My Broken mind by Stephanie

The Barracks
#1

My mind broken in parts
With an aboned heart
There’s nothing to find
So I leave my save behind

I resfue to appect the fact
Even though every thing is white and black
Then I turned into the person you never wanted
But the change as already stated
That little girl inside
Has sadly died
Her gental heart gone
And all that’s left is her song

My heart turned into ice
Ready to be scattered
Cause nothing else mattered
And I waste my time by

   ( R.C )

Not apecting the fact
Even though every thing is white and black
Then I turned into the person you never wanted
But the change as already stared
That little girl inside
has sadly died
Her gental heart gone
All that’s left is her song

With your mind filled with all these fantasies
And what’s lelf is unanswered mysterious ( 4 times)

     RC
8 Likes
#2

Sorry about all the errors but my phone doesn’t have spell check

#3

Well written and quite sad as well. What does R.C. mean?

About the spelling, just google the words that you’re not sure about.

1 Like
#4

Repate Chours

#5

Ok will do just my phone sticks so it may be hard

#6

Thank you I glad you liked it

1 Like
#7

Another tip: you don’t have to post 3 separate replies. Instead it’s easier and cleaner to combine them into one post :grin:

3 Likes
#8

The feel that swaps over to me reading these lines is sadness- on the change to rage… well done! And rage has so much more power than sadness! Curious about how it is going on @turners34

1 Like
#9

Good that is the song that I was working for torrmow for my writing club

#10

I am doing well and I hope my writing club likes this song as much as you guys do

#11

You need to determin what the chorus is because you have 2 parts (beginning and after 1st verse) that could be read as a chorus

1 Like
#12

Not bad at all it’s so sad but I like it

1 Like
#13

Thank you I glad you like it and thanks for all the positive feedback I just hope my writing club likes it

1 Like
#14

Reminds me of “Carousel” for the HTEP in a way. “And at night she cries away her pride, with eyes shut tight, staring at her inside”.

Just keep at it! Just try to correct the spelling mistakes when you can though, as some words can be taken for others. But I fully understand it. Kudos!

1 Like
#15

Yeah my phone doesn’t have spell check but as soon as I can get to a computer I will fix them and thank you for taking your time to read my song