It’s hard to think that it has been three years since hearing the tragic news that my idol died.
The first year, was the hardest, I tried to prepare myself that it was coming, I even did a listening party with my LPFORUM family, and it was a nice feeling to be together, but was tragic under the circumstances, it was hard to have a good time during it, but at the same time, to quote Mike “Chester would want us to have a fun.” By this point I had been able to listen to the majority of Linkin Park songs, but songs like Crawling (Piano Version), Numb and One More Light, was the hardest to listening to, I poured my heart into something that I wrote, The Year That Followed, which can be found on this forum, and i felt humbled by the responce.
Anyway back on topic, that first year, was hardest, for me, for others also, possibly, maybe.
Two years on and I admit by this point, I had reached the point of solece, I had come to terms of Chesters passing, not to the point that I would forget, or that I wouldn’t celebrate him, but more to the point I had come to an understanding about my own emotions, my own feelings, and that it was okay, to feel okay. On the flip side, I had expressed that if others hadn’t reached that point yet, that was also okay, that we all have our own process of dealing with this.
Well the third year is here and what can I say that I haven’t said before. Maybe to share something that happened to me during the third year. I was on the way to work, and I was so pre-occupied that I completely forgot that it was Chesters birthday, when I finally relized, I was listening to Numb and I was on the bus still, I started to cry, guess no matter what, I guess I will never be truely be okay, but I will still celebrate him, listen to his greatest songs and I will continue to be inspired.
I read an interview with Mr. Shinoda on NME and a question on there was, Grey Daze has completed their album Amends, have you heard it yet and he responded “No, I can’t bring myself to listen to it, it’s just to painful”
My heart broke for him, I felt so bad for him and not going to lie, I felt a little guilty, because I have moved on, in the sense that I can listen to his voice with no problems, with coming to terms with it. It made me realize that there are many people that to this day will impact more then others and I just want to say, again, it’s okay not to feel okay, it’s okay if you’re still hurting, it’s okay to be in-tune with your emotions.
Remember to celebrate Chester, go out and make him proud.
I just want to say
Thank you Chester, truely, thank you for all the music you gave us.