what they and Chaz were able to do for you If you ever need to talk I’m here for you and everyone else in this thread
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I can see where those words could still hold so much pain! It’s as bad as being told “you must of asked for it”. Those types of people are not needed in ur healing. I never thought that this thread would become what it has! I was so scared to start it but I was so lost when I heard about Chester that I sort of just threw myself in…now it’s the best move I could have made! I promise u I’m here for you! I know depression will never leave but with us holding together I think we can take it on a little easier
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Thank you. Your comment made me blush (Hahahaha). It’s such a shame that some people don’t respect it as much as you do. Thank you verymuch for understanding!
You know I’m always here if you need us!
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Thank you very much!
It’s not often that I get people that understand my problems so all I can say is thank you!! I just wish that I can see them live one more time so I can tell them how much they mean to me! 
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People that say “you must have asked for it” need to reevaluate their lives…they make me angry. I think this is the type of thing LP strives to help us with. We need to wear our depression like armor. It’s not going to stop me or bring me down. I mean it might bring me down on some days but I’ll pick myself up and wear it again. Depression has nothing on me when I can control it. It’s just some days makes it very hard. But let me tell you I wouldn’t have written a statement like that yesterday. Yesterday this depression had me but you guys helped pick me up and now I feel so much better
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I think in this thread we have all been through something and can relate from the pain we have been through As sad as that can be I think it also helps us to be able to pull each other up when we are down and feel defeated And thank you for helping with such kind words to pull me up As for LP I bet from what Phoenix statement said that they are not finished. I have a feeling LP will go on. We don’t know how they plan to go ahead and do it but I think they know how much they help others.
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Its great to see a lot of positive energy flowing… That’s why i love this community. All help all 
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Thank you @danni1317, I just try to be kind to everyone when I can 
Just like LP teaches us to. I sometimes see myself as one of the many children they have in this whole world and they try to raise us the right way
You are an amazing person too! Look at you! All sunny and positive! 
That’s what love and kindness is for
That’s hurtful, I agree. For sensitive people like us this is an arrow to the heart. But sometimes people don’t know how to react to things, they just say the first thing on their mind. She maybe wanted you not to worry about it and expressed herself this way, saying this based on her past experiences - which of course cannot be compared to yours - but she think she could. I know it hurts, but it’s better to forgive and forget than to make your mind be worried for the rest of your life about what anybody said in the past. Think about the present and future, past is behind.
Do you have anybody now? I mean like a boyfriend/fiancee who understands you.
After my experiences in my youth I had some serious mental blocks when someone touched me sexually. My ever first sexual experience with my first boyfriend was in a complete darkness, because I was too afraid. He even had to cover the digital clock display 
But he was sort of a masher anyways, completely not fit for me, so it does not matter now
Then I met my husband and it took me a long time (I mean really, like 7 years) not to be worried when touching him (and to let him touch me without worries). Even now I usually need darkness because of my mental blocks and sometimes I can’t even move because of them.
But they slowly dissapear, I can feel them weakening more year after year. You just need the right man in your life and if you haven’t find him yet, you surely will
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I’m sure that’s why she said it. I don’t hold it against her all the time it’s just on rare occasions I think about it and it still hurts. I’ve pretty much stayed single. For anyone I have dated I don’t let it get to the point of a physical relationship. Like you I have mental blocks. So I find many reasons to dump the guy before it gets that far. I feel myself feeling better about the idea of a physical relationship more and more every year however most guys I have met aren’t patient and just want to get to the physical part when I’m clearly not ready so I break up with them. Hopefully some day I’ll find someone like you did. That’s the hard part I think lol finding someone that gets it. I’m happy you found someone that respects your blocks and respects you Makes him a very special person
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Yeah, well, he even didn’t need to get it at the beginning, because he was even slower in things than me 
Of course, I told him later, but he didn’t know in the beginning
I think you need to find a guy who’s not interested in girls and do the work of making a date by yourself, that’s how I did it and it worked :DDD
And it was a hard work in the beginning, but I’m happy my husband is like that. We evolve by my own pace and he is not interested in other women - like at all
Yes, he is very special And such special people are usually hidden somewhere, you just have to take a large (I mean really large) shovel and dig them out
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So I finally went to visit my brothers grave, yesterday. We cleaned up everything and checked on a few other family members too. It was peaceful on the way there we heard some LP and Chris Cornell which was kinda therapeutic. I had my son and fiancee with me so we didn’t stay to long, but one of these times I do want to just sit with him …without being on anyone else’s schedule. I do admit my heart was a bit lighter this visit then it usually is and again I thank you guys for that:blue_heart:
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Good to hear that! you have the power to be a very strong person! Hope remembering the good things give you serenity…
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Maybe you can go there some time on your own and share new music with him or something And you get to spend your time there with him I’m happy you were okay seeing him and felt like you had less weight behind you. You are a very strong person Don’t forget that!
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I didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere previously when you gals were talking 
it’s really very cool to see all of you be there for one another after the many things you’ve gone through…I guess I kind of felt I can’t be much help in relating to situations like that being a guy and also it is difficult to hear things like that have happened knowing it’s stupid men who are responsible for acts like this…I guess I can only say that there really are decent guys out there and to be open to the possibility of having to get those guys out of their shell like @mishelka3 said because either the guys are too shy to really approach a stranger or again like she said don’t really even realize who they’re talking to lol
Idk I’m just really sorry to hear all the pain you’ve gone through but am also glad you’ve found somewhere to at the very least vent
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I would like to do that just sit there with him and listen to music, I remember once upon a time I use to love to draw and paint…but lost it somehow. .maybe be able to sit with him and paint something would be awesome
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Not all men are the same…! from your words I can say you’re a kind person and clever and amusing… you made me smile many times! "stupid"people exist and we can do nothing , except to dig with much attention to find nice people… like @mishelka3 said… it’s not easy, but not impossible either…
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