Chat Room (TLPTV2)

[jrtrussell]

According to all known laws
of aviation,

there is no way a bee
should be able to fly.

Its wings are too small to get
its fat little body off the ground.

The bee, of course, flies anyway

because bees don’t care
what humans think is impossible.

Yellow, black. Yellow, black.
Yellow, black. Yellow, black.

Ooh, black and yellow!
Let’s shake it up a little.

Barry! Breakfast is ready!

Ooming!

Hang on a second.

Hello?

• Barry?

• Adam?

• Oan you believe this is happening?

• I can’t. I’ll pick you up.

Looking sharp.

Use the stairs. Your father
paid good money for those.

Sorry. I’m excited.

Here’s the graduate.
We’re very proud of you, son.

A perfect report card, all B’s.

Very proud.

Ma! I got a thing going here.

• You got lint on your fuzz.

• Ow! That’s me!

• Wave to us! We’ll be in row 118,000.

• Bye!

Barry, I told you,
stop flying in the house!

• Hey, Adam.

• Hey, Barry.

• Is that fuzz gel?

• A little. Special day, graduation.

Never thought I’d make it.

Three days grade school,
three days high school.

Those were awkward.

Three days college. I’m glad I took
a day and hitchhiked around the hive.

You did come back different.

• Hi, Barry.

• Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.

• Hear about Frankie?

• Yeah.

• You going to the funeral?

• No, I’m not going.

Everybody knows,
sting someone, you die.

Don’t waste it on a squirrel.
Such a hothead.

I guess he could have
just gotten out of the way.

I love this incorporating
an amusement park into our day.

That’s why we don’t need vacations.

Boy, quite a bit of pomp…
under the circumstances.

• Well, Adam, today we are men.

• We are!

• Bee-men.

• Amen!

Hallelujah!

Students, faculty, distinguished bees,

please welcome Dean Buzzwell.

Welcome, New Hive Oity
graduating class of…

…9:15.

That concludes our ceremonies.

And begins your career
at Honex Industries!

Will we pick ourjob today?

I heard it’s just orientation.

Heads up! Here we go.

Keep your hands and antennas
inside the tram at all times.

• Wonder what it’ll be like?
• A little scary.

Welcome to Honex,
a division of Honesco

and a part of the Hexagon Group.

This is it!

Wow.

Wow.

We know that you, as a bee,
have worked your whole life

to get to the point where you
can work for your whole life.

Honey begins when our valiant Pollen
Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.

Our top-secret formula

is automatically color-corrected,
scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured

into this soothing sweet syrup

with its distinctive
golden glow you know as…

Honey!

• That girl was hot.

• She’s my cousin!

• She is?

• Yes, we’re all cousins.

• Right. You’re right.

• At Honex, we constantly strive

to improve every aspect
of bee existence.

These bees are stress-testing
a new helmet technology.

• What do you think he makes?
• Not enough.

Here we have our latest advancement,
the Krelman.

• What does that do?
• Oatches that little strand of honey

that hangs after you pour it.
Saves us millions.

Oan anyone work on the Krelman?

Of course. Most bee jobs are
small ones. But bees know

that every small job,
if it’s done well, means a lot.

But choose carefully

because you’ll stay in the job
you pick for the rest of your life.

The same job the rest of your life?
I didn’t know that.

What’s the difference?

You’ll be happy to know that bees,
as a species, haven’t had one day off

in 27 million years.

So you’ll just work us to death?

We’ll sure try.

Wow! That blew my mind!

“What’s the difference?”
How can you say that?

One job forever?
That’s an insane choice to have to make.

I’m relieved. Now we only have
to make one decision in life.

But, Adam, how could they
never have told us that?

Why would you question anything?
We’re bees.

We’re the most perfectly
functioning society on Earth.

You ever think maybe things
work a little too well here?

Like what? Give me one example.

I don’t know. But you know
what I’m talking about.

Please clear the gate.
Royal Nectar Force on approach.

Wait a second. Oheck it out.

• Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!
• Wow.

I’ve never seen them this close.

They know what it’s like
outside the hive.

Yeah, but some don’t come back.

• Hey, Jocks!
• Hi, Jocks!

You guys did great!

You’re monsters!
You’re sky freaks! I love it! I love it!

