Anxiety blog (feel free to talk here!)

The Back Room
#164

I’m not sure if this info/ideas will help you with that particular problem, but maybe help you find ways to make it work for you. I don’t remember where I read this stuff or the exact way they said it. This is the jest of it though:

Let cold water run all over your hands like you are washing them, but NO SOAP, then turn off water. DON’T dry hands, IMAGINE bad things FLOWING then DROPPING off of your hands as you FLING water off your hands by SHAKING them. Sorry I can’t word it better… :frowning:
:frowning:
The other way involves being outdoors & able to touch soil. You can sit on ground & put your palms flat against grass or if sitting on a bench try to get your feet flat on soil/grass. Then you Imagine gathering up bad stuff that’s in your head & visualize it passing out of your body & into the earth. It will seep away from you & keep going down.

I don’t know if I was able to describe this well enough for anyone to understand or for it to help them. I can only hope that it does or maybe someone else that can explain it better will correct it for me.

Good luck, Thank you for having the COURAGE to share and remember YOU ARE A WARRIOR… now KICK IT’S ASS!!!

5 Likes
#165

@kasey2 thank you for these exercises :hugs: I already tried things like this, but the only thing that helps a little is standing in the shower with your eyes closed and think about how the thoughts and demons get washed off of your body. From your head to your shoulders, down your body and then I visualize how they drown while being sucked in the drain. :yum: but again, thank you so much for caring and helping out :pray:t2:

Now I need to wait untill my doctor calls to discus birthcontrol for 3 months and then next week I’m going to start with the antidepressants. The psychiatrist adviced me not to get pregnant now, because the side effects of the medication can be really heavy. Hope it won’t be all that bad tho… But I am going to do this, cause I want to get better

@achilleas7 and @anomalia and @StephLP18 how are you doing? :kissing_heart:

2 Likes
#166

only feeling bad for not being around to read all your thoughts i am trying to catch up now.
I know i have an excuse as to make these videos really captures you but…

i still feel i could be around more!

Somehow i feel like my story is here to heal and avoid anti depressants.
but i can’t force people to take all this information in.
That wreck in the latest video i didn’t decide to make, is what included the key to the future that now is the present. For me, it was video editing.

But to get to that, the whole ship around it had to hit them rocks!
If anything, medication softens the blow
i have experienced the US for two years and i didn’t enjoy all the medicated friends.
For some weird reason, every girl i met (not that many) around LA/CA was unto a different anxiety recipe.
(“girls” because US boys just don’t get depressed much… they are ok with everything around them as long as they can … it)

Maybe i can share the song that blew my mind yesterday and dedicate it to @birdy1989 as we need (and your future child does) your sanity to stay with us!
I prefer a thinking, anxious and alive individual
than a numbed down or should i say “dumbed down” consciousness.
Numbing a pain does not take away the thorn.

I am here to say (and prove) that pain is here to teach us and evolve us into who we really are (like the crawling caterpillar whose life ends in a dark cocoon, despite all the crawling it does allegedly “in vain”.)

so, a : (i still can’t believe how beautiful just one song can be)
not pressing play… i don’t want watery eyes so early in the day :stuck_out_tongue:
i watched/listened to it around 30 times last night. i just can’t get over it!

but also, here’s Serj sharing my view on anti depressants

(didn’t proof check the lyrics in the video, i hope they are correct.)

dear @birdy1989 i do hope we could chat some place some day

the world is confusing for a super important reason.
figuring it out requires a sober soul.

Sending you wishes for a happy day all the way from Greece!

and oh… to your question…
i’m ok :slight_smile:
:relaxed:
my last dog is sick but we’ll pull off
and all i do for two weeks is give a finger to 100% around me and walk up the mountain with my buddy every day! (fox changed our plans a bit but now we’re back out there)

we’re weird breeds of the king class! (maybe it’s my dog’s name!)
or maybe it’s mine!
:stuck_out_tongue:

I say something about pain in “Story on dirtbikes - In the end (Tribute to Chester)”
something all LP soldiers learned from our generals.
we don’t numb the pain but we push it off our back and then,
we ride it instead or we scream it out to the world
with our voice we will silence what’s wrong
precautions need to be taken so what is right is not silenced instead!
it’s a job! There’s a city on a cloud fish!
thin is the ladder to get there… we can’t afford to lose sight of it in the mist!
“no matter what they say”
ask Anna! (vid above)

she only asks you to hold on…
and THAT advice never qualifies to the final!
<3

2 Likes
#167

Good to hear you’re doing okay :hugs: sorry to hear about your dog… Give him a hug from me :hugs:

