I had a rough night, mentally. I’ll have days where the grief over Chester will just hit me in the stomach, and I can’t recover. It seems like every small thing is reminding me he’s gone. I had one of those days more than ever today. By the end of the day when I was heading home, I felt completely done and just wanted to give up on today. I felt sick of everything. I grabbed my mail, went inside, and noticed a package from Linkin Park. I’d only ordered one thing, and somehow, it had arrived two days early.
The pin of Chester’s signature.
Its the small moments like these that keep me going. Those reminders that he wouldn’t want me to give up on anything. Seeing “#makechesterproud” printed under a photo of him and realizing he wouldn’t want me to just quit. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone in my day, like he was sitting next to me when I opened that package, like he’d handed me that pin himself and told me to keep going. Yes, grief hits hard. But I can hit back harder knowing it’ll make him proud.