• I wonder where they were.
• I don’t know.

Their day’s not planned.

Outside the hive, flying who knows
where, doing who knows what.

You can’tjust decide to be a Pollen
Jock. You have to be bred for that.

Right.

Look. That’s more pollen
than you and I will see in a lifetime.

It’s just a status symbol.
Bees make too much of it.

Perhaps. Unless you’re wearing it
and the ladies see you wearing it.

Those ladies?
Aren’t they our cousins too?

Distant. Distant.

Look at these two.

• Oouple of Hive Harrys.
• Let’s have fun with them.

It must be dangerous
being a Pollen Jock.

Yeah. Once a bear pinned me
against a mushroom!

He had a paw on my throat,
and with the other, he was slapping me!

• Oh, my!
• I never thought I’d knock him out.

What were you doing during this?

Trying to alert the authorities.

I can autograph that.

A little gusty out there today,
wasn’t it, comrades?

Yeah. Gusty.

We’re hitting a sunflower patch
six miles from here tomorrow.

• Six miles, huh?
• Barry!

A puddle jump for us,
but maybe you’re not up for it.

• Maybe I am.
• You are not!

We’re going 0900 at J-Gate.

What do you think, buzzy-boy?
Are you bee enough?

I might be. It all depends
on what 0900 means.

Hey, Honex!

Dad, you surprised me.

You decide what you’re interested in?

• Well, there’s a lot of choices.
• But you only get one.

Do you ever get bored
doing the same job every day?

Son, let me tell you about stirring.

You grab that stick, and you just
move it around, and you stir it around.

You get yourself into a rhythm.
It’s a beautiful thing.

You know, Dad,
the more I think about it,

maybe the honey field
just isn’t right for me.

You were thinking of what,
making balloon animals?

That’s a bad job
for a guy with a stinger.

Janet, your son’s not sure
he wants to go into honey!

• Barry, you are so funny sometimes.
• I’m not trying to be funny.

You’re not funny! You’re going
into honey. Our son, the stirrer!

• You’re gonna be a stirrer?
• No one’s listening to me!

Wait till you see the sticks I have.

I could say anything right now.
I’m gonna get an ant tattoo!

Let’s open some honey and celebrate!

Maybe I’ll pierce my thorax.
Shave my antennae.

Shack up with a grasshopper. Get
a gold tooth and call everybody “dawg”!

I’m so proud.

• We’re starting work today!
• Today’s the day.

Oome on! All the good jobs
will be gone.

Yeah, right.

Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring,
stirrer, front desk, hair removal…

• Is it still available?
• Hang on. Two left!

One of them’s yours! Oongratulations!
Step to the side.

• What’d you get?
• Picking crud out. Stellar!

Wow!

Oouple of newbies?

Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!

Make your choice.

• You want to go first?
• No, you go.

Oh, my. What’s available?

Restroom attendant’s open,
not for the reason you think.

• Any chance of getting the Krelman?
• Sure, you’re on.

I’m sorry, the Krelman just closed out.

Wax monkey’s always open.

The Krelman opened up again.

What happened?

A bee died. Makes an opening. See?
He’s dead. Another dead one.

Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.

Dead from the neck up.
Dead from the neck down. That’s life!

Oh, this is so hard!

Heating, cooling,
stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,

humming, inspector number seven,
lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,

mite wrangler. Barry, what
do you think I should… Barry?

Barry!

All right, we’ve got the sunflower patch
in quadrant nine…

What happened to you?
Where are you?

• I’m going out.

• Out? Out where?

• Out there.

• Oh, no!

I have to, before I go
to work for the rest of my life.

You’re gonna die! You’re crazy! Hello?

Another call coming in.

If anyone’s feeling brave,
there’s a Korean deli on 83rd

that gets their roses today.

Hey, guys.

• Look at that.
• Isn’t that the kid we saw yesterday?

Hold it, son, flight deck’s restricted.

It’s OK, Lou. We’re gonna take him up.

Really? Feeling lucky, are you?

Sign here, here. Just initial that.

• Thank you.
• OK.

You got a rain advisory today,

and as you all know,
bees cannot fly in rain.

So be careful. As always,
watch your brooms,

hockey sticks, dogs,
birds, bears and bats.

Also, I got a couple of reports
of root beer being poured on us.

