The beauty of an ever questioning mind

The Barracks
#21

This is the last song of this week. This song is from my 4th Mixtape “Memes & Themes”. The song is called “Thirty Three”. The number 33 is a special number to me as I see it A LOT without wanting to see it. But the theme of the song itself is basically about my now ex-gf was going through a tough time of depression and all I wanted to do was tell her that “I’m here for you”. But in retrospect, I feel the song is even more than that. This is the longest song I have available at over 6 mins! I also make a few mistakes, so I’m sorry lol. Let me know what you guys think!

Thirty three: https://ufile.io/e3cyo

Lyrics:
Life feels like on repeat
Walking down the same street
Back and forth, bittersweet
Even doing it all
As planned, you seem to have hit a wall
That put a deliberate stall
Realized that you’re still missing a part
You can feel it aching in your heart
You’re Picasso trying to paint a perfect work of art
But even then
You start questioning your reason time and time again
Will you ever get an answer? If so, when?
Trying to find reason to continue it all
Under depression you start to fall
An existential crisis awaits at the pitfall
Feeling the pressure on your shoulder
You close the door to others and grow colder
But time passes by and you grow older
The thought of it being repetitive
Has you thinking, why are you competitive?
That you need a sedative
Do you wonder why you are here?
It can strike a certain fear
Letting these thoughts appear
Because everything you worked for
Devoted your life to gain more
Seem to be a mere lie
You ask yourself why even try?
No one understands, so you start to cry
Feeling alone
You let this darkness postpone
Dreams that you have grown
To believe
Are actually there to deceive
Now all you want to do is leave
This feeling so unexplainable
Everything you have been taught seems to be so obtainable
But what seems unattainable
Is truth
Corrupted since youth
Becoming an emotional wreck
You’ve lost all respect
Now it’s those old ways you start to neglect

Life feels like on repeat
Walking down the same street
Back and forth, bittersweet
Even doing it all
As planned, you seem to have hit a wall
That put a deliberate stall
Maybe you need that little push
From someone that understands the problems that try to ambush
Someone that knows how you feel
That understands your problem is real
That will give you a helping hand to cope and deal
But those chances are slim to none
As your own blood is in disbelief one by one
It can’t be undone
You’ve opened your eyes
You can’t go back to seeking the societal prize
Just left their to agonize
The wonders of an ever questioning mind
Will have you inclined
To get behind and find
The miracle
Of life is satirical
It’s empirical
You can no longer interact
With those that have been left intact
To material wonders they attract
That’s a fact
You can no longer make eye contact
Because you have cracked
No longer feel ordinary
Everyone feels like an adversary
Trying to pull you back in to what’s customary
Needing to find that slice
Of paradise
A similar being that wouldn’t think twice
Wouldn’t question
Your obsession
To get rid of this manic depression
Sees the world like you
Is the one to help you breakthrough
Help you with the answers that you pursue
See the world through different eyes
As the old straw man dies
Breaking those societal ties
You begin to recognize
And realize
Just how blue are the skies
How the wind blows your hair
How beautifully the stars flare
I’m here for you, won’t you please share?

Life feels like on repeat
Walking down the same street
Back and forth, bittersweet
Let me Be your guide
In which you can confide
All the ideas that haunt you, which others denied
Let me Be the one to set you free
To make you feel you are in the right company
The one to take your blindfold off and let you see
Give in to me
I have the key
To door thirty three
Let it flow
Let the insanity show
Because you and I both know
What’s wrong
From the first day out of the womb we looked for somewhere to belong
All along
But in the end we were right
That was the highlight
Of our lives, to confirm to our delight
That we’re two peas from the same pod
Two people that felt odd
That our minds are too broad
For this place
We only hide behind this face
Throughout the limits of time and space
In the end without leaving a trace
But I want to leave a trace, in you
Together, we can see this through
Because both you and I are missing a screw
The time seems to be going by quicker
But the insanity surely grows thicker
Its not making us sicker
But, more alive
That we strive
To take a dive
Into the unknown
Not alone
But away from the flesh, skin and bone
We felt it since we started to exist
It was something that would continually persist
We were part of that special blacklist
Since that first breath of air
We could not compare
To the rest of the software
Let’s change the constant repeat
Make everyone and everything else obsolete
I’m that missing piece to your puzzle to make you feel complete
Give in to me
The thirty three
Give in to me
The thirty three
Give in to me
The thirty three
In her eyes, I’m not a monster at all…

