Well, if it does end up winning, it will probably be the most grim, it’ll be very tricky to put a funny spin on it, but I’ll try. It’s probably the entry that is the most personal / closest to where my heart would be out of all of them.
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I’ll have to read this tommorow. Its almost midnight here
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my fave line lmao do whores sweat?
oh yeah when they are doing their jobs LMAO
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yaaaayyy ive got a brother i’m an alien
reminds me that ive got to finish that book
exactly just like for me people who meet me after several years and they say hey you’ve grown up or when they see me with mum they ask her is she your daughter?or even they might say you do resemble your mum a lot as if i had to resemble my neighbours
reminds me of a song “and it sucks to be you” im joking XD
same but im neither tall nor left handed
actually im the shortest of the family seeing tall punks make me feel sad though
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I’ll be closing the poll tomorrow morning, now’s your chance to vote if you haven’t.
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Entry 6 is ready. I’m really not sure how I feel about this one, it definitely has a different tone to all the other ones, but I think I’ve written it well enough for it to not be a disaster. Or I could be totally wrong and it’s another disaster like Inferno. lol
Entry 6: WARNING! Side effects include but are not limited to: crushing realisations.
Entry 6: WARNING! Side effects include but are not limited to: crushing realisations.
Those of you who know me will know that I suffer from chronic boredom, this entry is dedicated to that boredom. This entry is one that I’ve been putting off, because I’m not sure how to effectively convey what I want to say (rhyme not intended), hopefully I do it some justice as this one is probably closest to me. Over the past few years, boredom has taken me down various paths, some lighter than others, I’ll try to start with the funnier stuff, but this entry will take a darker turn at some point.
Boredom is something I face literally every day. A lot of the time I partially kill it with music and YouTube, but sometimes it isn’t enough. Such occasions have led to things like my personal projects or me doing something stupid just to keep myself entertained. For me there’s nothing that kills boredom like working on something practical with my hands. It’s why I chose to do engineering in uni (ironically, it’s a mostly theoretical course). And what better way to improve my practical skills and kill the boredom than working on my projects? Banshee and Hellhound were born of boredom. How can you tell? Well, Banshee is a 70-mph toy and Hellhound is a 30-mph flamethrower that works to a degree.
Boredom has also led me to a few odd hobbies such as people watching. When I’m doing the daily grind and travelling to uni, I’m not usually on my phone and I’m rarely listening to music. Instead what I do is I observe. I observe people’s behaviours, subtly listen to their not-so-quiet conversations, but there’s only so much to see before you realise that most people on the train are like a herd of braindead robots. So, obviously, I become bored, and then what? Then there’s just wallowing in my own misery. Of course, you do see and hear some funny things, such as the time I overheard a pair of stupid high schoolers bickering with each other like children on the bus. What was funny was the topic of their argument. They were arguing about geography, the highlight of the argument was when one of them said that Korea and Japan were the same thing, to which the other replied that they’re not and that Korea was in Africa. For a moment I thought they were American, my urge to just turn around and bitchslap some knowledge into them was immense, but I wanted to see how far the argument would deteriorate, unfortunately, they got off at the next stop.
Boredom is probably my biggest demon; my motivation has dropped off a cliff because of it. Sometimes I can’t even be bothered to get up and do something to entertain myself. I’ve reached the point where I need to be doing something new all the time to be happy. I experience something once or twice and then I get bored. Paintballing? Been three times, was bored halfway through the second. 73m roller coaster? Bored after three rides. Interesting place? Bored after going three or four times. Been to one concert, probably won’t go to another. I was a gamer of ten years, at one point it became an addiction. And you know what? I got bored of a fucking addiction.
Briefly to talk about theme park rides. I get so bored on those that I think of random things to do as I’m riding them, last time I was at a theme park, I was caught by several ride cameras looking at my watch as I was timing the rides for the table I was working on. The one guy on the ride, so bored that he’s looking at his watch while everyone else is having a blast. I was so bored that day that I had more fun coming up with a wait time / ride time table and calculating the ratios and averages in my head while on the ride, usually mid-loop. I’m that guy that stays completely silent and holds a neutral face for the entire ride while everyone else is screaming their heads off.
I have a thirst for novelty and adventure that I can never seem to quench, I love to travel and explore but I don’t exactly have the money, or the time. I also live in Greater London which is a totally boring place, there’s nothing interesting to do, though that could be said for pretty much the entire UK, excluding a few places in Scotland and Wales.