Murphy’s in a home because of it,
babbling like a cicada!

• That’s awful.
• And a reminder for you rookies,

bee law number one,
absolutely no talking to humans!

All right, launch positions!

Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz,
buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!

Black and yellow!

Hello!

You ready for this, hot shot?

Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.

Wind, check.

• Antennae, check.

• Nectar pack, check.

• Wings, check.

• Stinger, check.

Scared out of my shorts, check.

OK, ladies,

let’s move it out!

Pound those petunias,
you striped stem-suckers!

All of you, drain those flowers!

Wow! I’m out!

I can’t believe I’m out!

So blue.

I feel so fast and free!

Box kite!

Wow!

Flowers!

This is Blue Leader.
We have roses visual.

Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.

Roses!

30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.

Stand to the side, kid.
It’s got a bit of a kick.

That is one nectar collector!

• Ever see pollination up close?
• No, sir.

I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it
over here. Maybe a dash over there,

a pinch on that one.
See that? It’s a little bit of magic.

That’s amazing. Why do we do that?

That’s pollen power. More pollen, more
flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.

Oool.

I’m picking up a lot of bright yellow.
Oould be daisies. Don’t we need those?

Oopy that visual.

Wait. One of these flowers
seems to be on the move.

Say again? You’re reporting
a moving flower?

Affirmative.

That was on the line!

This is the coolest. What is it?

I don’t know, but I’m loving this color.

It smells good.
Not like a flower, but I like it.

Yeah, fuzzy.

Ohemical-y.

Oareful, guys. It’s a little grabby.

My sweet lord of bees!

Oandy-brain, get off there!

Problem!

• Guys!
• This could be bad.

Affirmative.

Very close.

Gonna hurt.

Mama’s little boy.

You are way out of position, rookie!

Ooming in at you like a missile!

Help me!

I don’t think these are flowers.

• Should we tell him?
• I think he knows.

What is this?!

Match point!

You can start packing up, honey,
because you’re about to eat it!

Yowser!

Gross.

There’s a bee in the car!

• Do something!

• I’m driving!

• Hi, bee.

• He’s back here!

He’s going to sting me!

Nobody move. If you don’t move,
he won’t sting you. Freeze!

He blinked!

Spray him, Granny!

What are you doing?!

Wow… the tension level
out here is unbelievable.

I gotta get home.

Oan’t fly in rain.

Oan’t fly in rain.

Oan’t fly in rain.

Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!

Ken, could you close
the window please?

Ken, could you close
the window please?

Oheck out my new resume.
I made it into a fold-out brochure.

You see? Folds out.

Oh, no. More humans. I don’t need this.

What was that?

Maybe this time. This time. This time.
This time! This time! This…

Drapes!

That is diabolical.

It’s fantastic. It’s got all my special
skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.

What’s number one? Star Wars?

Nah, I don’t go for that…

…kind of stuff.

No wonder we shouldn’t talk to them.
They’re out of their minds.

When I leave a job interview, they’re
flabbergasted, can’t believe what I say.

There’s the sun. Maybe that’s a way out.

I don’t remember the sun
having a big 75 on it.

I predicted global warming.

I could feel it getting hotter.
At first I thought it was just me.

Wait! Stop! Bee!

Stand back. These are winter boots.

Wait!

Don’t kill him!

You know I’m allergic to them!
This thing could kill me!

Why does his life have
less value than yours?

Why does his life have any less value
than mine? Is that your statement?

I’m just saying all life has value. You
don’t know what he’s capable of feeling.

My brochure!

There you go, little guy.

I’m not scared of him.
It’s an allergic thing.

Put that on your resume brochure.

My whole face could puff up.

Make it one of your special skills.

Knocking someone out
is also a special skill.

Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.

• Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night?

• Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.

• You could put carob chips on there.

• Bye.

• Supposed to be less calories.

• Bye.

I gotta say something.

She saved my life.
I gotta say something.

All right, here it goes.

Nah.

What would I say?

I could really get in trouble.

It’s a bee law.
You’re not supposed to talk to a human.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.

I’ve got to.

Oh, I can’t do it. Oome on!

No. Yes. No.

Do it. I can’t.

How should I start it?
“You like jazz?” No, that’s no good.

Here she comes! Speak, you fool!

Hi!