5 Likes
#22

Wow…I love your rhymes.:ok_hand:t4:

1 Like
#23

Hi Will My name is Kathy Nice to meet you. I will be 60 on Dec 30 i live in Wisconsin I work in a powder coat factory 15 yrs My job is to clean all the hooks , masks, and rework or whatever is needed to hang parts to be painted Some of the customers we have are John Deer Harley Davidson Walmart Lights Cover Girl Cree they are street lights Postal Mailboxes the blue ones from streetcorners just to name a few Yea this time of year is rough for alot of people your lyrics are terrific You have talent I love all of Linkin Park songs every single one is unique but when i came across Chester singing My December from 2008 and its in 3 versions Well I"m sentimental words cant describe the feeling i get listening to it Makes a person really think deep down Well I hope you like what i said A new friend Kathy

1 Like
#24

Thank You, glad you like them! :slight_smile:

#25

Thank you very much for taking them time to post . I’m nearly half your age but I’m glad that I have gotten some people to at least reflect through what I write. I myself thoroughly enjoy My December, it is such a simple but yet beautiful song. Everyone carries their own demons, stuff that keeps them down and doesn’t permit them from “evolving”. But we as humans have to look past differences and help each other out in times of need. Thank you once again for your kind and reflective words.

#26

The next song I will show you guys is from my first mixtape “Where Do I Go? It’s All a Show!”. I wrote this mixtape at the same time as my 2nd “Sane Asylum”. Released them also at the same time lol. The song is “Busy Days”, it talks about how the family unit is becoming a thing of the past, because we ourselves don’t have time for our own loved ones and flesh and blood. But enough of me, here it is:

Such busy days
With work to keep us distracted, like a mouse in a maze
Forgetting about family because well, the job pays
Family missing the old ways
Realizing it was just a phase
Those days they would highly praise
But now, they barely get to see
Because, you have to work hard for them, what a catastrophe Missing that valuable family time
All to make ends meet from dime to dime
Why isn’t considered a crime?
Such busy days, ongoing like a loop
Wondering if you are a dupe
For not concentrating more on your family group
Missing important memories with wife and kids
Because you are working for successful bids
It just seems family is something that society now forbids
Your family growing apart Is this what you wanted from the start? Because its a real aching in the heart
Not getting a chance to share with your children before they depart All because you wanted to give them the best, like a work of art
Not watching them grow
Has set their respect for you to so low
That you will probably never know
What being there for them was really all about
That day by day you worked so hard, all-out
Now you are left without
Any compassion
Hatred from your family like its the latest in fashion
All to put a daily ration
On their table
Its seems all like a fable
Starting from the cradle
All the way to the grave
As your presence to your family you deprave
While the work keeps you as a slave
Keeping you away from your cave
Its a double edged sword
Of how many children you can conceive and afford
While in the end, there’s no real reward
So, what really is your priority?
Are you in the minority
Who will question societal authority?
Or with the majority
Conformed with this way of living
And not getting to share any family time until Thanksgiving
Because time goes so fast, it can be unforgiving

Such busy days
It doesn’t cease to amaze
All the delays
Of what a simple phrase
Can do To make your family feel a positive vibe from you
But it never happens, and gone like a canoe
Those times that seem worthwhile
Are gone through the Nile
Because of this certain lifestyle
Where’s the love gone? All of it withdrawn
Because your just another pawn
Wasting your best years
On non sensible careers
While that entire family connection disappears
Not leaving any souvenirs
But just tears
Of what you never saw
Because of this certain societal flaw
Just like any other following this silly law
Pay more attention to your loved ones
Especially your daughters and sons
Because their future depends on you tons
Make your partner feel at home
Never alone
A feeling so unbreakable like a stone
It just may take a while to soak in
Now ask yourself where to begin?
You know you can find the answer within
Don’t miss out on them
There all you got in this life, your biggest gem
Make more time for them and don’t condemn
These are such busy days
With work to keep us distracted, like a mouse in a maze
Forgetting about family because well, the job pays
Family missing the old ways
Realizing it was just a phase
Those days they would highly praise
Do you really want that?, take time to appraise

