3rd anniversary- thoughts?

We Love You Chester
#1

It’s the 20.07. tomorrow- a day that will be something burned in my memory ever after it happened. - it was a Thursday back then… my situation was more than complicated back then…

A moment inbetween all bad and frightening emotions I ever felt came up - and were really confusing me- inbetween the hope for a dementi and the deepest sadness I ever felt …

Jumping 3 years forward now in time - most of my life is cleared up. I feel most of the time at least ok, Chesters passing away made me aware - aware about what it important in life- and guys honestly- you are important! Each of us himself should be the most important person for yourself!

I don’t mean that in an egoistical way- but in a way that caring for yourself is the base and the bottom from which you can get in a good, caring process with others if this is needed. Relationships should always at least be in balance from giving and taking on the long run …

I try to make Chester proud each and every day, sometimes better sometimes not so good- but I move on!

Chazzy left us- and if this was his way I still try to completely accept it! He is my hero and I still miss him everyday!

… now I cry a bit- because it’s sad- and tears make it flow out…

:purple_heart:when life leaves us blind… love :heart: keeps us kind :yellow_heart:

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#2

Screenshot_20200719-031750~2

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#3

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but whatever happens. We’re not going to be alone. We have our backs. Sincerely I don’t know what to expect. For now I’m fine, but we’ll see it later.

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#4

Thank you @theearlywalker for opening this topic and tell us all this. :pleading_face:
Take a big hug from me :hugs: and strength :muscle: and love :green_heart:

I am struggling with tomorrow.
But I had decided to not write about it. In some way, I still have the feeling, I don’t earn to be sad, cause I missed it three years ago.

But now I will write it down. Writing just helps me, it feels a little like putting my memory into a Pensieve (Harry Potter).

Last year at 07/20 there was a big party on my fathers farm. Reason was that all of the kids of my father and his wife and their partners moved back home.
I talked to my youngest brother, if it would be ok, to play two songs of Linkin Park as remembrance and he was ok with it.
So I played One More Light and A Line In The Sand.
No one danced, but there wasn’t anyone dancing before either, cause some guy played horrible techno the last hour.
Still, my father thought this a no go, and talked to my brother.
So he came, and said, I should stop this.
I said, it’s just this two songs. And that he knew, it was for this special day (he is a Hybrid Theory and Meteora fan).
He said: “This is our party! Not the Party of Chester Bennington.”
But he did let the song finish.
It was a great party, lot’s of familiar faces and nice talkes and dancing.
Sigh, but it also wasn’t one of my good days and I was sad.
I at least broke with my habit to disguise this, was just me, the way I am.

Weekes after this I got a call from my father, where he told me, besides some more horrible things, not related to this day, that I had totally misbehaved. I was a total embarrassment. He could see that I am eaten up by envy and resentment to my siblings. Not one nice word to their achievements on the farm…
Never been back on the farm since.

Oh, you probably know the story from last year.
Its all about me and has actually nothing to do with this topic.

Sorry :grimacing:

Just f*** this day!

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#5

Hey @anna834, I’m sorry this happened to you. Lots of love and strength to you. :two_hearts: :hugs:

This year is going to be much harder for me than before because for the first time, I’m going to be alone, not celebrating Chester’s life with all my closest friends.

I’m trying to hold on to what Chester’s passing really left behind. It made me realize that throughout my pain and suffering, there’s always going to be people there with me with whom I fight the battles, like there’s always going to be this community when I miss Chester and his music.

Still, Linkin Park’s music and Chester’s voice really got me through the worst days of my life and just being forced to realize that he’s not going to be there anymore, that this is the choice he made, is hard.

Let’s hold each other up, remembering Chester and celebrating all the good that he left in his wake. In his own words,
:revolving_hearts: When my time comes…forget the wrong that I’ve done…
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed :revolving_hearts:

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#6

It’s definitely something that’s gotten easier over time for me. Much like most of us, Chester was a prominent voice in my upbringing, and Linkin Park is a vital band in my life to this day.

I think it hits harder for me when I think of the future of the band, and how/if they can fill shoes like his.

More than anything, though, I’m happy to be a part of such an amazing community of people. From the moment the news broke, to the aftermath, to three years later, LP fans continue to make Chester proud, look out for one another, and to lend a hand or a voice when those around them need it most.

When I look at this date on the calendar, I see it more as a day to celebrate the beautiful spirit that was Chester Bennington. Regardless of the demons he ultimately couldn’t escape from, in the short time he was here, he was able to use his words and his voice to connect and relate to thousands upon millions of people around the world. He’s left such a lasting impact and a legacy that will continue to be celebrated for years to come.

“May your love never end, and if you need a friend, there’s a seat here alongside me.”

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#7

I thinks this could help someone of you tomorrow.

LIGHTNINTON

Over the darkness world where all the hope is lost and there is nothing else to see, but a weak light on the horizon shine saying:

"remember all the sadness and frustration and let it go…”

A voice from that light tell us a history, its history, pay attention:

Where the stars sing, your light shines by itself over that dark world covering in white rays yours.

Some soldiers appear running to reach your fire. In a park, they look around it searching through the shadows and that mist. What are they looking for? You!

Their friends need your lights. Where are the angels singing? Those soldiers won’t give up in their fight against the dark, even if your light goes out. Our will will be the path.

Keep showing us your energy and together we will protect each other and our world from that black presence. This light is their leader, and those warriors are ourselves!

Without anyone realized it, the history that the voice told them became into the reality. Now with all the problems we have in our own lives, we always take care of the others, because we are not friends, we are family, and together we scream:

#FuckDepression!
#MakeChesterProud!

There is no need to say be strong, we are strong! So I just say:
Don’t forget that I love you all and love the life!

