Here’s a free hug 
for anyone who is fighting hard but is unsure of what is going to happen… Is determined but have that little fear in heart as well … keep faith 
we all love you!
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And so, my new found courage is close at melting like snow for the sun, again. My body found a new way to torture me, even when the old problems aren’t totally gone . Tomorrow I’m urgently have to go see a total new specialist in a complete different medical branche … And on top of that all, my blood results show an early stage of rheumatism In my joints, Yay!!!
This body is really in decay and the doctors don’t really know anymore how to handle it. They can do little more than patching up…
I’m not even sure yet if my arteries will hold. It could take up to a year to be a bit sure everything will stay fine… I’m only at 4 months. (last time it took only 6 months before it all went bad again)
So, what to do? I’m so tired of complaining but that doesn’t hold back the pains and problems.
A month ago I would have given up totally. Now I don’t know. I just found my hunger for life again but it seems that my body won’t let me enjoy it…
damn, I wish I was just a head in a jar, Futurama style
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Sigh… that sounds like a nightmare and definitely is a heavy burden. I’m happy to hear that you don’t give up. I pray for you and I wish that you can enjoy every good moment - sending you strength right from the bottom of my heart
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I could fall in this lingering depression again… But honestly I’m tired… of this body, of the pains, of all the health problems but also of being depressed and the fears.
I,‘ve never been this far that even being depressed is becoming boring 
I’ m not accepting it all yet but I’m not gonna fight it anymore also. Fysically, I’m basically 'f***ed, and mentally, I’m too exhausted to even care anymore. What I have accepted in the last months is that my life will probably be short lived. Until now it has been a quite useless life anyway. So, how short it may become, it’s all right…
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expecting the worst can give relief at times… I just feel like hugging you
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is it possible that an ass kicking to your body would make it cooperate? Being nice and patient hasn’t helped so time for drastic measures 
Bro you’re ALREADY at 4 months, think of it like that, it’s already an accomplishment, I know I’m trying to see a silver lining but perhaps going to yet another specialist brings a new perspective or another clue as to work around or through everything that’s going on?
If you were meant to throw in the towel this would have hit you last month don’t you think? It would have hit at a moment when you we’re down and out and wouldn’t want to get back up-that’s not the case
Yeah it’s getting you at a high point but in a way it’s best case scenario, no? You have the will to fight through it yet again-or in any event to weather it like the badass you are 
One more…the useless life thing…
There’s people here and I’m sure people within your real life that don’t believe that a single percent
It’s good having you here dude, it’s enjoyable as you are
It gets cliche to hear and crap but you mean something to lots of us
You mean a lot to a lot of us
And ain’t no one wanna see you down and out
If life’s importance is measured by what we leave behind in those around us, your life ain’t one bit useless 
don’t underestimate what effects you have in others…
I’m here hoping for the very best for you bro Good vibes, good thoughts all your way
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Any of us could be hit by a bus tomorrow… And we have big scary red ones on very narrow roads with irate drivers and cyclists all hell bent on killing each other just to get home and watch TV.
We like to think we’re invisible but everyday we wake up in a warm comfy bed and get a hot smoking mug of tea or coffee and bite into that awesome piece of toast, we’re damn lucky. I mean, freedom is highly underappreciated.
We are the fortunate ones (Rebellion).
Don’t miss out on the robot uprising the future is bound to bring. I want to hang on to see lamp posts give me directions to the nearest Tesco, and cars driving themselves whilst the ‘driver’ taps furiously on a miniscule phone. I want to watch people and AI robots relationships, cuz robots don’t let you down or hate you when you mess up.
If anything, this world is always changing… yet it always stays exactly the same. Nobody can predict the future and as long as you never give up hope, I think how ever long we all have on this tiny odd planet, it’s up to us to make the most of our tiny slice of it. Do whatever makes you happiest.
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Lol thank you for that picture of the future
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Finally out of words
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Oh that sounds familiar 
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@Fravaco I haven’t been in this thread in a while. I’m reading the last few of your posts with compassion. I choose not to offer advice but to mainly listen and hold space.
I hear you, this reminds me of myself but for different reasons.
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You wanna bet?
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Haha! True
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This came just in time…
Yesterday was a fucked up day…
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Sounds good
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And here we go again… Very high blood pressure(over 17), dizziness, speeding heart rate… Fuck this weather and fuck this body…
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This is no life anymore…
Having 2 or 3 “good” months in a year.
Having to do everything in the morning because the rest of the day, I’m forced to lay down.
Spending almost every fucking day of the year between these 4 walls.
Being careful and having to overthink every single thing I want to do before I do it.
Having my wife being worried about me every second of the day, while she puts her life on hold for me…
I’m not gonna do anything stupid but in all honesty, I’m done… For me, this life may stop whenever it wants…
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I …
and there, my words loose me.
That happens quite a lot in those pep talk situations. I don’t want to sound shallow and also don’t want to risk words that getting out wrong.
But that isn’t the case with you.
It’s more, that I get it.
At least I think so.
I can feel your thinking.
And what is then left to say?
Just my own egoism.
That I am happy about every day you are still in this life.
That, as I said before, I take you what ever way.
And I don’t know your wife, but I am sure, it is the same way for her.
She has to carry a lot, but it’s her choice. Don’t take this away from her.
Love you
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