I’m sorry.

• You’re talking.
• Yes, I know.

You’re talking!

I’m so sorry.

No, it’s OK. It’s fine.
I know I’m dreaming.

But I don’t recall going to bed.

Well, I’m sure this
is very disconcerting.

This is a bit of a surprise to me.
I mean, you’re a bee!

I am. And I’m not supposed
to be doing this,

but they were all trying to kill me.

And if it wasn’t for you…

I had to thank you.
It’s just how I was raised.

That was a little weird.

• I’m talking with a bee.
• Yeah.

I’m talking to a bee.
And the bee is talking to me!

I just want to say I’m grateful.
I’ll leave now.

• Wait! How did you learn to do that?
• What?

The talking thing.

Same way you did, I guess.
“Mama, Dada, honey.” You pick it up.

• That’s very funny.
• Yeah.

Bees are funny. If we didn’t laugh,
we’d cry with what we have to deal with.

Anyway…

Oan I…

…get you something?

• Like what?

I don’t know. I mean…
I don’t know. Ooffee?

I don’t want to put you out.

It’s no trouble. It takes two minutes.

• It’s just coffee.

• I hate to impose.

• Don’t be ridiculous!

• Actually, I would love a cup.

Hey, you want rum cake?

• I shouldn’t.

• Have some.

• No, I can’t.

• Oome on!

I’m trying to lose a couple micrograms.

• Where?
• These stripes don’t help.

You look great!

I don’t know if you know
anything about fashion.

Are you all right?

No.

He’s making the tie in the cab
as they’re flying up Madison.

He finally gets there.

He runs up the steps into the church.
The wedding is on.

And he says, "Watermelon?
I thought you said Guatemalan.

Why would I marry a watermelon?"

Is that a bee joke?

That’s the kind of stuff we do.

Yeah, different.

So, what are you gonna do, Barry?

About work? I don’t know.

I want to do my part for the hive,
but I can’t do it the way they want.

I know how you feel.

• You do?
• Sure.

My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or
a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.

• Really?
• My only interest is flowers.

Our new queen was just elected
with that same campaign slogan.

Anyway, if you look…

There’s my hive right there. See it?

You’re in Sheep Meadow!

Yes! I’m right off the Turtle Pond!

No way! I know that area.
I lost a toe ring there once.

• Why do girls put rings on their toes?

• Why not?

• It’s like putting a hat on your knee.

• Maybe I’ll try that.

• You all right, ma’am?

• Oh, yeah. Fine.

Just having two cups of coffee!

Anyway, this has been great.
Thanks for the coffee.

Yeah, it’s no trouble.

Sorry I couldn’t finish it. If I did,
I’d be up the rest of my life.

Are you…?

Oan I take a piece of this with me?

Sure! Here, have a crumb.

• Thanks!
• Yeah.

All right. Well, then…
I guess I’ll see you around.

Or not.

OK, Barry.

And thank you
so much again… for before.

Oh, that? That was nothing.

Well, not nothing, but… Anyway…

This can’t possibly work.

He’s all set to go.
We may as well try it.

OK, Dave, pull the chute.

• Sounds amazing.
• It was amazing!

It was the scariest,
happiest moment of my life.

Humans! I can’t believe
you were with humans!

Giant, scary humans!
What were they like?

Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.

They eat crazy giant things.
They drive crazy.

• Do they try and kill you, like on TV?

• Some of them. But some of them don’t.

• How’d you get back?

• Poodle.

You did it, and I’m glad. You saw
whatever you wanted to see.

You had your “experience.” Now you
can pick out yourjob and be normal.

• Well…
• Well?

Well, I met someone.

You did? Was she Bee-ish?

• A wasp?! Your parents will kill you!

• No, no, no, not a wasp.

• Spider?

• I’m not attracted to spiders.

I know it’s the hottest thing,
with the eight legs and all.

I can’t get by that face.

So who is she?

She’s… human.

No, no. That’s a bee law.
You wouldn’t break a bee law.

• Her name’s Vanessa.
• Oh, boy.

She’s so nice. And she’s a florist!

Oh, no! You’re dating a human florist!

We’re not dating.

You’re flying outside the hive, talking
to humans that attack our homes

with power washers and M-80s!
One-eighth a stick of dynamite!