I wrote that text two years ago. Please if you feel alone tomorrow come here to talk and find support.

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#8

Everytime I hear that song, i just cry. It’s a really hard song to listen to, specially my condition right now. :cry: Tomorrow will be a very hard day for me! And i will do my best to honor him! He made us al so happy with his smile and humor. But also made us very sad with his passing away.
I agree with what @theearlywalker said. :point_down:

:point_up_2: this… Im more aware of life. And more aware of death. We should enjoy life more and be there for each other and not hate each other. And enjoy every minute that you have with you’re loved ones! :heart:

#makechesterproud

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#9

Sending strengths and hugs :muscle: :hugs: :muscle: :hugs: :muscle: :hugs: :muscle:
Whatever happens tomorrow, you are not alone, and if there is no one close to hug to remember how much you worth, we are here, ok?

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#10

I will be posting my 3rd year post later today

For now I leave this; I am very lucky, my partner has been and still is very understanding to how much this day means

She lets me talk about all my Linkin Park concert stories, she understands that this day is a hard day for me
I laugh and cry and sing and cry and shout and cry etc
Even 3 years later, she doesnt say anything like “get over it” or anything like that, instead she stands by my side she offers me comfort
She even asks “what will I do for this day”
1st year was the listening party i did
Last year i sat listening to LP all day, had a bbq, had a couple friends over, was a good day in some sense
This year, well with Covid-19, it will be me and LP

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#11

I’m finding it hard to celebrate his life tomorrow, finding it hard in general still to get my head around him not being able to cope enough to stay in the world. Like lots of fans I got so much from him and the band through their music (and their general sillyness on videos/interviews) I just thought it would always stay like that, when I think that he’s not there I get a brick like feeling in my stomach.

The weeks itself in July three years ago just hit me pretty hard. I’d met him on the last show at Birmingham after being a fan for going on 15 years and that day just meant everything to me. On the day it happened I was very low and remember watching an interview with him talking about depression, and just hearing him speak about it uplifted me, resonated I suppose. It got me out of bed and that afternoon I went into work only to hear the news and I just broke. I still can’t get over the unfairness of how he felt enough to do that. It’s not fair :disappointed:

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#12

I suggest to make a listening party via Zoom or Meet or any other video calling app.
This virus can separate us, but the admiration and passion we feel toward Chester can’t be broken.

We can make 2 meeting: One from American soldiers (all countries, not only USA :unamused:) and other for European and Asian soldiers.

Even a third one where every soldier has the chance to celebrate him.

I don’t know what you guys think about it.

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#13

Yes! Definitely. Let’s coordinate a time

Beautifully written. Thank you :heart_eyes:

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#14

Let’s wait for others. There are a lot of soldiers here who lives in different parts of the world.

To you, for reading it :hugs:

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#15

Nice flow inhere guys! :hugs::hugs::yellow_heart::muscle:t2::yellow_heart::hugs: and nice to meet you @nickolasgray :grin: I like the idea of a meet up virtually very much.

Thanx for sharing your story and these positive thoughts- # 320 We are the change :heart:

No matter what emotions are flowing in your mind today- try to accept it! You’re and everybody is right and matter- just and even and in general because we are special, unique and loved :heart:

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#16

Oh yes, a sad day today…but life can be made beautiful, a tribute to Chester’s caring personnality. Thanks for these words. Personally I was the last weeks so deeply engulfed in Chester’s voice through grey daze Amends albul that it made it at the same time a bit lighter, as if he were still here with us, and overwhelmed by the power of his songs. 3 years already, 3 years missing him. Heartful thoughts and hugs from France to all LP fans, great community, take care of all of you and not only because of the corona. Enjoy life we owe him that and to all those who love us too.

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#17

I remember the day very well, when we got that awful message. :sob: I was at home. Watching television, the news and then Chester came on the news. My heart broke. I didn’t believe it, so i checked the internet and social media accounts and then i saw Mike’s post. :sob: I cried so hard, my parents didn’t know what to do, so they just hold me. After that i went to bed. And i cried the whole night. Didn’t sleep at all! I wished it was a nightmare i had to wake up from, sadly it wasn’t. :cry:

Screenshot_20200720-015918_Pinterest

After 3 years. This day is a day i would like to skip as fast as possible. It’s hard, but will the love we have here for each other , we can make it! :heart:
Love yourself and have respect for yourself! :heart:

Who cares if one more light goes out? Well I do!
:heart:

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#18

Lovely posts and words guys. I’ve shared my words in the What are you doing thread, so I’ll just link that here:

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#19

I remember that day very well, I remember every single beat my heart was skipping when the rumours started to spread on Twitter and other socials. When Mike tweeted that it was true I just broke and didn’t stop crying till the next morning when I got to work. My dad, my cousin (who was at the house with me when it happened) and some friends I barely knew back then (one of them being my current flatmate) were amongst the first people that contacted me to say how sorry they were. My manager was the first one to hug me so tightly the next morning at work, told me it was ok to be sad/upset and cry if I needed to and offered to give me the day off (we’d known each other for just 7 months back then so it was a gesture I truly appreciated).

After the initial shock, I will always remember meeting some of you for the first time in the memorials. Even though we gathered to celebrate and mourn his life, it was amazing just being together. The way this community has stood for one another is remarkable to me, we always have each others backs. I wish there was one this year but with covid and all that, I understand it is difficult.

After 3 years, I think I can say it feels a bit better, I’ve accepted it. I have my moments on various anniversaries, like today, but other than that, I always smile because I remember all the good things he offered us. Without him (and the band) I wouldn’t be who I am today. So, I will try and do happy Chester things today, like chase rainbows (weather permitted), wear colour, cook, play and listen to music and spend time with friends.

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#20

I know this video is 3 years old. Still breaks my heart to see it! I had to share it.

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