3 Likes
#27

Well now, I will go in order since I’ve given you all a taste of each an everyone of my mixtapes. This next song is actually my favorite song that I have written. I wrote it quickly, but it seems to have an impact on many of my friends. This is from my 2nd mixtape, “Sane Asylum”, the song is called “Pinnacle”. The topic at hand I mention is that we as a society have reached a really high point in our lives that everything is handed to us. Information, Fashion, Norms, etc. But we actually forget to look at the past and fall for the same thing again. To the point where no one speaks to eachother, and social media seems to be more anti-social than anything. This is Pinnacle (the Instrumental used for this is Drake’s “Poundcake”, I love it lol.)

Lyrics:

We’ve reached a pinnacle
Oh so cynical
It seems so fictional
From the jungle to concrete
In a heart beat
From modern shoes on our feet
To easier accessible meals to eat
We been separated from our roots that complete
Us
Park the bus
Sit down so we can discuss
How far we’ve advanced
How our lives have enhanced
We’ve been given a purpose by society, that it has financed
Think if we were still in the jungle, would we survive?
Would we even still be alive?
We’ve evolved past that but we have deprived
Ourselves, from answers that we don’t seek
Even afraid to speak
While we constantly are reminded of our “purpose” every week
We’ve become something that we are not
How is it that we’ve forgot?
How did we even get caught
In this trap?
Presented in gift wrap
Full of half truths and random crap
Technology
Let me find the right terminology
Has made us detach from ourselves that we need in-depth psychology
So advanced but yet so lost
At what cost?
That it started to exhaust
Being able to talk
Or take a walk
Around the block
Seeing all the many faces
Many places
Different races
But now your phone gets all the gazes
Stuck on a screen
Even before you’re a prepubescent teen
Until it becomes a common routine
Seems more of a regression
Because of societal oppression
Like robots afraid to even show a facial expression
Question is can it be changed?
Everyone has become so estranged
That it will probably remain unchanged
Nothing can be done
They left their brain out the cage and now it’s on the run
Left out to rot in the sun
Ain’t it fun?
I think we’re done
As a species that let common sense shun
How is it that we ended up from point A to point B?
At which point of the family tree
Did we fall off it, and left our brain absentee?
I’m not talking about a college degree
Because even those mean nothing now, you see
Read 'em and weep
My words are so deep
They will sweep
You, off your feet
Trying to keep it discreet
Instant mind fuck, that you wouldn’t want me to repeat

We’ve reached a pinnacle
Oh so cynical
It seems so fictional
Norms
That everyone conforms
They don’t question it in any shape or form
Accepting
More instead of rejecting
The ideas set forth that they should be dissecting
It’s amazing the filth that’s been promoted
There are people out there that are devoted
For a change that will be exploited
Me as a person
Just sit down and analyze as it starts to worsen
Now its a done deal and frozen
As now it seems our own fate we have chosen
We think what we are doing is ambrositian
A little vocabulary
Is oh so necessary
For words you may think are temporary
It’s all connected
We’ve been infected
Injected
With a virus that’s seems to not be able to be corrected
We have defected
To something that has been presented
Society is a corruption of humanity
Implementing vanity
And it’s own terms in sanity
How did we reach a point of being so manipulated?
Ideals and morals under appreciated
Societal flaws that we assimilated
Purpose that you are given
Mind driven
Wasting time on unneccesary etiquettes can be unforgiven
Is life really what you are told?
Are societal expectations really made of gold?
Seems more like your role is beginning to unfold
And in turn has left you cold
As the secret you start to behold
Controlled
From the very beginning, was better left untold
A purpose that you enrolled
Into, with a simple parole
This feels like it’s happened before, its specific
Horrific
That’s why they left us with all these hieroglyphics
Our real purpose gone in the wind
For that, we have all sinned
As the sand in the hour glass, thinned
We need to go back to our roots
Put on your boots
I know this ideology will get disputes
As of now we’ve reached a pinnacle
Oh so cynical
It seems so fictional

2 Likes
#28

Hey Love it Love it More please more

1 Like
#29

I am glad you like my writing Kathy, I really appreciate your words! :smiley:

