My mom committed suicide when i only 20yrs old…she shot herself in the head n was found 2 days later w the police breaking down her door…i am now 38yrs old n to this day still cry…there os no exact way to “get over it” the lost feeling will always b there…u know…i listen to alot of music and talk abt it w close friends…people who actually listen to you not just pretend too…i re-enrolled for college n now have to boys myself…15 n 9…my best advice to to pick a hobby or focus on ur career…im not sure how old u r but redirect ur attention…u get me…it will take away the spare time u have to get down on urself i have a glass of wine mayb twice a week…im not against alcohol i luv it but try to bring it down to a reasonable in take…if u want to talk more u can message me…take care of…we r all here for u
Damien - where do you live? I mean, what city? Even though you are underage, you’re somehow managing to have access to alcohol and weed. Those are not the right tools for fixing the imbalance of juices in your brain that regulate your ability to cope with your immense loss.
In your community, I urge you to seek out mental crisis centers. I had a devastating break last October. In my area the hospital had an emergency mental health clinic. The first step was getting medication to help regulate brain chemistry so that I could cope with overwhelming depression and anxiety.
Most of these medications are inexpensive - if you can afford week and alcohol, you can afford medication. There are numerous therapy organizations that will provide service for free or no cost. Since you’re underage, you can demonstrate inability to pay $150 per hour (or much of anything). Mental health is vital - and to get you there, you really should be on medication.
Once you have medicine, you can then fully engage in your percussion activities and engage in the other terrific ideas presented here to take out your anger, frustration and hurt on. Not many of us are able to pull a Shinoda and dive deeper into your work. But mind you - he has a support structure of Talinda, his family, and the huge awareness campaign they’ve built to assist him in his grief.
You state your father thinks medicine and therapy is baloney - so how can you “Make Like Mike” without a support structure that he has? It means you need to take the reins. If you find you are in a crisis situation and ready to do something harmful to yourself, you must go to the nearest emergency room. Hospitals are equipped to handle mental health breakthrough crises. Yes - they’ll notify your father - but then real ass doctors can explain you are suffering beyond just being sad that your mom is gone.
There are options. Use them.
Hey mate i gotta say you have a fair bit of insight ibto what your going thru. That is going to be your best friend. In terms of feeling motivated to stay doing music, or using any of your other coping skills, i can say that when your grieving or depressed sometimes you have to just go through the motions of doing things like music practice etc even if you dont feel like it. Im not saying it won’t be hard but dont let depression take you down by having it destroy your motivation for the things that keep you healthy then one day wake up with depression lessened but you have lost skills in things your good at, lost friends because you couldbt be asred keeping the connections there when you werent well. I think you will be able to get through this if you first acknowledge that it will require work. Its not fair that you will have to work harder than the folks who are happy and not drowning in loss, but it will require work just the same. I like to think of it as training just as an athlete does. It hurts like shit but the end result is worth it. Also keep a mood diary. Sounds lame but seriously worth it. Its hard to analyse maladaptive patterns if you aint got no data. My folks bever used to let me see a psych even when i begged. Im older now and have left home and my current psychaitrist has found that my old diaries and mood recordings from when i was a kid that i did in secret very helpful even though its more than a decade old.
Also fun pro mentally ill trick …have ‘on’ days where you work at shit analyse, challenge yourself etc but have days off too. Because it is work you need days off where tou dobt thibk about it and just feel, veg out and do jack…
I’m sorry for your loss. I can’t speak English well but i will try to write as soon as i can. I know it’s hard but you want help, this is a hope. Never forget you are a strong person, all will pass. What is the name of our fan club? Soldiers, yeah we are soldiers. We fight the hardest things like the soldiers in the same battle.
Please don’t think bad things. Come out, breathe, talk to somebody, feel the sunshine. Life is long, we should make our life better. Every new day is anohter chance to change your life. You can do it, i believe you! Don’t forget your mission Soldier! You will fight hard things and than you will win.
Damien, where are you bro?
What have you been up too?!
There is alot ahead of you, just take one step at a time!!
Thanks “German Rodolfo”!
It’s no secret that the LPU and the Linkin Park community in general is always looking out and helping one another. With Chester’s passing, that bond has has only grown stronger.
As several people have mentioned already, I think the key to living any kind of life is just by taking things a day at a time. You can’t change what happened yesterday. You never know what’s waiting for you tomorrow. The only thing you have complete control over is how you live your life today, and how you choose to spend your time.
I find that it also helps if you’re keeping busy, both mentally and physically.
Find something that peaks your interest! You mentioned that you’re a musician, and I think that’s great. I took piano lessons for a year when I was a kid, and with the piano we have in the house, I’ll occasionally find myself playing it, and learning to play something new (usually by ear or by means of YouTube, and speaking of which, you can find me there at lp13413).
As a kid, I joined the Cub Scouts, and eventually crossed into Boy Scouts, so I grew up doing things like camping, and hiking, and canoeing/kayaking, etc. I love doing outdoor activities, and with the weather getting warm, bicycle season is here!
Sometimes, all it takes is trying something new, or maybe something you never considered even trying.
You’re still a youngin. You have a lot of life to live, and a lot of time to sort things out.
Hell, if you want, we can turn this thread into your own form of therapy. Don’t be afraid to reach out if you need anything. You have a support system here.
Sorry so late
The best thing to do is just try please try to cope without smoking weed or drinking too much that shit gets really addicting plus it’s really bad for you maybe you can talk to a friend or a family member or you could talk to this loving and caring family the Lpunderground We are always here for you when you need to talk to someone just lay off drinking and drugs that won’t help that’s only temporary relief you feel like shit afterwards plus it’s bad for you
Yo yo… Damian bro, what’s new brother!?
Just wondering what you’re doing how you’ve been and if you need someone to talk to. We’re here for you, just Reach Out and keep in touch.
Thanks Vines Motion!
Keep in touch…