I sometimes get lost in thought when I’m bored, and my mind goes to places and comes back with some crushing realisations that I just end up not giving a fuck about, because that’s what boredom does. It makes me indifferent to everything, I just don’t fucking care. I say indifference is the key to inner peace and in a sense, it is, I am fairly at peace. I don’t even care about some things that I probably should care about. All this stems from my realisation that life is ultimately pointless.
We’re here, and for what? Just to be locked in a cycle of pointless monotony and call it a purpose because we know no better. We’re born, we grow up, as we grow up we learn so that we’re prepared for later life. Later life comes and then what? A new wave of monotony comes, where you work for money so that you can have a good life, but you keep working and don’t have time to do anything but work for the money. You retire, you might have some money left, and then what? You’re too old and senile to do jackshit, all you can realistically do is moan about your bad back and how you wasted your life. The only way you can really get around this is if you get lucky or if you’re smart or rich, but for the mass populace, that isn’t the case. And you know what? I don’t fucking care, it’s all a charade, a distraction until the time comes for us all to rot in a shallow grave.
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This! 
agreed
This (2)
This time there was nothing to laugh about, but unlike Inferno, I like this piece, especially the last part and it’s well written!
Keep it going!
EDITED
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Thanks, I said this one will most likely contain few to no jokes. And I think you mean ‘unlike’, not ‘unless’.
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Ups yeah, lol going to edit, thanks! 
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I’ve been asking myself this question for a long time
This is what the world makes life feel like. I’ve also had serious boredom issues, and felt like life had no greater purpose than to just be another gear in the system of society. But now I feel that life is what we make it to be, and I choose live life free…anyway, a good read mate
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Maybe it’s just a side effect of being an engineering student. 
I find that we tend to get bored because we usually understand things more easily.
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Yeah thats true
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With a bit of luck, I’ll be getting the next entry out tomorrow, but I can’t make any promises.
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Excuse me in Africa that one killed me
Ohh thank you I think I gotta get bored then I’ll stop giving a shit about peeps in this motherfucking life I think I have to try getting bored I need to urgently though
I need tips bro gimme some quick @the_termin8r
Well reminds me how I’ve recently been ranting on life
Each day getting older
Teenage life I’ve never been able to enjoy properly
In 2 years will turn 18 and will probably go to uni maybe I don’t even know if I would
Or going to work
Worse
If I don’t pass well these motherfucking Cambridge exams I’ll probably be jobless and just selling mangoes in the corner or worst stealing to earn a living life is just a cycle that it so boring though I understand you
Now you say going to uni you’ve gotta learn again then most probably at the same time working then what?Learn Work Home Sleep and then punks say enjoy life cuz life is short sorry but I don’t see it as enjoyable
Sometimes I wish to be an animal or an object life is much better this way
And then peeps ask me what I wanna do in the future
Excuse me but I don’t have any visions for the future
I don’t know what I want to do like to work
Fuck life
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Um okay. That’s nice to check out your writings.
I could read only half of one today. I’ll be reading all tmro and let you my feedback 
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With a bit of luck, entry 7 will be out this evening.
Here it is, entry 7, this one is called Petty Grudge and is about being the older sibling. Hopefully some of this is actually funny, I couldn’t work that many twisted metaphors and similies into this one for some reason. I think this is a 50/50 entry.
Entry 7: Petty grudge
Entry 7: Petty grudge
Those of you reading this entry that are the older sibling will relate to the misery of being in such a position. The title says it all, as older siblings (no matter how old we get) we’ll always hold a petty grudge against our younger siblings for the simple reason of them just existing. Or is the reason so simple? Well, below are a few instances that would hopefully justify an unjustified grudge.
Funnily enough, my problems didn’t start from the moment my sister was born, as is the norm, I was almost forgotten about by my parents, but that didn’t bother me at all since I’ve always been a solitary person, even as a kid. If anything, I was kind of happy to be left to my own devices for a bit. The problems started when she was old enough to walk, talk and actually do things.
