If you prefer to listen to the Lying from you while you reading this story:
Linkin Park – Lying from you 2:55
Eventually he gave in, in time. Missing proper intimacy with a woman. Always panicking day after, swearing not to do it again. Fearing he will get trapped in the fatherhood. He swore never to see any girl again. Only to fall for the next ‘’angel’’ that was hitting on him hard. Feeling like a ‘’criminal’’, stealing their time away from them. Knowing, he can’t pretend that he is who they want him to be. Constantly changing his address to avoid them afterwards. It was also convenient, because many times he relocated to a different place, closer to his current martial art studio/school. He wanted to get his old life back. No commitment. Telling them to let him go, telling them that the worst part of them, is him. Now he was using the old: ‘It’s not you, it’s me.’ He didn’t even know why, it would have made it harder for the girls in the long run, just like before. But not for him, it would have made it easier, to feel better about himself. Just, didn’t really care about them that much, he never let it go that far. It would have been too much pain to carry around for him, for too many times, if should he let it go that far. He didn’t want it to be this way, but as much as he wanted to have just one, and the same girl when he need her, it wasn’t possible. Not yet, same reasons as before. He wasn’t finished yet, he was still chasing his goals, his dreams. He made sure, there would be nothing holding him back. Nothing to consider before he surely moves to the next place sooner or later. Closer to his current place of interest. And that, there will be nothing for them to miss (him). Lying his way away from them. Pretending that he is a bigger asshole than he really was. He was simply too logical for them to understand. But he was also a young man exposed to temptations. ‘Cannot stay ‘’monk mode’’ forever.’ To him, he was the trophy, not them! ‘Was it really a bad thing letting them have access to something, that they would probably never have access to otherwise?’
He knew that there would be always the next “angel”, there are so many beautiful girls out there to die for. ‘How many guys are like him? Look like him? Have ambitions and self-control (Oh, the irony) like him? Can offer same protection? Had potential to make as much money as him in the future? Them? What else they can offer, but a beauty that will fade away soon? He was the trophy! And he will ‘not be trapped!’ Not yet…Either way, he was always honest about his intentions: sex = yes, anything else = not interested.