I’m over-doing myself… I’ll probably be disappearing for a while again in the next days…
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You talk to the wrong Anna here
Didn’t expect less 
Sigh 
Oí oí oí no no noooo! 
I need you around here 
This afternoon has been the most invigorating fun I’ve had in a couple weeks
Don’t go turning your back too 
you took up the mantle of Wonder Woman, you buckle up those lady braces, pack your funnel and lady up
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Oí! I’m talking to you about this convo here…
Come on, you know I appreciate way to much!
Especially the fucked up humor!
I know… I try but some days I can’t help myself… I need to shut down all communications then…
I’m actually still a complete mess… But I try
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I take you what ever way!
Dang. I must be insane to hit send.
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Glad to know I can be taken 
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I just seize the moment.
It’s probably Christmas till we talk again.
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I thought about suggesting to change to the chat.
But didn’t want to risk anything
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I know that promise 
Did you read the word “promise” in my answer? 
I’ll try… That’s all I can promise… It’ll depend on what my body will be doing the next months… The one problem hasn’t fully been solved yet and the next is already there (I’ll Tell you about it one day)…
So, fingers crossed
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I can imagine some thing with that 
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You know me already, so …
Man up!
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Feel free 
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Also for you two… Make up your minds!!!
It’s the same so …
Oh and sorry… I know that sentence all to well… A lot of people who said that to me (ended up dead, uh no…) had to review their opinion after they had seen me as I am in my “normal” life…
The time to man up is long gone…
It’s holding on time now…
I’m not complaining now. I want you to understand.
@anna834 you, who spend your days outside all the time… Imagine now that tomorrow morning you can’t even take 3 steps anymore without falling and you can’t hold yourself because all strength in your arms is gone… Without knowing how this happened.
That was me 14 years ago… Since then I still have little strength and hurting legs…
Now imagine that you have 11 years to get used to that situation and your (forced) new way of life. And you succeed at that… You’re even happy to live again…
And then suddenly your life crumbles apart again because, years after year, different parts of your body are starting to fail, even to the point of life treathening… And it doesn’t stop anymore…
That’s the point where I’m at… Not knowing if next year you’re still be here (because when will the most important body parts fail? )…
And every day you wake up feeling happy to still be alive but being angry at the same time because you know these (painful, exhausting, boring) days will never go away anymore. Knowing that you’re in reality just a big burden to your loved ones, even if they say you’re not.
I’m at the point again where taking one stairway is a ten minute job, at the point that I have to stop halfway doing the dishes because I’m exhausted and full of pain…
This is the point of not manning up again…
This is the point choosing between giving up and holding on… I did the giving up thing last year and that wasn’t the solution so holding on is all that’s left.
And I stay away from here at the worst days, the days where the only thing that I would do here, is complaining and whining. And I don’t want that anymore…
So give me my “disappearing”… I always come back anyway 
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