Anxious Beyond Belief

[acemasters]

So for a few months now, we (me and the family) have been preparing to move from my home city of 34 years to a seaside town which should be completed in a couple of months

We are going from living in a 2 bedroom flat on the 10th floor in a high rise to a 3 bedroom house with a garden and garage and stuff, some would say luck guy

Far from it

This wasn’t my idea for one, but am going along for the ride, moving from where I called home for so long is making me a little edgy, like yeah im glad we are getting out of the [spoiler]shithole[/spoiler] area we live in and we are getting a bigger place with more freedom, but this place is where i’ve called home for so long

I got people telling me “ah you’ll get used to it” and so on and so forth, maybe I will, maybe I won’t
I am torn still in not going at all, but that comes at a very high price, if i don’t go, well the missues will take the two kids to live in this house and then what, i miss out on seeing them all the time, hell not my watch
And I love my partner very much so i am putting my trust in her that this is the right choice

But the anxiety doesn’t stop there, nooooooooooo
You see my work place can’t transfer me to place nearer to there which means i have to look for a new job, something I have not needed to do in over 10 years
And this is where my anxiety is going into overload
Because I have been looking for work out there and there is not much, the majority of work I have already applied for and to no prevail

So now I’m like what if I can’t get a new job by the time we move, it’s my job to provide for my family
It’s my duty to make sure there is food on the table
It’s down to me to make sure we have a roof over our heads

How inadequate I feel at the moment doesn’t even comprehend how I am right now!

I feel worthless and useless, i don’t have many outlets and needed somewhere to let loose

My partner, she already knows how anxious I feel, but i don’t think she fully understands just how badly I feel that way

I won’t take up much more of this topic, but just really needed to let off steam

[framos1792]

Hey man,
If I can believe anyone can let this out in a constructive manner, it’s you dude…
that’s a hell of a lot to take in and I’m sure from the sounds of it that it all came at once in a short span
I’ve heard the saying that good things take time but great things happen all at once… I’m trying to throw it out there for a little positivity because for all we know at this point, it will be the best thing to happen in your life!
I know that’s a stretch, I know how these pressures are all bubbling up to the surface but there’s still time to figure stuff out ok? One day at a time working at it and whether it’s tomorrow or the next t day, there will be a breakthrough that will bring you relief! As shitty as stuff has gotten in life, one thing I do know is that if you search it out, there’s always a way through or around the hard situations and I trust that that clarity will come to you
It’s flipping awesome to hear a man know his place the way you’re doing, being there for the family before you, and knowing it falls on you or us to be the head-far too often people lose sight of that and I just want to say that is something incredibly commendable on your part- don’t let that “I’m useless” bs so much as come near your mind dude, that’s far beneath you, the simple fact that this is gnawing at you with worry shows your importance and your value! Like I said, some worthless asshole would turn his back on the situation and fold, that’s not you, you’re pushing through and that makes all the difference

The anxiety won’t just magically go away but hold steadfast, have faith that the light will shine through, and I know the path forward will arise for you bro

[acemasters]

Thanks @framos1792

I hear what your saying and try telling myself these things
But its so much easier said then done
You aren’t wrong though, this is all happened in a short span of time
It is the very reason i decided against going to the Mike Shinoda concert
That saying “good things happen one at time, but great things happen all at once” is from the movie Rat Race , never the less it made me smile

Im glad that someone one out there has taken the time to respond with a such postitive out look to my situation and i thank you for that

I am taking each day as it comes, but with each passing day is a day closer to the move, i would feel much better if i had a job out there to fall on because that is my biggest worry, not being able to provide for the most important people in my life and that is my biggest fear

Never-the-less, i think overall the move will be good for the whole family, be a fresh start for them and a much better way of life as well and these are just a few positives i take on board

Again @framos1792 thanks for taking the time to respond

[anna834]

Hi @acemasters,
I gave your post a but I am not sure what to say .
I can totally relate to your feelings.
But any help?
I hate new things, I hate change. But if you would know me, you wouldn’t believe it, cause I live a life were the only constant is change. So always fear and struggling. The thing from my experience I can say is, all the things I was anxious about und tortured me at nights, never ever happened. All the terrible stuff that happened, I never ever expected. So I say that to me, to calm me, cause way bother than? You can’t control your thoughts, but you can let them be. Let them floate, know that they are always coming up with bad stuff, let them. And I try to look behind them, to the real feeling, jump in the feeling. Its often the anxious, unprotected little me. And that, I try to comfort.
Wish you all the best and luck!

[lpfan61]

You’re always very honest…
First of all, don’t underestimate youself!! You’re full of good skills and it means you have many possibilities out there…just don’t be scared of searching for changes…sometimes they’re necessary and they can lead you to a better place/position, for you and your family!
As @framos1792 said, now you feel all the pressure on you, but then, I’m sure, you’ll feel satisfied of where you are…
I don’t know how far away you are from the new place, but maybe you should keep working where you are while you’re searching for a job there, maybe it’ll be hard but you’ll be sure to have money… or just save as much as you can so you don’t have problems for a while… I don’t know…

Sending strenght and good vibes your side!!

[StephLP18]

I agree with @framos1792 you have a lot of strength and you will get through what ev The world will throw at you. You always have a family that will be with throw every step of the way.

[lpfan61]

@acemasters how’s going with the changes?

[acemasters]

Well 3 weeks from Monday i’ll have finally moved

So still content

[lpfan61]

Good luck!!

[Honey8]

You got the job?

[acemasters]

Yeh start next week

[Honey8]

Good luck for the first day!