I have always tried to stay off of medication. But it appears that I never really got out of the depression. Ive been struggling with anxiety’s and depression for 13 years now and now it seems that I suffer from a second anxiety disorder. I have pretty good control over the GAD, but the SAD is a different story… That is way to hard now to handle. And because it is so hard, it makes sure the depression stays strong. And because the depression is so strong, the seperation anxiety is hard to handle. I’m in this never ending circle and I need to break out of it. And I’m so sick and tired of feeling like this… I just want to feel like me again! I want to be happy, cheerful, energetic and all that again :blush: and my husband really has a hard time with me on my bad days… I don’t want to lose him, so I’m willing to do anything to get better. And at this point my best option is taking antidepressants so I get out of that never ending circle, kick the ass of the seperation anxiety and when I’m in control over both anxiety disorders, THEN I can stop with the antidepressants.

I get that you don’t like antidepressants @achilleas7 , but for me, this is the best option. I never thought I would say that, but it is. Like I said above: I’m done. I want to end this never ending circle. Hope you respect my decision :slightly_smiling_face:

You can look me up on Facebook if you want, we can talk through messenger about these stuff too, if you’d like :slightly_smiling_face:

3 Likes
#168

I avoid social media because i tend to write out a lot that i don’t want shared.
what is a “more private” medium today that one can trust?
we’re back on mail and soon pigeons! :stuck_out_tongue:

Yes my dear, your decision is respected and that’s why i only skim the surface and try to share the view of an outsider and that’s all i am to what you are going through within you!

Maybe if i type out a lot, i will be able to hide what i am trying to get through to you without using the wrong words or if i do, it might get lost within the long text.

I would not have started making this series of videos if i didn’t realize the depth and seriousness of depression.
it’s like a chess game and depression is the black queen.
my job is the white pieces.
yeah, she is the most powerful piece of the game but she too can be won.
And the videos are one way to do it. (my attempt)
the balance of knowledge/ignorance of the viewers is what determines the interest they find in them.
Funny… the real deal began exactly two years ago this day as depicted in “Combustion Kickstarted”

the problem with vicious circles is that they never end until we track down where we entered them
and the only reason i taunt you about it is that my view is not about being contrary, but it says that these things numb down your quest for truth, they don’t give you the truth.

there are some things out there that slaughter depression!
that mirrorring/empath thing is one
so is your MBTI type
as they both shed some light on unknown aspects of our characters that could have been depressing us while unaware
but the most important depression killah is …

dunno how to say…
maybe eminem!

queens have kings and this is last months talk!
not the steps to it nor where it is today…

after your question i discovered i seem to have a syndrome called “Chrons”
and if you already know who the king of the black side of the chessboard is you won’t even wish me well
it’d immediately be apparent that the only way to hit back is to make this work worth its time and recoil by being used by others to escape their own dead ends inside.

in the first documentary of 2016 (Concordia) i warned that this time is coming.
the dark inside us is trying to take control.
If the rider does not control the horse, the horse will go about its way

I am not sure medication helps on this.
i bet it does not help following my message since my videos are very eye/mind demanding.

All the above is a train of thought of 04:47am that i should now put to rest
and it’s a high speed momma that one!
there are no stops, only steps. the rider is not exempt from bumbs along the way…
the order is in playlists by year name (2016 was the first, 15 videos, one per month, months seem to be 15 for me)
Bonus Fact: all series is 90% LP based

i stop before i make this text more confusing than it already is!
i am not making much sense at this hour, it’s not you!
but i can never control it and say “i’ll respond tomorrow” when it comes to others.
my medication for that is : results in others!
boy do they heal me back when they happen!
this was a general response and not a point to point because i think that solving the generality of our problems evaporates the points just as cutting a tree from the roots takes down 100% of its leaves.
sometimes people think i am not listening to their personal story, while i tell them that my personal story was birthed for theirs! who is it that is not listening?