#30

Going back to my 1st Mixtape, this is one of the simpler and softer songs I have written. Thus, I called it “Simple Beauty”. This song is about a young woman that caught my attention on the train and I had sort of a crush on her but, never was able to even talk to her because I am more of an introverted nature. But here it is Simple Beauty:

Lyrics:

I don’t know how to approach you, or get your attention
I feel like were in a different dimension
Like saying something is out of my comprehension
But this feeling being locked up is causing plenty of tension
To me your ideal
I want to show you how I feel
My goal is your heart, that I shall steal
If I were to make this a reality
I’d have a different set of mentality
Completely loyal to you in totality
I’d ask you to not let go of my hand
I’ll take all the pain for you that I can withstand
I’ll be your savior upon command
Because I’m the one that can guide you to promised land
I’ll make a reality of what you have planned
Anything your heart desires on demand
But how can I make something seemingly impossible
To start becoming possible?
Manifesting an elegant way to show you I’m responsible
It seems you have been around me all along
Are you the one that I am meant to belong?
I want to give it a try, I see no wrong
Day by day I see you on the train
I hope I don’t act inane
Because the way I’m feeling is driving me insane
Wanting to find the courage so you can let me explain
But for some reason, I always refrain
Its coming to the point where its becoming a pain

I wish I could know where to start
But after all this time, its only causing me a disjointed heart
I want us to be like beautiful work of art
Free flowing
Outgoing
Deciphering the unknowing
Your face glowing
With happiness, as with your hair blowing
Through the wind, with all the love and affection I’m showing Simplicity at its best
Let’s forget about all the rest
Unleash this feeling, which we have forever suppressed
Your my source of inspiration
These words don’t need no further translation
To show that you are my admiration
As my heart starts to palpitate
At the site of you, render me to fascinate
How much of a liking I’ve taken to you to validate
That what I feel is for real
How much longer can I conceal?
That to me your ideal
I want to show you how I feel
My goal is your heart, that I shall steal
Maybe some day
I’ll find the right things to say
To finally make these feelings give way
To something so beautiful
That its undisputable
Forever fruitful
Its only a matter of time
There isn’t a mountain high enough that I can’t climb
Thanks for listening, I hope you enjoyed this rhyme

1 Like
#31

That was wonderful Thank you

#32

Yeah soft but meaning full I’m up now eating breakfast fresh coffee and having my morning fix on music

#33

Glad you liked it @kathy357. Shall I continue with more songs? Seems like this thread is dropping back in the burner xD.

#34

Woow, what a flow man, gonna read it again rn… just great thoughts and conclusions :sunny: Very inspirating :muscle:t2::+1:t2:

1 Like
#35

A great songs

1 Like
#36

yes please do :us::musical_note::musical_note::heart: But take your time Its worth the wait

1 Like
#37

Gracias Amigo!! :smiley:

1 Like
#38

How do you came up with so many great lyrics

1 Like
#39

Well, today since I been a bit absent from the boards, doing stuff and enjoying the holidays. I am going to post 5 songs today from my different mixtapes. Hope you guys enjoy so STAY TUNED!

@turners34 This is a GREAT question! It’s hard to explain a source of inspiration at times. For me, I just look into myself, my imperfections, my fears, my tastes and also everything in general going on around the world. I have gone through so much in my mind, that practically can show most people a different way of viewing the world. Its pretty controversial actually. I myself have also done much to better myself around all this time I have been writing (2013-2017).

When you seek answers to something that just “doesn’t feel right”, it can send you through a downward spiral and induce so many feelings. Such as fear of questioning and seeing beyond what we have present. But once you reach a point of no return, all you find is bliss. A bliss that even your past demons seem to attack. I don’t know if I’m making any sense lol.

But I THANK YOU so much for the kind words. They mean A LOT to me seeing as most mainstream music just isn’t that good…

If you ever want to talk about “soul searching” topics, message me. But have a very open mind, that’s all I ask. :stuck_out_tongue:

#40

Will do @kathy357, I actually have all of these songs recorded. I have about 70ish songs give or take spanning my 6 mixtapes. I have some unreleased stuff that won’t make the light of day as I just don’t lean towards those ideas anymore.