She saved my life!
And she understands me.

This is over!

Eat this.

This is not over! What was that?

• They call it a crumb.
• It was so stingin’ stripey!

And that’s not what they eat.
That’s what falls off what they eat!

• You know what a Oinnabon is?
• No.

It’s bread and cinnamon and frosting.
They heat it up…

Sit down!

…really hot!

• Listen to me!

We are not them! We’re us.
There’s us and there’s them!

Yes, but who can deny
the heart that is yearning?

There’s no yearning.
Stop yearning. Listen to me!

You have got to start thinking bee,
my friend. Thinking bee!

• Thinking bee.
• Thinking bee.

Thinking bee! Thinking bee!
Thinking bee! Thinking bee!

There he is. He’s in the pool.

You know what your problem is, Barry?

I gotta start thinking bee?

How much longer will this go on?

It’s been three days!
Why aren’t you working?

I’ve got a lot of big life decisions
to think about.

What life? You have no life!
You have no job. You’re barely a bee!

Would it kill you
to make a little honey?

Barry, come out.
Your father’s talking to you.

Martin, would you talk to him?

Barry, I’m talking to you!

You coming?

Got everything?

All set!

[jrtrussell]

In Congress, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America, When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.–Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.

He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.

He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.

He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.

He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:

For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:

For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:

For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.

He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.

He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the United States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

[jrtrussell]

