I am having a hard time dealing with someone I live with. The place where my family stay at is a one bedroom apartment. There are four adults (my bio mom, her boyfriend, me, and my husband) and two kids (a five year old girl and a three month old, boy) living in this place. The two (my mom and her boyfriend) sleep in the bedroom and we sleep in the living room, spread out. Needless to say, it is chaos. I am working to get us out of here.
Her boyfriend stays up really late, I would say around 3am every night. When I first got here I had basically the same schedule as my children do, with a couple of hours for wind down time at night. At night, mainly, but also during the day, her boyfriend would sit at his computer desk, which is right next to the couch where all of us sit when I’m feeding the baby or whatever, and stare at me. Yes, there is a tv, but he does it even when it is not on. I have caught him staring at me when I was laying down for the night as well. For security I take my blanket and wrap myself up in it, like you would a baby. It is freezing in the living, especially where we sleep, window style air conditioner, the air blows directly on us, so I wear a hoodie as well. I put the hoodie over my head and put the headphones on blasting the music (Linkin Park playlist). It is the only way I can relax enough to sleep.
If we were not living with him I would have said stuff like “What are you staring at?” or “Take a picture, it will last longer.” Actually scratch that, I don’t want to know what he would do with that picture.
I mean usually if I notice someone is looking at me my automatic response is to smile at them, if they are attractive blushing usually follows, lol, and that is the end of it. Sometimes that starts a conversation. But, this has gotten to the point where he is making me feel like a Playboy pin up and he is pissing my husband off. I tried talking to my mom, but she always defends him. The vibe he gives off is very unnerving. He gives me the creeps. The last time I had a vibe like his the guy had ill intentions. Lets just say I had to get a restraining order and leave it at that. I don’t know him well enough to say if he has ill intentions or not.
Has anyone had this experience with someone before? What did you do? I am really at my wits end. I even hide behind pillows, stay out of the house as much as I can, and retreat to another room, when possible so he can’t see me.
Have you tried talking to the guy directly? Next time he does it ask him what he wants but in a polite way or get your husband to talk to him. I’m terrible at advice, sorry.
I gave him that, “WTF do you want,” look a few times. My husband hates the guy. He does more than just stare he is also a jerk all round and likes to pick fights with people, especially my mom.
I guess, it’s the dieect sign that you have to move. What is the reason you can’t live separatly?
Finances, but my bank is working on a financial solution for us. It will take some time, but we’ll be out of here soon.
Is it Florida, right? The rent is very expensive, I suppose…
“Soon” is quite unclear term. Would be better if it was next week. Anyway, good luck with your situation.
Yes Florida is really expensive. It’s hard to get a job around here. We just moved to this county three months ago (lost jobs and eventually everything else). We had a car on lease and was renting in the previous county. We didn’t have anywhere else to go, really.
Soon as in it depends on our credit. If our credit is shot the bank is going to work with us to raise it up enough for a first time homeowners loan, but it could take a couple of months to do that.
The resources, as in governmental, suck around here too. Florida just sucks.
Wow that sucks man! The guy sounds like a real pain in the ass.
Have you confronted him? Like, not just give him the look but actually told him that you are not comfortable at him staring at you like that?
Maybe you guys should like, trap him? Trick him to act out like the bastard he is so that your mom gets to see it too? If she still defends him then she is blind, sorry.
Hope you get to find a place of your own asap because that sounds like the only real solution.
You know, that’s not a bad idea. Thank you.
My mom is pretty blind to it. The way he treats her borderlines on abuse. She has been stuck in that cycle all her life. I’ve been talking to her about it, even offered to take her in, once we move out. I used to be in her shoes, before I met my husband five years ago. It took me that whole five years to heal from it. Not an easy cycle to get out of.
I’ll try what you suggested and let you know how it works out.
Worst case scenario you can say that he accidentally tripped and fell out of a window 
Sorry, bad joke.
LMAO. Now that would be something
Take a video to have evidence, if you’re really determined to try such a trick. Would probably not help with the mom, I think. They never listen. Like kids.
Our cell phone would work for that.
If it goes wrong, we’re not to blame
Of course not lol 
I just had a moment a little while ago. The baby was staring me down. I said something like, “Yeah the baby is one of the only ones I mind staring at me.” I said it loud enough so he could hear me. Everyone was in the room. My husband about busted a gut laughing. He (the jerk) didn’t say a word and kept his eyes off of me. Maybe that worked. Maybe it didn’t. It worked for the moment.
That worked, but backfired. Now he is starting shit and my mom is so messed up. I mean to the point I’m about to stop trying to help her. She defends him and turns around and bad mouths him. I don’t understand why she is even with him. Before I came here I haven’t seen her since I was 5. I was adopted, it was a closed adoption. According to my medical records some really messed up stuff happened. Despite how much hate I harbored in my heart most of my life, I forgave her and gave her a chance.
I feel very torn between wanting to bond with her and getting far away from her and her creep boyfriend.
Personally I’d walk away. You gave her a chance, she messed up.
You know maybe instead of delaying time to ask people online maybe it will be more relevant to…idk call the POLICE!!!
Or you can pull out an Ouija board :3 that helps as well.
Every family has their struggles. Sounds like yours had a rough start to begin with. It is good that you forgave your mom and want to give her another chance. She must’ve had a rough life too, from what I understand. It is sad that your mom allows herself to be mistreated by such a bunhole. Blinded by what she thinks is love. Seeing a parent going down hill in whatever way is very frustrating. The problem is that they don’t see the problem or don’t want to see they have a problem.
Again, I really hope you and your husband and kids get to find a place of your own. That seems like the best solution.
Stay strong 