Sharing Some Lyrics I Wrote for An Upcoming Album - Constructive Critiques Welcome

#1

“Crazy/Beautiful Post Traumatic Depression” (Working Title - feel free to suggest new song titles/ideas)

[Notes about the song - this was originally inspired by my personal experiences, and hearing the stories of many survivors of the mental health system abuses that’s happened in the last 20 years or so, and how we’re all suffering systematic discrimination in the form of racism, xenophobia, ableism, transphobia, homophobia, queerphobia, etc., and I decided to combine their stories and my story/personal experiences in the first and third person storyteller’s point of view when writing the lyrics - I honestly thought this would be extremely hard to write, given all the shit that’s happened in our lives in the last few years for everyone around the world, such as losing Chester Bennington, and songs like “A Reason to Fight” by Disturbed and “1-800-273-8255” by Logic that came out a while back and all this political madness that’s been going on in USA and around the world, plus the song featuring Chester B. called “Cross Off” before his death, and eventually, this song came to fruition and is currently being worked on for instrumental tracks in the studio, and then I’ll be recording vocals to it and have a special guest vocalist on the song as well and probably write a re-mix version of it with a rapper doing a verse or two on it. I hope you all enjoy the lyrics here, and I’m welcoming constructive critiques to help me improve it later on if need be - Namaste, October]

[Verse 1]:
Reliving, retraumatized
Try forgetting, but I’m dead inside
Just drifting in and out of dissociation
Living on the edge of a broken mental health system
Transphobic you are
Racist you are
Xenophobic you are
Fucking ableist you are
When will you open your fucking eyes to help me and everyone?

[Chorus]:
This place right here
in the skull between my ears
A bad neighborhood I don’t wanna walk alone in
This place right here
in the Darkness of my subconscious fears
Years of pain forced to stuff deep down within
What I’d give to be alive
Rather than having wasted days gone by

[Verse 2]:
No cures, only addictive tortures
Swallow bitter pills that doesn’t work
World passing by, people walk through me
Ignored my cries, so I hide my face and sleep
Queerphobic you are
Misogynistic you are
Fatphobic you are
Fuking oligarch-controlled you are
When will you realize that we’ll destroy Big Pharma that controls your broken system?

[Chorus]

[Bridge]:
No pills, fuck your apathy
Time for the system to embrace radical change
No institutional abuse, fuck conversion therapy
Time to free our minds from these asylum cages
No water torture, fuck your shock therapy
Time for the doctors to suffer like we did
This is your last chance to convert to the progressive revolution
I fucking challenge you to live my life and learn empathy!

[Hook/Break]:
We are not your kind!
To the norms we are not confined!
There’s no binary, only the non-binary!
There’s no cis heterosexuality, only open minded sexuality!
There’s no transphobia, only transgender rebel souls!
There’s no stigma, only inclusive disabilities!
Fuck your narcissistic blaming!
Fuck your mental health shaming!
We are not your kind!
We are not your kind!
We are the motherfucking future!

[Chorus] x2

You’re just wasting me and my crazy/beautiful days away
In the revolution inevitable, there’ll be hell to pay
Your sadistic methods no longer will be my downfall
Your Nazi Amerikan corporate healthcare system will crumble as we tear down the walls
Your days are fucking numbered!
Your days are fucking numbered!
Your days are fucking numbered!
Your days are fucking numbered!
Tomorrow, we’ll finally see a better world
Where mental health, disability, sexuality, addiction and gender identity is no longer stigmatized…

[ENDS]

[Additional Notes about the song - I had some concerns about some of the lyrics, and how it could potentially be too long or possibly not making 100% sense, but this is where you come in with your constructive critiques to help improve it - this will actually be recorded, and I’ll write in the linear credits that I had some help from the LPU fanclub members around the world when mentioning who helped write the song with me in the album’s lyric booklet soon]

If y’all like what I did so far while suggesting new changes to the lyrics to me, feel free to reach out to me in a private message to learn how you can support my life’s work as a trans musician/singer-songwriter/lyricist/MC - all links should be showing on my profile, but just in case, I can send you the link to my official website via PM.

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#2

Welcome on forum! :sun_with_face: :smile:
Strong message in your lyric! :smiley: Don’t know if it needs some changes… :thinking: it’s good like that… :smile:

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#3

Thanks! I was a little worried about one part of the song being a little too long for when I go in to record it this summer, so that’s why I was asking for constructive critiques to help improve it, but if it is good like this, I’ll give it a shot when I get to the studio.

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#4

Yeah, I think you can give it a try and see if it needs some changes in process… :wink: good luck with it! Let us know how it goes! :grin:

1 Like