GP: Gender VS Sexuality

The Back Room
#21

@Shoegaze4u , @cctjehh and @Matt Nice discussion!

In the holistic view, many factors have influence human sexuality : the physiological factors, mental factors, cultural factors etc.

@cctjehh Your comment about pedophile is interesting. Seems it’s unfair for someone have this condition to be judged in bad way.

@Matt It’s the nature of human to have a negative feeling with something difference from them, not only for homo but also to everything such as insulting by compare with the animals. It’s unfair too.

For me, whatever it is (mean to everything), it has valuable itself. Everything was happen because they’ve a proper factor but the most important is what’re they act (whole for individual, social or global levels). If there’s not harm for themselves and the other, I also respect in their actions and reasons.

#22

[quote=Shoegaze4u][quote=ZoeLinkingal][/quote]Our hearts are telling us, who we truly love. We can’t change our “system software”. And to claim, that this is possible, isn’t honest.

I reckon your teacher is married, maybe he has kids. How can such a lucky person, talk about things, that never happend to him? Maybe he should invite a homo and ask him about his “choices”.[/quote]
Exactly, your point is right.

I’m not sure if he is married but even so, I do not think he should have made such a claim with sexuality being a choice. Choosing who you want to be with for the sake of public appeal would be a different type of choice altogether from who you’re really attracted to and love :slight_smile:

[quote=cctjehh]anyways all this leads me to another point, what do you think about pedophiles? I mean I think we can all agree on the fact that it’s wrong and awful etc. etc. BUT, WHAT IF you get born with an attraction to young children? I mean if you can be attracted to women, men, elderly people, why can’t you be attracted to young children?[/quote] Good point, I’ll tell you what I think of pedophiles.

The term pedophile is there because the society ranks age with terms like children, teenager, young adults etc etc. They - the society - view the rank of children as incapable of decision nor consent thus, if an adult were to engage in romantic or sexual activities with the children, the adults automatically becomes a pedophile.

I half-heartedly agree with the ranking system but the view of it would have to be changed. If the child is willing and loves the adult in a way more than a friend (they don’t HAVE to have sex, they can kiss and cuddle and go on “dates”) then I think the law or society should respect that decision. This concept will tie in with teen sex before the legal age. Again, the legal age is set by the society which alters the views on several issues. These systems are far from perfect but we don’t have much of a say.

However, I’d like to take a stand here. Being a pedophile and being attracted to young children is completely different. Now, you can’t choose who you’re attracted to, yes BUT, I’m sure you can control your urge or not. If the child doesn’t want to be sexually molested by you nor have sex with you than respect that. Those who don’t respect that are pedophiles.

If you want to masturbate in private with child porn than go ahead, we have sicker fetishes in the world don’t we? Just so your fetish does not involve a kid, does it make it anymore “right”? If you like to cuddle with a kid or kiss him/her on the lips without the sex part, and if they feel the same, then go ahead. Bath together whatever, I think it’s alright. But the law doesn’t think so. Well, that is my view on pedophiles :slight_smile:

#23

I already stated my opinion. But I can tell you from a friend of mine. If you hear her story, it will dispute my conclusion.

She is about 30 years old by now. She was homosexual since she was a teenager. Certainly she had different female lovers. And in the end she lived with a women for a few years. They rented a house an they already thought about marriage (yes, it’s possible in Germany). But for some reason, I don’t know why, she came in touch with a male guy. And this realtionship grew. Finally she ended her partnership with that women and began a new one with that man. Today she is married with him and she has two kids.

I guess, to understand the human psyche isn’t easy. And maybe it’s good so.

#24

[quote=Shoegaze4u]I already stated my opinion. But I can tell you from a friend of mine. If you hear her story, it will dispute my conclusion.

She is about 30 years old by now. She was homosexual since she was a teenager. Certainly she had different female lovers. And in the end she lived with a women for a few years. They rented a house an they already thought about marriage (yes, it’s possible in Germany). But for some reason, I don’t know why, she came in touch with a male guy. And this realtionship grew. Finally she ended her partnership with that women and began a new one with that man. Today she is married with him and she has two kids.

I guess, to understand the human psyche isn’t easy. And maybe it’s good so.[/quote]
She might have been bisexual though but was more inclined to females than males in her younger days, but that’s not sure. I think girls and woman are pretty similar but boys and man are really different in terms of masculinity and maturity. Different people are attracted to different and sometimes specific type of characteristics and maybe the new man for her is just right for her :slight_smile: only she will know though. Congratulations, btw, to her!