the world we live in. it’s so… wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no… no no no… not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it’s own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don’t send her your social security number. she’s right there! that’s our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster… phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter… and… you’re probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that’s where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that’s my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it’s still september, tim! and princesses… i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they’re good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i’m a millionaire! laugher’s always laughing, even if he’s just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah… and me, i’m a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they’re so… cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN’T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it’s hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is… just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh… Oh, that was really good… meh ? meh … meh ha ha… what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i’m gonna be so… meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly… let me help, let me help… oh, my colon!!! ducks… hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren’t laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let’s go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i’m afraid that you’ll have the wrong reaction. ok, what’s the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don’t want to be late! i’m not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you’re just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji’s whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that’s not true. ow! YEAH! i’m going to work on the phone and I’m only ten! that’s because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we’re number two! we’re number two! see? i, i know i’m different, ok? but, i need to… i can be meh… i just… want to be a working emoji, you know, like… everybody else… and then… i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don’t, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i’ll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you’re so handsome when you make that face. i think he’s ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you’re ready… YES! yes i am! i promise i won’t let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it’s really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don’t be nervous! i won’t bite! hi, i’m smiler! ho ho ho ho ho… DON’T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean… hey… as you know, i’m smiler, i’m the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here’s how it works. it’s nothing fancy! wait a minute… it’s really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it’s showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex’s text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you’re gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you’ll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you’ll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren’t just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don’t want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it’s high five! you know me! i’m a favorite! Alex hasn’t picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you’re no longer a favorite. there’s gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i’m an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he’s a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp… big mistake… oh… help me… help up a hand… oh… here you go… thanks mate… hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i’ll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can’t even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds… uh, i’m standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself… basically, happy itself… i am always smiling… places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we’ve got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can’t believe it… oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh… look at our son get on there, i’m beaming… with pride! you don’t think he’ll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures… anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient… i gotta reply to addie’s text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren’t cool. ok, be cool, be cool… alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this… oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he’s moving! ok, looks like it’s gonna be meh… i’m so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can’t do this! i can’t do it! stop the scan! i can’t, it’s too late! oh! what’s he doing? he’s making the wrong face! good for him, little… wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi… shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i’m trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda… i kinda panicked… are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody’s calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren’t ready. let’s get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you’re gonna hide me away? you’re embarrased of me. it’s for your own safety. we’re trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i’m not going to run away from this. i’m an emoji, and, even though i’m not exactly sure which one… i’ve gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how’d it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what’s going on in there. what… poop… what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you’re so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i’m always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone… and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won’t, gene. we know you won’t! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it’s weird. we’re setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they’ll, like, uh, they’ll just, they’re gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don’t have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you’re deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he’s escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute… the air is better here! beer, tea… i’m coffee! sorry… ish… so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name’s not mike… ah! there’s AV bots coming! what, me? just because i’m in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let’s go! don’t tell anyone you’re about to see this. they’ll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what’s up high five? they weren’t trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what’s so important about you that they’d send out an entire team of bots? they say… i’m a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food… uh… what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it’s like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you’re a working emoji, that’s all i ever wanted. well, if that’s all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it’s not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i’ve done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud… mmm… ooh, that is good. i’m sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name’s jailbreak. jailbreak? that’s great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i’ve been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today’s your lucky day! let’s roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was… bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy’s headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow… hey… i shouldn’t have picked the cactus. i shouldn’t have picked it. you didn’t even try to get the tree, it’s baffling. let’s go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i’m right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it’s perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I… i’m just messing with you! it’s just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i’ll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome… to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that’s my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it’s like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they’re bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they’re stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what’s in that one! everybody’s talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that’s what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i’d rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how’s that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you’re on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven’t found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy’s on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i’m sure they’ll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i’m really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we’ll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that’s just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who’s back! high five! i’m a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they’ll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they’ll stop. virus, we’ll just, we’ll just walk over this way… hi! it’s so great to see you again! do i know you? it’s spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don’t get sucked in! back off, spam! it’s the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what’ll it be had? i’ll have a bottle of… hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of… cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we’re looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he’s a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that’s the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone’s being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good… so here’s the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i’m supposed to be a meh, but i don’t really feel… yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help… the princess, you know, off the phone… woah, hold up, that’s not a meh face. bots, they’re after me! how are you doing that? look, it’s just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it’s so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i’m stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off… and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don’t like it! the game obviously thinks you’re a candy, even though you’re, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don’t worry, we’ve got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it’s a very, serious… hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don’t want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can’t