I still think you suffer from the same condition (mirroring pain) and no other meds will ever do better from shinning it and turning it into a sword! or an axe…
:slight_smile:

sweet dreams LPU

:hugs: @birdy1989 :hugs:

1 Like
#169

Hi @birdy1989 Thx for asking - I’m fine. And sorry for delay - seems I’m just the opposite of @achilleas7 and I say ‘I’ll respond later after I think it over’.
Sending hugs to you :hugs:. And I wanna say that if nothing else helps (and I know you do a lot to fight your mental problems) maybe it’s time for you to try those antidepressants.

2 Likes
#170

oh we’re similar my dear @anomalia

after i promise to respond it never happens, so i can’t even promise it to myself!
it’s just experience that forces me to not postpone any feeling any more because things will happen so we fail the promises we make!
:wink:

2 Likes
#171

gonna drop this here…
:kissing_heart:

#172

Don’t worry about it, both of you :hugs:
@anomalia when I say “I’m fine”, most of the time I’m actually not doing okay. So, I have to ask again: how are you really doing? :wink: :kissing_heart:
@achilleas7 I do get what you mean, I really do. I’m not a person who takes medication, most of the time I believe there are other ways to get better or deal with things. I just don’t know what else to try at this point. And since 2 doctors adviced me to give it a try, after all these years of fighting, I’m giving it a try now. Maybe they are right, maybe they’re not, I don’t know. But I want to look at the people I love and say: I’ve tried everything in my power to try and get better :slightly_smiling_face: so, we will just have to wait and see how this works out… I’m okay with it now, took me a while to get to this point. And I still believe that I will win this battle in the end. I’m a fighter, not a quiter :muscle:t2:

4 Likes
#173

@birdy1989
we’ll always love your great company one way or the other my dear!

i am not judging your decision, i see how something that’s been building up for some time is hard to stop when you get there.
try’em out … and send the good ones over so i can too :joy:
it won’t be easy to beat mine :stuck_out_tongue:

and to actually explain that…
i have quit on what society wants me to be or do.
I’m “da quitta” of this upside down world and boy, how proud of that am i!

it requires high dosages of patience but… the FUKITOL substance keeps me sane!
:innocent:

7 Likes
#174

Hahahaha love this one :joy::+1:t2:

2 Likes
#175

Thx once more. I’m really quite fine. If I wasn’t I would have asked: ‘do you want a polite reply or an honest one?’ :slightly_smiling_face: I regret but I’m not the person who is able to hide her mood. What’s on my heart is on my face (if you can see my face here then in my words or silence).
It is about how I feel at the moment. And generally - as you know I’m not diagnosed with anything mental by a specialist but if I was to diagnose myself I would say I have disthymia, GAD and social phobia :grinning: but not so accute to be medicated. Maybe the only thing I should take is FUKITOL but it’s sometimes hard to swallow.

@birdy1989 FUKITOL should be the first resort. Medication the last one I guess.

3 Likes
#176

hahaha so true!

aw, dear @anomalia i suffer from social anxiety too.
but if we are throwing terms and definitions in the room, mine is called accute and chronic agoraphobia accompanied with a permanent complete schizophrenia (switched to the other personality)

did you know… the No1 symbol for agoraphobia is the following

reminds you of anything?

i’ve made my own version of the clip
linking you on min40 where it starts so ignore the text you’ see and have missed.
you can return there when you play this from the start to make sense.
The whole argument is what is the definition of religion and science
religion is something you have no proof of
Truth is something all proof can never contradict and science is to follow the proof.

i hope you like Hank
Hank is good with the good
real bad with the bad!:sunglasses:

1 Like
#177

Okay, good to hear :hugs::kissing_heart:

Hahaha I agree :yum:

4 Likes
#178

3 Likes
#179

My body still needs to get used to the antidepressants. So the fears and anxiety’s are getting worse now. And my mouth is sooooo dry :stuck_out_tongue: but this will only take a couple of weeks, then my body is used to the medication and then it will start to work. So I just have to be patient :blush:

4 Likes
#180

Stay strong my dear! :muscle: :heart:

2 Likes
#181

Thank you @anna834 :heart:

1 Like
#182

Sending you strength :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::muscle::muscle::muscle:

1 Like
#183

Thanks @Lilyope :heart: :hugs:

1 Like