Today really was a test of my strength and composure from literally the second I woke up… i was woke up by a phone call from my fiance, who I thought was asleep next to me, I answer it and say hello several times, no response.I hung up then text him saying"u keep butt dialing me". Then he calls my phone back, all I can make out from muffled screaming and other strange noises was “I cant f*@ken breathe! I’m dying!!” I immediately jumped out of bed trying to get him to answer me as to where he was and what was going on… after several hang ups and lost connections, he was literally having a complete breakdown. So to explain a little today we were going to court to stop our landlord from trying to evict us.We had a solid case built against him but over the past 2 days it slowly crumbled and became a big nothing, kinda,the only thing we still had(sort of) was the rent we withheld for mold issues not being taken care of. Back to my fiances(Chads)complete break down.So apparently we were short $800 to bring to court to make everything ok again for rent owed.Well Chad had a stupid idea spring into his mind to fricken go and try to take the money we did have to the casino to try and win what we were short.He hasn’t gambled in like 11yrs when our daughter was born.He lost all of it.On his way home where was a detour bringing him through back country roads and he couldnt see he couldnt breathe was in a full panic attack. I couldnt be mad at him, I understand why he did it. Also it would not have helped anything.I was screaming, bawling on the phone trying to convince him he’s not a worthless POS like he kept saying he was.Trying to convince him our daughter and I needed him, that we were going to be ok.He wasnt listening he wouldnt tell me where he was cuz he wasnt sure. We kept getting disconnected, then he wouldnt answer.It was the worst start to any day ever.While trying to talk him out of whatever he was thinking of doing,not wanting to do it but it was my last hope I had to wake up our daughter in the most horrific way. Her little terrified face when she saw mine and as I handed her my phone to tell her daddy that we love him and need him very much, completely broke my heart.But it helped bring him home to us.We ended up not needing to pay anything at court we are going to trial next week,so we have a little time to peice everything back together.I apologize for the rambling story but I really needed to share this.It’s been such a hard thing to keep all my anger and own fears and revealing how hurt I was over everything he took upon himself to do to myself. He’s doing ok but he’s still on the edge. Our daughter knows it’s not totally ok but we are both trying to make her feel like it will be. If you read this whole thing… Thank you for caring:heart: #MakeChesterProud
Heeeeey… I’m so very sorry to hear your story the part about your daughter is especially gut wrenching but totally understand how he needed to hear her =]
There’s no instructions on how to go through life, we’re all winging it-I mean, I’d want to smack your husband upside the head when he’s doing better for putting things on chance but as you said yourself, in his point of view he maybe was doing something that could change what was going on…
He’s there with you, your daughter loves you both…that court battle can go whichever way it goes but the fact that you have each other will not and should not change
My family (parents and I-just like you three) got here with nothing all the same, lived in rooms, garages, what have you in the beginning but the whole family now has grown and is solvent at the very least…I say it as a reminder of what you already know-you can pull through no matter what life throws your way okay? That losing homes or not having them to begin with or not having a penny in your pocket does happen- it’s a test of character and nothing more you sound like you have a fighting spirit and that can move mountains if you wish to pull your husband’s ear and grind at it til y’all are on your feet no matter what the situation is
Sending you three a big hug and positivity and the best luck possible on that trial! May the truth prevail and help you guys out with giving you time to get back up
You’ll be just fine you’ll see
Thank u very much!
I can’t read your post right now. Not feeling strong enough. Sorry.
But know you are not alone!
We are here!
Big hug and a smile for you!
So sorry you’re going through this. Never an easy thing to have happen. I’m glad your fiance is ok. Things will all work out in the trial you have coming up. Stay positive. Hugs to all of you
I’m sorry to hear this. Sending you strength for you and your family. I hope everything will get better.
I don’t really know what to say, thanks for having opened up to us, please keep holding on, it’s not ended yet, wish everything will be alright
That is, indeed, a rough day! I’m so sorry you are going through all this.
This hit home, as I have an 11 year old, as well. And depression/anxiety/the stuff that convinces you you’re “a POS,” as he said.
I wish you well.
Just stay strong, for you and your family. They say with great strenght comes great responsibilities, I say they got it all wrong. I think from great responsibilities (difficulties), comes the greatest strenght.
There is one very good saying: “Can’t rain forever”.
Just stay strong and keep smiling until the sun comes up.
I truly appreciate all of your love, your kind words and all the encouragement each of you have given me. Thank you. It means more than you know right now.
How are things going? Any news?
Hey, all you good people, let’s try something new. I will make a new post - let’s share something small but positive from today, tomorrow,… until something good builds up and when someone feels he/she need to cheer, just to look at the posts and say: “Hey, Life is Beautiful, it is true that it is hard, but it is worthy”.