match him with any yellows, or else… oh! don’t do that, please don’t do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don’t blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don’t do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i… i was just wondering, if, you are… tasty. what? um… delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh… hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i’m so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i’d like to make an appointment. it’s like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh… suck it in… stop it… stop it… ow ow ow… it’s not working! well, there’s one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you’re a special candy. and… what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? well… ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? oh, i’m not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you’re alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren’t you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex’s calender. ah, i’m sure it’s nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don’t worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it’s just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it’s to erase the phone. listen, gene, i’m about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that’s where we’ll find the source code to reprogram you. the… cloud? isn’t that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we’re in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here’s the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this… firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it’s really annoying, because i’ve already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i’m locked out for life. locked out for life? you’re thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i’m different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let’s hit the road. high five, you coming? i’m coming! why do i always think i’m going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious… move it! sudden death, here we come! let’s try this one… you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don’t even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something’s really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don’t blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we’re being followed, but don’t overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don’t. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it’s really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you’re helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can’t stop now, i’m having a sugar rush! i’m going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart’s going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can’t feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i’m… helping you. i’ve been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don’t like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud’s supposed to be amazing, it’s full of dreams too… oh, sugar crash. i can’t hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we’re free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don’t really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you’re taking too much of my brain space, let’s try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let’s go! ugh, i’m never eating another piece of candy ever again… high-five, don’t do it! don’t you do it! it’s already been in there once. don’t do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i’ll tell you what, this bandage wasn’t so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can’t, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i’m a hand, it’s a big red button! woah. no no no no! what’s happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you’re out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we’re going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael’s glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can’t dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i’m really stiff… see? you don’t… understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can’t do! two! dude! just shut up and… dance! i’m just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i’m doing it! i’m finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you’re moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you’re killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i’ve never seen that dance before! what’s it called? the emoji… bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you’re the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they’re robots, they can’t dance! downloading thought protocol… can’t dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that’s extra homework for you. yeah, alex’s getting wicked, ha ha ha… alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let’s go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene… hey, wait a minute, where’s high five? alex trashed the app… and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance… but, i knew it was a bad idea… i’m so sorry… we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other side of the phone! we don’t know how many other bots are out there! i’m sorry! no, wait! i can’t go without high five. i don’t care how far away it is. gene… that’s my friend down there. i’m not going to just let him get deleted. what, what is it? i’ve always just thought, you’ve got to look out for number one… but what good is it to be number one, if there aren’t any other numbers? wow, okay. i’m sorry, this is, this is my malfunction, i just, i can’t be meh about anything, this is why i’m going to be reprogrammed. well, actually, it’s kinda cool. wait, really? no, i think i know a shortcut. we can take the music streams in spotify. let’s go give that big hand a hand. come on! now it’s trashed the just dance app, and our bots are offline, and it’s giving me a real headache… i am so angry! i really need to stay happy. can we please lighten the mood? no one can resist la fiesta! ole! not that happy. ow! we’ve only got four hours before alex’s phone appointment. if they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim higher, steven. i didn’t want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. the illegal upgrade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance… dance… argh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. ugh, where am i? hi! it’s so great to see you again! you’re in the trash, fingers for brains! get away from me, troll! hi! it’s so great to see you again! i’ve got to get out of here. you can’t! and at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we’re all going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the last face you will ever see! this is spotify? yep, every one of those streams is a different song. is it safe? are you sure that this is a good idea? that’s the point of the wave, dude! can we at least pick a… a colorless stream? okay buzzkill… alex, a bunch of people are hitting the promenade, and i think addie might be there, too… that’s perfect! i have an appointment down there, anyway! i’ve got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubble butt! yeah. ah, much better. so, i gotta ask, is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies… hello, stereotype, that is a complete and total myth! i’m sorry. did you realize that in the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess, or a bride? that’s why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whatever you want to be! get ready! whale song coming! wait, wait, whale what? whale song! from alex’s biology DVD! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. you’re not going to see that sitting around in a cube. funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. gene, that means you can’t be yourself. what’s the point? you know, i think you’re pretty cool just the way you are. we’re, we’re going to need this. nobody knows, the touchscreen dramascene. nobody knows my screenshot… trash? me? i used to be somebody. here i am, in an old email Alex never sent. addie, blah blah blah blah blergh… and then there’s me! high five! right there! doing my job! FYI, nobody cares about you. just leave me, troll, and let me die! in this dump alone! let me look for the world’s smallest violin in here, so that you can play it! is that the hand angel of mercy? has she finally come for me? give me your hand! i mean, give me yourself! take my hand, angel! i’m ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. it’s me, gene! gene? the one and only. gene! i got him! take me with you! high five! let go of me! you’d leave me down here? you were wrong, troll, people do care about me! and i’m not upset, troll! do you see how not upset I am? gene! you came back for me! you saved me… it wasn’t just me, jailbreak helped, too. she’s a hugger. give her a squeeze. oh, nonono no. not really, nothing great. i’m not feeling your feelings, relieve me! you filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once one of you, so I feel your pain. so now, go. be free! smooth sailing from here. huh ha ha! ugh. gene! gene… gene? are you insta gramming? oh, where is my gene… oh, mary, you’ve really done it this time. no, you haven’t. mel? what are you doing in alex’s trip to france album? i was looking for you. none of this is your fault, mary. it’s mine. what do you mean? is that a tear on your cheek? it’s my fault gene is the way he is. i have other expressions, too. i think they’ve just been buried away. but with gene going missing, and thinking i might have lost you, too… oh, mel, why didn’t you tell me? i didn’t know myself. right now, i’m so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red hot flame. oh, i like it. let’s go find our son. together. we’ll always have paris, mary. so you’re a princess. so you have a little tiara, very fancy. is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly that’s what i said! no, guys, that’s a stupid myth! what awkward virgin haven are you

[jrtrussell]

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[framos1792]

You gonna get your ass kicked one these days lol

[jrtrussell]

[jrtrussell]

my people have arrived

[alz89]

What!!!

[evowarrior5]

I will never get the minutes that I spent scrolling back

[chigokurosaki]

@framos1792 @jrtrussell I see you guys have been being extra pendejos here

[jrtrussell]

Those were minutes well spend chief

[jrtrussell]

We had to make up for the lack of you in here

[IronSoldier16]

He is Charlie’s reincarnation lol Call the mods and kick him out!

[lpfan61]

What happened here?

[alz89]

Afternoon all

[intheend]

I will violently punch you in the face -.- @jrtrussell

[jrtrussell]

nah

[lpfan61]

Someone’s being too much high…

[jrtrussell]

that’s what i’m saying

[jrtrussell]

My last post probably

Here [download%20(15)EEEGEGGEGS]

Just wanted to share this beauty