My demons will always win

We Love You Chester
#1

This is something hard for me to share, seeing as how when I tell family or close friends in my life about my situation it turns into a joke. Nobody takes me serious so I thought I’d reach out to the LP community…
I’ve been battling with depression and anxiety for almost 10+ years, and my demons always seem to get the best of me. Suicide has haunted me for years now, the thought lingers in the back of my head… When I was 16 I overdosed on pills… eventually I would find any way to hurt myself, still till this day. Although that’s never anything to be proud of… I’ve never had someone to talk too… I’ve convinced myself nobody cares about me and became a monster pushing everyone in my life away. I’ve lost myself trying to find myself again but my demons keep winning and I feel that I’m failing to hold on… everyday that goes by I’m just barely holding on by a thread… I’m not looking for sympathy. I guess I’m just trying to vent, because nobody I know will listen.

My demons will alway win…

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#2

Hello,
I’m glad you turned to somebody for an outlet, and just so you know there always is people that do care
Please consider joining this other thread I have linked because there has been conversations regarding situations like this
Reading some of it might be helpful and maybe you might have some input for others’ situations as well

Aside from this other thread though, my first thought I was that perhaps you’ve just opened up to the wrong people or that perhaps you haven’t given the chance to someone who would listen…sometimes the help you need comes from the most unexpected places-maybe this is your unexpected place and I or someone else may be of help to you
If anything, I am here to listen to what you have to say and I can tell you that I would try to be there for support or advice in any way I could
I hope that you can let Your defenses down and trust that neither myself or anyone else on here will be judgmental seeing as many of us have similar stories or come from other various hardships

Have hope that you can make those demons lose in your life…you deserve to win and you’re not alone if you choose to not be :slightly_smiling_face:

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#3

You’re not alone! I am in the same boat as you. I have attempted suicide a total of 3x now in the past 20yrs, one being as recent as last week​:pensive:. I have even lost my brother to suicide 4yrs ago. That’s what set my last attempt off …i have listened to LP since the beginning and their music is what saved me. But Chester’s death hit hard and I couldn’t figure out why. I have tried to talk to friends but they quickly cut me off when it gets too dark…and my fiance has never had to deal with any of this, so he doesn’t show much patience…i promise you I will never judge you and as I’m learning neither will this community :blue_heart:

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#4

First of all, thank you very much for share your story with us. I’ve been here since February 2017 and I can assure you that can find the answers that you’re looking for. We help, play and annoy each others but the principal thing is: There is always a Soldier who will listen to you. Please any thing that happens with you and you want to tell us, do it freely. We are family and really will help you in all we can.

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#5

Hi!
It’s very brave of you to share your story. As the others said before me: No one will judge you here or anything like that. We’re here to help each other in anyway possible.
I used to be like you, especially when I was a child. (Heck sometimes even now.)
I got the strength when I realized that my mother needed me. It was a messy time back then. Short story: my sister fell in love with a jerk and turned against my mother (betrayed her, lied to her and even went as far as to steal form us.). Anyway she took it really bad. Especially 'cause they used to have a good relationship. And my father couldn’t really be there for her at the time.
Anyway I think that it was then when I just suddenly left it all behind and tried to help her as best as I could.
I don’t know if this helps for you but I think one way to get through is to find something or someone who/what you can concentrate on, something that lets you escape that for while. And also to have the will to never give up.
You are a great person who is worthy of happiness and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You are meant to be happy so do what makes you happy. Whetever it’s music or dancing, writing, playing basketball or drawing. Do it everyday and by time you’ll be able to live more happily.
I took at least 4 years for me so it’s not easy, but you are worth it. :blush: I hope it helps something. :relaxed::hugs: And also sorry for the long reply. :no_mouth:

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#6

Thank you ALL for your kind words. Its be a tough long battle of mine that I deal with everyday but your support means more than anything. LP has always been my escape and will continue to be my escape. Along side with each and every one of you. Thank you for your uplifting words. I couldn’t thank you all enough. :heart:

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#7

Your awesome and kind. You rock! And if there’s anything we can help in or just don’t feel good remember we’re all here for you as best as we can. :smile:

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#8

See you’ve got a ton of unconditional support :slightly_smiling_face:
Never hesitate in reaching out

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#9

There is one way:
Being happy by yourself because you deserve to be happy. I hope see you one day and see a happy and strong soldier.

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