The parental favouritism and hypocrisy is what has most been driving me up the wall for the best part of a decade now. Every time there’s some kind of squabble between us (and they happen often, we’re almost always at each other’s throats), I’m always the one that comes out in trouble and she gets away clean, even if I did nothing wrong. A good example is our last trip to Europe, final night in the final hotel in France. I was sitting on my bed fiddling with the McDonald’s toy she’d gotten that day, when suddenly she swipes at my head with something (it was a magazine, but at the time I didn’t see, I just saw something big and rectangular coming for my head). Instinctively, I put my hand up to block (while holding the toy), my sister misses and scratches her finger on the toy. She let out a shriek akin to that of a cat in a hydraulic press. My parents immediately come over and start shouting at me for attacking her, I explain that I didn’t, and they sort of believed it and gave her the most limp-wristed telling-off I’ve ever seen. It was something along the lines of ‘don’t do that again’ and then they turned back to me and continued lecturing me on how I should behave like an adult. I didn’t even attack her, I moved my hand up, not up and forward, it wasn’t defence through attack (my usual reflex), it was just plain defence.
The ‘incident’ wasn’t a case of me taking her toy without her permission, she’d given it to me. It turned out that it wasn’t even an attack, she swiped at my head as some kind of joke (not intending to hit me). I ended up winning the argument against my parents before she even owned up to it. I won because I told them that they’d just proven a point I’d made not 30 mins ago. I’d said to my mum that the entire time we’ve grown up, I’m the one getting in trouble every time and that if I come to them to sort out an argument (instead of dealing with it myself in my own way) as they’ve told me to, I still get in trouble. My mum immediately denied it. The moment I brought that up during the argument, both my parents shut up, and then my sister owned up to it…and she still didn’t get into any real trouble.
Then there’s the aspect of being the lab rat as an older sibling, in that everything is done to you first and then your sibling. It has come to the point where I get most of the presumed-shit stuff first and my sister gets the presumed-nice stuff first. I’m always the first in the dentist’s chair (not that I care) always the first to go through the pain of whatever is happening at the time. But if it’s something nice, it’s always her. Even in retrospect, she got her first phone at a much younger age than I did, she got to do a load of other things at a younger age too. And all of this is not because she’s a girl, I know my parents well enough.
There’s another truck-load of such stories, but I’ll skip those and briefly mention the more trivial annoyances that I have to put up with. For instance, the TV, I can never get to it even if she isn’t watching it. She’ll have something on, but she’ll be doing something completely different like reading or playing on her tablet and even having her headphones on. I’d make a move for the remote and she’d play the ‘I’m watching that’ card (when she so clearly isn’t), then my mum would activate her selective hearing and immediately tell me off without even giving the situation any thought, it’s like a reflex for her. Then there’s the fact that my sister never fights her own arguments or fights, she always gets my mum to fight them for her. Her hatred of leaving the confines of the house also means that we don’t usually go anywhere interesting. That’s also in part down to my dad because he doesn’t usually go anywhere without the entire family (which is awesome that he looks out for all of us), but, FUCK! You can afford to forget about them for a couple of short outings. We tend not to do a lot of father/son bonding activity types of things, and that’s partly down to her.
This is probably the part where I’m supposed to say something that makes everyone go ‘aww’ and…well…here goes. Regardless of what I’ve said above, she’s still my sister and I have to tolerate her, after all she tolerates me. And it’s worth it, because in those brief moments in which we’re not hurling insults at each other or fighting, it’s quite good. I’d still prefer it if I were a lone child, because it means that I won’t get in trouble, but it’s not all bad. The thing about me not getting in trouble when she’s not around is a proven fact that my parents have witnessed and still refuse to believe, when she’s not here, I don’t get in trouble. My parents have even made comments about how well behaved I’ve been (obviously not linking it to her absence). As I said though, a petty grudge. Not sure if it will ever go away or not, maybe someday.
Here’s the poll for the next entry. Only 3 titles left. This will close next friday (26/10/18) at 21:00 BST.
- Paid self-sabotage for the lazy
- Collateral damage
- Excuses for misanthropy
0 voters
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That’s a nice COM! 
younger sister here loool!
Now, seriously… 
well some things you said were true till a certain age… like the fact I had/did something at a younger age… but I wasn’t (and I’m not) the kind of person that want something because she had it…
As for the “scolding”, it was the contrary for me: even if I didn’t do anything I usually was the one scolded…
Well, actually me and my older sister didn’t fight so much and never for serious reasons…
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Cool man! This is totally something I could relate to. I’ll have to read it tomorrow though.
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Great story Rob
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